Judge — July 26, 1902 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

in YELLOWSTONE PARK RIVAL THE GEYSERS IN GENERAL INTEREST. Very low rates to the Pacific Coast in July and August. Tickets good for stop- over to visit the park and its bears, geysers and canons. Send Six (ents for” WONDERLAND 1902,” 25 cents for’Yellowstone National Park: 50 cents for Wild Flowers from the Yellowstone, 25 cents for “Climbing Mt. Rainier.” CHAS. S. FEE, GEN. PASS.AGT. ST. PAUL, MINN. Celia—" Oh, we had a delightful, time! she said, solicitously, ‘I wish you’ would quit drinking. You know it hat did you do?” is nothing in the world but slow poison.” chad “us submit sealed | | “There, you are, Mirandy,” he re- guesses as to the man she is cngaged to; | torted. ‘he minute a man ‘takes out the girl who guessed right is to be maid-of- |life insurance you women folks get un- honor."—Detroit Free Press | reasonable" |—Baltimore News. “Oh, woman!" he cried, “you are as | . cold as ice, and"”"—— 2 | “Have you any valuables you wish She turned upon him with a sudden | placed in the safe?" asked the hotel clerk aroun, of the guest who was about to retire, ——"as dear.” “Why, yes, I almost forgot,” re Her features relaxed again.—Kansas | the guest; “here is my panama hat. City Independent. [Ohio State Journal. P {OR Sale on all trains and at all live news stores. Price, 25° Latest Big Success -o A New Humorous Magazine from the “* Judge” You cannot afford to miss it. It’s an out-and- presses. out mirth pro- One Hundred and Twenty-eight Pages of fun— or send 25 cents in coin or stamps. o QUERULOUS QUATRAINS. b The worst about the summer, I should Is not the heat that melts us day by d But rather is the jokes that come alon And seek in vain to force us to be gay Ah, true, I know the soda-fountain clerk Doth seli sweet air with nimble toss and jerk; And yet one cannot always laugh at im— In truth, his is an honest piece of work. The quip about the maiden by the sca, Who wears abbreviated garb in glee, But proves, what jokes repeatedly have claimed, That many do not go to sea, but see. w. The jest about the iceman and h's price And how he sells a damp spot for a slic Is ancient, stale and deucedly passe. Oh, would that they would put it on the ice! v. The mercury, I know, will gayly rise Until it knocketh at the brazen skie: Yet it will not record the heat I fc At reading of the ants in picnic pies. vi. One other, from which for relief I suc, Is that with which the jokers ne'er get through: That warmth-increasing chestnut on the man Who murmurs: “Is it hot cnough for you?” vin Whether at Naishapur or Babylon, At Murphy's farm or Hotel Gei-the-mun, The jokesters sadly pen these five old things To prove there's nothing new beneath the sun! —Baltimore American. The Four Track News has been tarned out for July, and at present it is flying all over the country from sea to sea, ant making friends and subscribers wherever it goes—and it goes ¢ here, The Newfoundland iceberg, which is the frontispiece, will give universal satis- faction during these days of the delirious bow-wow and the vasclined zephyr. It would be unfair to tell the reader of all the inter ig bits of prose and verse, and of the jokes which coruscate on almost every page, and prove themselves well worthy of the sctting. All sorts of subjects are treated and served in a most artistic manner, from theatricals to woodland paths, from the world’s progress to the rest-cure, and from the jome of the caribou to the humor of the scissors. Besides, there is all the rail- road information that can be desired concerning the New York Central, Ameri- ca's greatest railroad, where its trains go to and how fast they go, and how jong it takes them to reach all sorts of spots that refresh, rejuvenate, build up, and throw off the burden of business fatigue, until the clephantine merchant fancies’ that he is a stormy petrcl. For further information apply to George H. Danicls, general passenger agent, New York Central, Grand Central sta- tion, New York city. Stubb—"They say the first shocks some people. Penn—"It did mi Stubb—" Water cold?” Penn—"No; my bathing suit began to shrink."”—Chicago News. surf bath Customer—"When was this chicken killed?” Waiter—" We don't furnish dates with chickens, sir. Only bread and butter.” —Baltimore World. Mrs. Meekton—"What do you think, James? Mother says she wants to be cremat James—"All right. Tell her to get her things on and I'll take her down now.” —New York Fournal. THE SIGNATURE, L. GARNIER, AND THE TRADE-MARE, CROSS, CIRCLE AND STARS, ARE TO BE FOUND ON EVERY BOTTLE OF Chartreuse —GREEN AND YELLOW— THE FORMER APPEARS TWICE ON EACH LABEL AND THE LAT- ‘TER 13 BLOWN INTO THE BOT- TLE, FOR THREE HUNDRED YEARS THIS MOST DELIGHTFUL OF ALL CORDIALS HAS BEEN MADE BY THE CARTHUSIAN MONKS OF THE GRANDE CHAR- TREUSE, GRENOBLE, FRANCE. At trstetitaWine Merchants. Bitjer & Co, 45 Broadway, New Vo Sole Agents for United States CEE REECE EEE ECE CE EEE CC CEEE EERE EE ECC CEE EEE EEEECECEREEE EE: i \ ceeececeecececececcecee” “Anything interesting in the Blank Magazine this month?” “Nothing worth mentioning. Only two new advertisements in the whole ninety-cight pages."—Cincinnati_ Com- mercial Tribune Pears’ All sorts of people use it, all sorts of stores sell the famous English complexion Established 1789. Sold all over the world, soap. Mary had a little foot, She wore a tiny: shoc, And everywhere that Mary went ‘Che people saw it, too! —Chicago Kecord-Herald, WANTED AT ONCE rol ERSON in Advertising Department with UNG PI originality and ability to illustrate ideas. Address, stating experience, and it possible inclosing sample of work, U.S. M., Jubcg, 110'Filth Ave, New Yorks wat Eigeer abte cored OPIUM SS Seer Street-department employce—"Why is the boss in such a hurry to yet this strect, laid down?" Second street-de partment employe he can go to work tearing it up agai Boston Post. Magistrate—"Ten dollars and_ costs! This is at least the tenth time I've had to fine you this year, and”. Inebriate —" Well, say, judge, oughtn't [ to git wholesale rates?’ Philadelphia Press. ‘aver-al comicbooks.com