Judge — April 19, 1902 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NOTHING NEW TO HIM. ." said Uncle Bill ‘ oe tb was right funny, Meddergrass in re- stated the chef of counting his adventures 1 } the cannibal king. «It while on a visit to his “n° i was right funny to hear city nephew; “yes, I od load that cook we captured reckon John did his best ES ie ka i ___ last week telling us how to entertain me an’ to \ 4 Lyi ! to prepare soup stock. make me have a good / lh It made me think of a time —p'ticularly about y ] /, { | lobster giving lectures the theayters. He took \ N before the chafing-dish me to a different: show = i ' if! f ! party begs. ‘ ‘bout every night except ~ = e\ - And then he gravely Sunday, an‘ then I no- == \ H swallowed a pepsin pill ticed he had to look in that had been left by the the d'rectory to find out ie Z \\ } pice de résistance of a whur the church was. A Dacy Ye AN wedding breakfast. But the first theayter he AN OMINOUS OUT- took me to was one "bout LOOK. “Way Down South,’ or Farmer Hornbeak— somepin like “Tsee by the papers that they had a real hog an* HIS CHANCE: a ase at "That heiress from Oklahoma says she never saw a lobster except In cans. a.syndicate out, in) Mis a real dog an’ a real Rurext—“ Good! Then you ought to make a grand impression in that dress-suit.”” souri has established a dog-ranch where they are goin’ to raise bloodhounds ex- clusivel Farmer Mossbacker—* | s'pose that means the found- of an + Uncle-Tom’s-Cabin’ trust. It’s capital strikin® another blow at the toilin’ masses.” A NOVELTY, ANY WAY. S6]'VE got the greatest idea you ever heard of for a stren- uous play,” declares the young author. “What are you going to dramatize—the cook-book ?” we ask with fine sarcasm, “Dramatize nothing!" he retorts, “This is tobe purely and entirely and amazingly original. The herdine is to be a mother-in-law and the hero a baseball umpire.” EXPENSIVE. Mistan Jackson—" How yo'r son makin’ out up in Noo Yawk? Do it cost moah fo’ vit- tles up dah ?' Uncte Samso—"* Free times as much, Henry sez dat dere ain't a chicking-coop er a watah- million-patch in de whole place." pump an’ a real hoss in the show. An’ the nex’ one was a theayter ‘bout * David Scarem it had more hosses an’ more pumps an’ more hay in it. An’ then the nex’ the- ayter was ‘bout *Blte Jeans,’ an’ it had areal saw-mill an’ real farmers an’ real dishes on the table. An’ then they w other theaytres with real barns an’ re: cows an’ real chickens an’ real this an’ that, but I can’t say as how I was exac'ly struck with ‘em. No, not exac'ly. Some time Lintend to go to the city without lettin’ John know about it, an’ then I'm goin’ to see a real theayter; but as to this trip, as fur as theayters is concerned, T could ‘a’ stayed at home an’ saved John money an’ seen the same things. MISTAKEN NATIONALITY. HE inebriated citizen, who was rico- chetting his homeward way just as dawn was gleaming and glittering like a Spanish omelet, collided suddenly and forcibly with the silent one USEFUL. Get out, you crazy Dutchman !" he THE WHOLE THING. Wintie—" Gee! next time I go shooting 1 : He Gee! next time I go shooting cried angrily: hut a second glance con- GLARE" What do you think of all the adulation they pala Prince Henry when he was here ?”* brella along.”” vinced him that he was addressing a Pole. Erwex—** Simply rai comicbooks.com