Judge, 1902-04-26 · page 5 of 16
Judge — April 26, 1902 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **"Of Course She Took the Hint"** mocks wealthy industrialists' coldness. A street-railway magnate ignores his daughter's suitor, claiming preoccupation with "public comfort" and unheated cars. The joke satirizes how the rich use civic duty as cover for rudeness—implying the magnate would be warmer if genuinely focused on the public rather than self-interest. **"The Crow That Was a Congenital Thief"** is political allegory. A corrupt crow who steals constantly gets elected to office, where he continues stealing legally. The moral—"Reputation is sometimes more valuable than character"—critiques how politicians with bad reputations still gain power and respectability through official position, effectively legalizing their corruption. **Smaller items** include jokes about a tailor "coining money" with ping-pong costumes, and an actress whose wealthy husband's large insurance policy explains her anxious concern for his health—implying mercenary motives. The page overall satirizes wealth, corruption, and hypocrisy among the privileged classes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OF COURSE SHE TOOK THE HINT. E WAS wooing the only daughter of the street-railway magnate in the palatial home of that multi-millionaire, ‘They sat on a satin-covered sofa with gold buttons, and their feet sank almost up to the ankles in a rug that royalty might have envied. Presently the great man entered the front door, took a casual survey of the parlor and its occupants, let fall a formal word, and passed on. * He does not dislike you,” murmured the fair young girl, « but his mind is constantly absorbed in planning for the comfort of the public, and he some- times seems cold when he is only thinking of the cars which have no heating apparatus.” “And yet,” said the young man thoughtfully, «1 could almost wish that he was an humble conductor once more.” “Why, what do you mean?” * Because, instead of this studied politeness, which goes with great wealth, he might have merely said, «Sit a little closer, please. And nothing can ever separate them. THE CROW THAT WAS A CONGENITAL THIEF. (A fake. CROW that was brought into the world without having any proper idea regarding the rights of certain individuals to acquire and retain property never acquired that proper idea. The crow was a congenital thief, with a training that materially aided the natural bent. The crow stole from those who trusted him and from those who did not, from relatives and friends, from strangers and enemies. He was up and doing at all times, and never desisted from peculation, except when dodging the officers of the law or when the grand jury was in session. His reputation was as bad as it could he nd was as extensive as his depredations, ‘The thieving that had at first been inten- tional finally became habitual, The other residents of the vicinity, having long suffered from the depred: tions of the crow, decided that some- thing must be done. Since we have to care for and support the rascal,” said one wise old bird, “why not elect him to office ? ‘That will be a fitting finale to his career, and it will end the disgrace of having an unauthorized thief at large and setting a bad example to the youn; So the crow was elected to a responsible office, where he added to his reputation and to his store of this world’s valu- ables for many years. Moral—Reputation is sometimes more valuable than character. COINING MONEY. SepM getting rich _now id the ladies" tailor. + 1'm acquiring wealth of all sorts.” What is your scheme 2" “ve designed a ping-pong costume. A SURE THING. Farmer Mossbacker behind the striped tent) “Ain't this ‘ere a game o° chance ? The three-shell pirate AT THE PROFESSIONAL MATINEE. (truthfully) —" Nope ! ‘That poor actress worrles an awful lot about her husband's health.” boay that’: . Why, Jack, he looks extremely robust from here!”” anybody that’s ever played He oaruen Fora He Is quite robust; but I happen to know that he’s insured for fifty thousand, and that's why she worrles.”” comicbooks.com