Judge, 1902-06-28 · page 11 of 17
Judge — June 28, 1902 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge magazine (circa early 1900s) is primarily **advertising with one substantial poem**. **Main Content - "Staggerin' 'Umanity" Poem:** A satirical verse celebrating the end of the Boer War (implied by references to Kitchener, Kruger, and Rhodes). Written in working-class London dialect, it mocks British society's response to peace: soldiers will be knighted (Kitchener gets an earldom), colonial figures rewarded, and the nation will celebrate with drink. The poem's irony lies in its cynical view—peace means returning to ordinary life and accepting that powerful figures like banker Morgan will continue exploiting new colonial territories. Kipling gets mocked for inevitably writing heroic poetry about it all. **Minor Content:** Short humorous anecdotes about children's logic and gambling etiquette round out the page. **Advertising:** Takes up roughly half the space, featuring products like soap, pianos, brandy, and tonics typical of the era. The satire targets post-war British triumphalism and imperial greed.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
STAGGERIN’ UMANITY. Locdon, June 2-—The wild demonstration in ecle- fon of the declaration of peace exceeds that which ked the reveption of the news of the relief of Mate ing. Gable wispatch,) Haustin g hus a song, An’ allo” the dooks an’ the nobles will si- lence their ping an’ their pong: An’ Hedward will stop bein’ fitted with joolry an’ velvet an’ lace. in’ grins 0” the royalest_ gladness will chase ‘emselves hover ‘is face 30, ho, for the hale made in Burton! “Uzza w'ile we gurgie hit down— ‘The peace that staggers ‘umanity ‘as ‘it hus in Lunnentown! An’ Kitchener—e gets a hearldom for fetchin’ the beggars a crack! An’ Kruger—'e stays there in ‘Olland, a-‘oldin’ the bloomin’ old sack! An’ Rhodes—'e gets nothin’ fo because, the poor beggar, ‘e di More he could figger the profit on rippin’ the tail from the ‘ide So, ho, for the hale m: Clink glawses an" gurgle hit down— The peace that staggers ‘umanity ‘as ‘it hus in Lunnentown! le in Burton! "Erc’s ‘opin’ we'll ‘old the new country we've ‘ad so much bother to win— An’ ‘opin’ that Morgan won't figger that ‘ed hought to gobble hit in For Kiplin’—'e'll write hus a_ poem bloomin’ well write hit, ‘¢ will An’ Haustin—‘e'll sling hus a hepic, an’ foot hit all hup in the bill So, barman, fill hup all the glawses an’ grin wile we gurgle hit down The peace that staggers ‘umanity hus in Lunnentown! —Baltimere American. Tommy had been worrying papa with the usual number of unanswerable ques- tions, and had been threatened with condign punishment if he did not keep quiet.” He fidgeted about in silence for some time, but at length broke out say the rain falls alike upon just and the unjust, doesn’t it?” “Yes, yes. Don't ask silly questions.” And ‘it isn’t just, to steal another n's umbrella, ist?" “Certainly not. If you more” = “But, pa, the rain doesn’t fall upon the man that steals the umbrella, and it does on the man that has his’ stolen Funny, ain’t it, pa?” —London Tit-Bits. Packer’s Tar Soap is pure, mild, invigorating and antiseptic. It soothes while cleansing, and for more than a quarter of a century been The Standard ask any For the Hair and Skin. THE “SOHMER” HEADS THE LIST OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS, SOHMER PIANOS Sohmer Bu Sth Ave., cor. ate York. You will get more prompt attention and better by mentioning JuncK when answering advert ding, ydreace'New posed to be. been found in Missouri. tory the call wherever down system is needed ; builds up flesh and nerve tissue. wise native Kadi mind?” any. sympathy cent Standard av 4 4 4 i a 4 d a { 4 a 4 The Paier Mg. Con 85 Futons, New York | Su IF IN HASTE TAKE THE NEW YORK CENTRAL, | Projessor Searcher—" What are sup- In the great gambling hall there was petrified horse tracks have breathless. silence. ame between two of the billionaires was in 5 Some folks is all de time cryin’ fer ever knocked holler fam half-way up de chimbley dat n't at home.—.1lamta Constitution: own door de Projessor Searcher Now Kiplin’ will write hus a poem, an‘| ¢xactly alluv’ ust my opinion, jammed hundreds. of curious people, watching their play with aston- 1 deposit in which’ thos were discovered represented widely diffe ; “Housckeeper’ bothering, me and_ geological his- 1 the correspondence editor nts to know how to keep ars of g mouldy on top.” As of zo: logica Til bet you a porterhouse steak!" Murmurs of awe rise from the watchers. Clear and stern comes the answer : I'M sce that porterhouse steak and ¢ditor, raise you two rib roasts, a pig's knuckle | down. and a can of ox-t Here the onlookers gz One of them, indeed, muttered “It is such ‘things as this that mak Tell her to turn them upside Philadelphia Press A BOTTLE of EVANS’ ALE What know the hoi polloi of sport?—Baltimore American wouldn't be surpri ‘etic explorer introduced here si Mrs. Muggins a man of rare cellent judgment. ” ° it.” replicd the the faithful d parts will continue to he the Eskimotor.”* Catholic Stan Soothes the Stomach Quenches the Thirst Sharpens the Appetite Fills All Wants SAFEST DRINK FOR SUMMERDAY CAHLEVANSR SONS, ‘¢ wanted to marry —Philadelphia I suppose you've heard about that awful ‘cynic, losing My! that’s terrible | #A Genuine Old Brandy made from Wine.” — Medical Press (London), Aug, 1899, TELL’S THREE STAR BRANDY AT ALL BARS and RESTAURANTS. 75% i | re LH 3 gf Hi 12 + i 3 one : or liste aac, elastic banés, $1.00 deck, elastic Bands, “1.60 CHARTREUSE FI lid —— Her eyes fell.” dropped, by her side.”" “He lost his tongue.” “His jaw dropped.” “Her ‘voice fell “She crushed him with a His heart sank like le Then, one would suppose, the house-| {maid came with a broom and swe the débris, but nothing ‘sin the story. —€ hicay IN POLITE SOCIETY IT 13 CUSTOM TO TAKE A GLASS OF Chartreuse —GREEN OR YELLOW— | Strengthens System A3 A FITTING FINALE TO A GOOD DINNER. THIS CELEBRATED LIQUEUR HAS BEEN MADE FOR THREE HUNDRED YEARS BY OF LA GRANDE CHARTREUSE, GRENOBLE, are the original bottled Cocktails. Years of experience have made them THE PERFECT COCKTAILS THE MONKS Do not be lured into buying some imitation. The ORIGINAL of anything is good When others are offered it is for the purpose of larger prof= Insist upon having the CLUB COCKTAILS, and take no other, & BRO, Sole Preprictors 29 Broapway, New Youx, N.Y. Hantrorp, CONN. that they are. AtfistaclaseWine Merch: adway, New Vork, Sule Agents for United States G. F. WEUBLE An Awkward Position ‘Wil best tet the comfort of the PRESIDENT SUSPENDER Every pair guaranteed, oe EI Before Mals APPETIZER After Meals DIGESTIVE At All Times TONIC sth St., New Vork, STEPHEN P. WHITMAN & RO: 1816 Chestaut Street, comicbooks.com