Judge, 1902-06-07 · page 9 of 18
Judge — June 7, 1902 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"The Quick and the Dead"** critiques public inconsistency: citizens honor fallen soldiers with flowers, yet throw bricks at living war heroes—mocking how societies romanticize the dead while neglecting or resenting those still sacrificing. **"Under Two Contracts"** is a baseball joke about a pitcher refusing to enter the batter's box because he must write a newspaper article, satirizing how athletes were increasingly becoming media personalities with competing obligations. **"A Rustic Love-Letter"** is rural Americana humor—a farmer's sentimental poem to "Kit" mixing pastoral imagery (willows, purple hills) with crude practical concerns (cayuse horses, mother's pancakes), mocking both flowery sentimentality and rustic simplicity. **"Wanted the Price Marked Down"** jokes about parents bargaining over medical bills for a newborn, treating childbirth as a commercial transaction where they expect discounts. The fishing cartoon appears illustrative of general humor rather than specific satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘THE QUICK AND THE DEAD. E MET the people going one way with their arms loaded with heauteous flowers. “Whither do ye drift?” we asked. “We go,” they explained, “to adorn the graves of our dead heroe Later on we met them with their arms full of bricks. + An | now where ?" we asked again, To throw these at our living heroes,” they again explained, with pitying smiles for our dumb- ness. UNDER TWO CONTRACTS. Manager—" 1 want you to go into the box in I'm sorry, but I can't do it.” Manager—" Why not?" Pitcher—“ Ve got to write an article for a ON THE BUGVILLE BOULEVARD. Dante Buc—* Dear me! I wish peuple wouldn't throw their shoes around so. The neighbors will think we're advertising for cobblers’ work." A RUSTIC LOVE-LETTER. EAR KIT Scent of willows idly creeping Over fields alfalfa-laden, Purple hills in twilight sleeping, In my buckboard sata maiden + Kit, harking lack to summer, Wasn't that cayuse a hummer? mi, with orchard blended, olden sunlight on the riv Dewy fields when night descended, Pussy willows all a-quiver Say, Kit, speaking of th Weren't those tw WANTED THE PRICE MARKED DOWN. erds and sheep ag “Say, pal” q the me : “What is it, my child?" ert a * Has the doctor brought the bill for our new baby yet?" Perfect weather—most amazing Why do you ask?” Ft, speaking now of farming ‘Cause if he charges full price 1 wouldn't pay it.”” ‘ a aie amar wee Weren't your mother's pancakes charming? “"Tain't as big as the baby he brought the people next door.” 3, —And a big one, too WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE HOOKS GOT CROSSED. comicbooks.com