Judge — August 2, 1902 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Honey bee! a-gwine Climbin’ ‘roun’ de clover top an’ swing- in’ on de’ vine! Gatherin’ up an’ layin’ dat’s sweet, Totin’ of it home ‘case you's got mo’ dan you kin cat. White fo’ks keeps a-sayin’ why Doesn’ I work hahd like he! Huh! Unt Honey bee! “‘Whah is you by. ev'ything Not foh me! Wouldn’ be no honey bee! MR. HINNIGAN ON ‘WASHINGTON, ++ LJOV yez iver shtood on th’ pake av th’ altychewdinous o-be- lisk and, wid yer chist hayvin, viewed th’ imprissive fachures av Washin’- ton, Flinnigan?” asked Mr. Hinnigan. “Are he not dead?” inquired Flinnigan. “He are, but it are not,” plied Mr. Hinnigan. “T hov riferince, Flinnigan, t’ th’ city av magnanimous distances, th’ hidquarthers av Uncle Sam, th’ place where th’ I’adin’ indoostry are th’ mannifactor av laws—rid laws fer th’ Indians, whoite laws fer th’ other soide av Mason and Dixon's fince, and blue laws ier Massyachoos' “Oi shvppose they has illygant machinery in Wash#ton fer th’ makin’ av laws," remarked Flinnigan, with an ingenuous inspection of the jagged hole in the ceil “Thruly sid!" ejaculated Mr. Hinnigan. “It are lo-cated in a foine b'ildin’ av whoite marble fit t’ dazzle th’ eyes av a bloind man, and it are called cong: “Washin’ton are th’ winther ray- sort av th’ onripe shtatesmin av this stren’ous raypublic. Th’ vay-rious “disthricks. av th’ counthry sind ther | promisin’ illycootinists t’ ‘th’ sate av | govermint t’ learn what not t’ say and whin t’ say it. Yis, Flifnigan, they’s bar'ls av thim in Washin’ton. If they sur-vive th’ ripenin’ process they immajetly ‘inther th’ list av prisidintial poshibilities. Th’ Pot-o- mac, Flinnigan, are th’ Rubicon av th’ U-nited Shtates—and, be th’ way, manny fellies what are shup- posed t’ have so much knowledge that it hurts their heads don't know enough t’ kape in out av th’ wet. Th’ tush fer th’ white-house are some- thin’ so fierce at toimes that Oi often wondher why they don’t rade th’ riot act. “Av coorse it are not nicissirly fatal, but manny a lad hov losht his héad be ’t. And whole boonches av ashpirations hov be'n crooshed into a shapeless mass in th’ wild shtampade av th’ min who sake th’ priv'lige av namin’ th’ foorth-class postmashters.”” “Wor yez iver in Wash’tin?” ventured Flinnigan. “More toimes than yez have clothes t' yer back er coals t’ yer hod,” ejaculated Mr. Hinnigan, with an injured air. “Th lasht oc-casion whin Oi wor there, Flinnigan, I wint down Pincil- vany avenoo, bowin’t’ shtatesmin,con- grissmin, cabinetmin, ix-sinnitors and former laders in politics till th’ back av me neck wor that lame it took re- AN EXAMPLE REJECTED. -frinds.”’ Jes: keeps on a-workin’ an’; a-layin’ le stuff 4 Has “to bul bay winders: ‘case “de house ain’ big enough. de callers comes aroun’, he nebber is at home, "Case he’s on.an expedition foh to fill de honey: comb. When de winter gets aroun’ White folks comes an’ cats it, free. Huh! Uh! Not foh me! Wouldn’ be no hone: HPaskington Star, he-roic c'urage t’ make me curthesy t' th’ prisidint himsilf whin he came | down th’ white-house shtairway foor shteps at a toim t’ welcome me t’ th’ city. In fact, me shpinal column, afther all th’ bowin’ and schrapin’, felt loike it did th’ day follyin’ th’ nite Hancy gave th’ riot in honor av his “And what wor yez there for?” again ventured Flinnigan. “Me purpose in visitin’ Washin’- tori,” replied Mr. Hinnigan, “wor t’ secure a job fer a fine felly av me intymate acquaintance. This felly, in ‘pursooance av th’ time-honored parlimentry rule, put himsilf in th’ hands av his frind—mesilf—knowin’ thot Oi had inflooince av high voltage wid shtatesmin av great horse-power ise an ilictrical turm. As Oi wint into th’ white-house dure, th’ secketry av shtate sazed me be th’ fisht and th’ secketry av war shlapped me bechune th’ shoulth- ers.” At th’ suddint poke in me back, Oi turn’t suddint loike—wan av me old thricks whin Oi wor handy wid th’ mits—and came face t’ chist wid th’ secketry av th’ navey. “The nixt inshtant th’ sinnitor from Hoboken prissed me t’ dine wid him at th’ fa-mous hotil built on th’ very shpot where Georgie ampytated th’ fruit tree and th’ foorteenth as- sistant secketry t’ th’ sixth authitor av th’ fish com-mission mintioned that his gasoleneliss, horseliss trolley- car were at me dishposal. *Yez may belave that th’ shower av. curthesies imbarrass'd me; but whin th’ ambass'dor from Hindonavia inthrojuced his dauther and drugged me off t’ a light pink tay wid light grane trimmin’s, Oi soccombed, be- cause me heart were touched be th’ color av th’ trimmin’s. As a mat- ther av. fact, Oi were led away, t’ th’ grafe and dishappointmint av th’ vast assimblige av fa-mous min whose picthers yez view in th’ daily papers so fraquently and oftener on Soon- days. It were a good thing, howiver, fer we were blockin’ th’ way t’ th’ prisidint’s pink and blue. parlor. Whin we”—— “Be th’ way, if I don’t interrupt yez,”” remarked Flinnigan, “did yez land th’ job??? “Not yit,” replied Mr. innieant “Yez musht remimber that in th’ coorse av hooman evints"’—— “And are yez shtill in th’ hands av. yer frind what blocks business in No better Turkish Cigarette can be made Egyptian Deities Cork Tips as well Wishing to show the visiting foreigner what our athletes can do, we take him to the great fight between the heavyweight pugilists. le watches the storm of uppercuts, side-swipes, rib-jabs, solar-plexus dis turbers, etc., with much interest. At last he turns to us and says, “But I thought you told me your senate had adjourned." —Baltimore Amcr- ican. All you have guessed about life insur- ance may be wrong. If you wish to know \the truth, send for “ The How and the Why.” It is issued free by the PENN MUTUAL LIFE, g21-3-5 Chestnut St., Philadelphia. Wash’ton?” asked Flinnigan, with an inflection that closed the conversa- eo for the evening. LA MowTR WALDRON. "ED. D. PINAUD'S Importation Office 46 East 14th St., New York. THE “SOHMER” HEADS THE LIST OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS SOHMER “PIANOS _ Sohmer Building, ony sic Ave. cor 22d St. Yous BORATED TALCUM Thermometers are seldom marked down in hot weather.—Philadelphia Record. “@A Genuine Old Brandy made trom Wine.” Medical Press (London), Aug., ty MARTELL’S THREE STAR BRANDY AT ALL La) and RESTAURANTS. Fastest Trains in the World—On THE NEW. YORK CENTRAL. comicbooks.com