Judge, 1902-07-05 · page 8 of 20
Judge — July 5, 1902 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains three distinct pieces of humor: **"Uncle Hiram" column (top)**: A rustic correspondent critiques European monarchy and defends American egalitarianism. "Hiram" sarcastically argues that foreign aristocrats maintain power through tradition alone, while in democratic America, anyone of merit should succeed. The joke satirizes both excessive reverence for British royalty among some Americans AND crude anti-aristocratic sentiment. **"The Designation Suits" (middle)**: A schoolteacher asks a boy what "high explosives" means; he answers "sky-rockets." Simple wordplay humor. **"At the Coronation" (lower right)**: King Edward asks if his crown sits straight—likely referencing Edward VII's recent coronation (early 1900s), mocking royal vanity. **"Milking-Time" (bottom)**: A boy tells Miss Cutters the family observes holidays—except cows don't, so milking happens anyway. This satirizes rural indifference to national observances. The page's recurring theme: American practicality and democratic values versus Old World formality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
At I -PENNICK. de: , «y,OUR COUNTRY CORRESPONDENT - | x ee re pen in tand Amy of the royel famlys is humbugs & says if its true what he’s heerd bout sum of them dukes, hangins to good fer em. I made a speach in town hall here satday nite that shows you how the speerit that stured the boozums of our fourfathers haint ded yet as follers : Feller Citzens : Sum famlys of ferrin lands has to be high up & others has to be low down. That's the way they been runnin things fer so long in them countries they dont kno no better. The Royel famlys that got to the top of the lader of fame as the poit says.2 hunderd yers ago is still up, & a good many on em wuld be keepin sloons er workin in cheez factrys if the peeple tuk a noshen to kick the lader out frum under em. In Ameriky the land of the free one man orto be az good az a nuther & a blame —— o-— site beter if he fites fer his place & behaves hisself & has branes to back it. peeple wunt to pay fer dressin up 2 or 3 tony fellers in velvit cl an sendin em over to a ferrin country fer to do plite bowin & scrapin front of a Kin; Josh Mellun. thats a big gun caus his parunts wuz, wy let em do it but the U.S. Congres & the pee- Davis JUNCTION, O., it ) HH LHHHIILI ie June 28th, ti 1B Eprrer JUDGE: My | Uncle Cyrus Whif- | fle is so’s to be round agin, Cyrus says they “Hangin 's too good | ort to be a law to ferkem:” make auttymobiles run on tracks. Josh Mellun 82 yers old celebratid his burthda ple of Davis Junction orto stick clost to the constitooshun & rek- lect that this nashun | haint founderd on a monarky & is jest as e much fr them that haint got pedigr them that has. y tuesday fer last_g yers Josh has turned a hanspring every birthday —but this time he givs it up owin to a cowbunckle on his neck. ‘Theresa good deel of talk in this part of Ohio bout the way the country is goin crazy cloak of glory reddy made & dont hav to be paid fer wunt fit the Amerikan Cheers fer them that fites fer there fame but not a gol- blame cheer fer them that gets it fer noth- in, citzen here says most Uncle Hiram lectures his fellow-townsmen, HikaM PENNICK. over royelty. Fust it wus that Princ Henery now its the King of England. Levi Kink leedin THE DESIGNATION SUITS. se TOMMY,” said the school-teacher to Tommy Taddells, “ what do you understand by the term + high explosives *?” AT THE CORONATION. My dear.” ! My love 2” 9 * Sky-rockets, ma'am,” replied Tommy. ‘ing Edward (anxiously)—" Is my crown on straight 2" “Bye, * Wiveout ~N MILKING-TIME. 4 ‘e>—" Little boy, don't you ever observe the holidays— the foyrth of July, the king’s coronation, or the sabbath for a day of rest?” a Of course / does, but de cows don't.” * comicbooks.com