Judge — May 24, 1902 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY AT THE JUDGE BUILDING, 110 PIFTIE AVENUR, NRW TORK. Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE One copy, one year, or §2 numbers = = $500 One copy, sar montis, of 6 aumbers. - "sso One copy, for thirteen weeks = as "Prctuding the Carmistias June: FOREIGN SUPSCRIPTIONS—To all foreizn countries in the postal union, $6.00 a year . Ohicags. . iream's building, Chancery lane. SSaarkach's news erchange. Of Is individal picture, and NOT f stamps to the full amovat of postage is also required, material not accepted. of paper. Inclosur retur GREAT DRAWBACK with the average theory by which we are confronted is that it is not non-ex- plosive. ITH the average political aspirant distance doesn’t lend any enchantment to a view of the White House worth speaking of. I" IS SAI ce. ID that Bryan is now practically out of the This fement we are willing to believe we never considered him in it. 1E POLITICAL CANDIDATE who would not have golden argosies of mud cast upon him should keep himself well covered with hornet-stings. T IS RUMORED that the party managers are already preparing to use their subtlest art to the end that they mAy subsidize the ping-pong vote for E GOLF-PLAYER and the taurine quadruped would be equally grate- ful to Marconi if he would but invent a barbless barbed and a wireless T! wire barbed-wire fence. IT IS now proposed to ROM MAINE to California, from Minnesota to Texas, from mountain to mountain, and from sea to sea, it is now the consensus of opinion among them that know the pulse of the country that all the political hopes and aspirations of William Jennings Bryan are such stuff as pipe-dreams are made of. ‘ {F THE BARNUMIZATION of American literature goes on at its present rate much longer, and the numbers of readers that now read continue to read as voraciously, it is fair to predict that the ancient saying,“ There’s a saloon on every corner,”’ will be succeeded by one to the effect that on every corner there is a book-publishing house. THE EVER interesting combination of the occasion and the man was seen at its best in the case of General Funston, who for his recent utterances seems to have had his gun of loquacity most summarily and effectually spiked. But this will in no way dim the lustre of the renown of the hustling Kansan, who is greatest when heard of and not heard. HE WAR is now on in New Jersey, and crude petroleum is being hurled broadcast upon the troubled waters of the swamps and marshes of the mosquito state, to the end that the merry mandolin of the fairy buzzard may be stilled forever. It seems a great pity that, in this advanced age of civilization, our troubles with the mosquito cannot be adjusted by arbi- tration. TH E REALIST sits on the honeysuckled porch and is certain that he hears the strident, unvaselined rat-tat-tat of the lawn-mower when his anything but ravished soul absorbs the ding-dong ping-pong medley of the locust. But the impressionist is happier in the matter of poetic inter- pretation, inasmuch as when he hears the metallic syllables of the lawn- mower scattered on the ambient air he fancies he is listening to the eisted- fodd of the locust in the shimmering draperies of the wind-tossed snow- ball-tree. THE crimson rose is climbing up the string, The small boy gets the hornet in the neck; The coal-man thinks his business a wreck, The ice-man ’s on the dance and on the sing; The scent of new-mown hay begins to wing Across the sunny mead that daisies fleck. And now the aureated dog ’s on deck To caracole and lope and leap and spring. The baseball clips the cloud-ship on the fly, The umpire ’neath the bat disintegrates ; And while the swallows round the stable veer, And we're besculptured with the cherry-pie, We sip our pikra and defy the fates Because we know that dear old summer ’s here. Ss A run automobiles by alco- hol power, it remains to be seen whether members of the woman's temperance union will countenance and patronize machines so propelled, or if they will insist upon a service of non-alcoholic motors. Is IT NOT about high time for Thomas Brackett Reed to uncamphor and unmoth-ball his justly famous boom and trot it out, that its dulcet and mellifluous reverberations may be heard from Maine to Cali- fornia, to the infinite delight and rapture of his many friends and partisans? Ir MAY NOT be generally known that Ohio leads all the other states in the produc- tion of onions as well as in the production of presidents. If we should annex Bermuda it might mean the surrender of the onion-studded belt, em- blematic of the championship, by Ohio; but it would still be fe, from a financial point of iew, to bet that the Buckeye state will remain at or pretty near the top in the important industry of president-farming. Unrine (in the backgrow Dutcny—"' Vat it iss?” AT RILEY'S PING-PONG PARTY. nd)—“* Yer goin’ fer to see the game av yer loife now, Dutchy."* Unrine—*’ Oi painted the bats grane an’ the ball orange."” comicbooks.com