Judge, 1902-07-19 · page 4 of 16
Judge — July 19, 1902 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces from Judge magazine (an American humor publication): **"Judge's Favorites"** presents three poems about "Captain Jinks," a character apparently known for romantic conquests and theatrical pretension—typical subjects of turn-of-the-century satire mocking vain military or aristocratic figures. **"Making No Mistakes Now"** satirizes ransom negotiations, where a bandit demands money from a missionary. The joke plays on the "guiltless bandit" demanding a percentage royalty—mocking both criminal behavior and business practices of the era. **"The Exception"** and **"The Wonderful Doings of Marvelous Thomas"** appear to be illustrated humor pieces, likely involving wordplay or physical comedy typical of Judge's style. The overall tone reflects early 1900s American satire targeting social pretension, criminal activity, and gender dynamics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
"TWAS EVER ‘THUS. AND there came unto the sage for counsel an anx- ious mother lead- ing a small boy. “Advise me, oh, fount of wis- dom,” spake she, “concerning _ my child, who has fall- en into evil ways. He will not study, but persists in dodging his tasks, that he may idle in the fields and hear the birds sing.” “Alas!” ree plied he of the per- spicacity, “your son has the bud- FOR WET FEET. Tue cuicx—" What's the matter?” Tue puckLino—"' You'd cry, too, if your ma made you wear overshoes when ding genius mi- you went swimming."* crobe in his sys- tem. You can do nothing. When he grows up he will cultivate a flowing mane and be a JUDGE'S FAVORITES. poet. And the public will call him a ‘sweet singer’ after he has passed aw: Then the woman wept much and bitterly, for it had been her heart's desire that Regi- ELIZABETH KENNEDY. | | { In “Captain Jinks ”* nald should follow the gas-fitting trade. She smiles and winks And capers till the bald-head thinks Jaggles— Those fellows with the racing autos seem to think they own the streets.” He's struck the spice Of paradise, Who's always worth the ticket’s price. Waggles—“ Regular autocrats, eh ?” In ** Captain Jinks" ‘She takes the kinks Out of our woe, and gayly links Our souls to joy Without alloy— She meets care’s microbe to destroy. In “* Captain Jinks” She is a minx: Likewise a star that never sinks, But stays on high And makes us sigh— She ts the brightest in the sky. MAKING NO MISTAKES NOW. soWeE HAVE fixed your ransom,” growls the chief of the brigands, “at two hundred thousand dollars.’ “I will ty to raise the money,” falters the captive missionary. “But that is not all,” continues the relentless bandit. “We must have a ten-per-cent. royalty on your lecture receipts.” ‘Truly the guileless bandits had learned a bitter lesson in the past. THE EXCEPTION. Sunpay-scuoot Teacter—"‘ How many animals went into the ark, Dolly ?"* Dotty (aged four)—"* Two of every kind, except Noah and his sons.” NO. 2,—THE WONDERFUL DOINGS OF MARVELOUS THOMAS. “Ladies and gentlemen, | have drawn here a cup of tea. Now, with a very few ” lines more, we have the-— —old maid that drinks it, comicbooks.com