Judge, 1902-05-31 · page 6 of 16
Judge — May 31, 1902 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple unrelated satirical cartoons and jokes typical of early Judge magazine format. **"His Scheme"** mocks literary pretension: a famous author admits his published success story about escaping financial hardship through a clever soap invention was entirely fictional—he actually just sold the *description* of the scheme to a magazine for money. The satire targets both the author's vanity and readers who believe published "success stories." **"A Hopeless Job"** jokes about con artists misleading investors with false tips. **"In the Melee"** uses Irish dialect humor (common in period satire) where a witness describes an assault with a "mallet behind th' ear"—the lawyer mishears legal terminology. **"How He Came Out"** plays on the double meaning of "came out"—Waspley's courtship attempt failed literally and metaphorically (he has back-of-neck bruises). **"The Significance"** uses Irish working-class dialect for a joke about repeated beatings establishing dominance. The cartoons reflect period stereotypes and humor conventions no longer considered acceptable.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HIS SCHEME. EFORE calling on you,” began the young man who had called to worship the emi- nent literary light who was just entering fon the reminiscent stage of a successful career, “I wish to say that I have rea your wonderful story about how you once got out of financial straits by developing a money-making scheme. If it is not too impertinent of me to ask, I would like to know if that story is founded on fact.” “That's all right,” said the great man with gratified vanity, “ The story to which you refer is undoubtedly founded on fact. At the time when I developed that scheme Iwas just as hard up as the story sug- gests.” “And did it really get you out of your troubles 2" ran “lt did.” A HOPELESS JOB. “Then you were really once engaged ii e soap busi- Atcy—"* That fellah told us to play * Squittgun’ to win, didn't he?” ness?" en yourwere feallyonce engaged in the Soap: bus Fervy—"' Yes: said it would be just like finding money.” Atcy—*' Bah Jove! | think he must have meant like finding ‘ golf-balls.’ "" * By no means, When I developed that scheme for an automatic soap that would not only float but dive about and — capitalists in its manufacture, the artistic beauty of the whole thing struck me, create its own lather, and perfected my plan for interesting and instead of profaning it by trying to put it into effect I wrote out a descrip- tion of it in the form in which you read it and sold it to a magazine that made a specialty of helpful articles, for enough money to relieve my necessities.” , IN THE MELEE. Atlorney—" Did you see the plaintiff strike the defendant IWitness—* Oi did, sor.” Alttorney—" And was the assault committed with malice aforethought it wor committed wid a mallet behoind th’ ear. QUITE IMPOSSIBLE. 66] WONDER whether any one will ever invent a silent typewriter 2” * Not as long as women are employed.” HOW HE CAME OUT. Banks —Waspley was going to ask old Bullion for his daughter's hand, wasn’t he ?” HES WTAIOR EAUGHING. Danks—* He did ask him." Mrs. Garoinc—'* Naow, you sed if I'd give yew a meal yew'd do a lot 0° hoeing.”* Banks—« How did he come out?” Witty Wase—'*I did, ma'am; I said ‘Ho, ho, hol’ all de time | wuz eatin’."* Danks— On the back of his neck, I believe.” THE SIGNIFICANCE. “ Cassidy says he feels sure he kin lick Moriarty.” *Th’ divil! Has Moriarty licked him so many tolmes as thot?” comicbooks.com