Judge, 1902-04-12 · page 5 of 16
Judge — April 12, 1902 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical vignettes typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Under the Rose"** mocks poets who claim artistic integrity while actually chasing commercial success—the speaker writes "sonnets and odes" but admits he's "out for biz" and cares about money ("cash begilds my jeans"). **"Her Lucky Daughter"** plays on social climbing: a rural woman's daughter marries a French "count," but the punchline reveals he's actually a *chauffeur*—a servant, not nobility. The humor lies in the mother's misunderstanding and false prestige. **"Her First Request"** jokes about missionary work: rescued from kidnappers, the missionary's first demand is a *fashion paper*, not food or rest—satirizing materialism masquerading as piety. **"A Match"** ridicules a woman accepting an elderly suitor solely because his antique furniture matches her decor, suggesting shallow materialism in marriage decisions. The page satirizes American pretension, commercialism, and status-seeking across classes—common Judge themes attacking both working-class social climbing and wealthy superficiality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
UNDER THE ROSE. IN shirt-sleeves at the dead of night, And when [ lift my voice, which means Beneath the glaring, dancing light, A blast for old St. Botolph's beans, With might and main, Alas, alack! For golden gain, Acrackerjack + The sonnet and the ode I write, T soar, and cash begilds my jeans. The sale of Murphy’s beer to swell, Tam no message" chaste'and sweet I lam the lute and wake the spell— That grinds out prophesies" to beat The spell divine ‘The blooming band— Ji NS And superfine Lam the grand .~ That savors of the fabled shell. Old bard that gets there with both feet. - f i x) Xo Pegasus cer irales me go amassusward with joy aglow— ~ > “Ay I'm out for biz roe ; And whirl and whizz, ACTED LIKE ONE. CroLty—"' Oh, I say! what do you think you are— an automobile?” HER FIRST REQUEST. REATLY excited, the band of rescuers sur- rounded the missionary whom they had g| saved from the hands of her kidnappers. Utterly weak and faint, she lay upon a cot, but smiled HF feebly at her friends. asks one. “ Yes," she whispers, “yes. Get me a fash- { “Is there anything we can get for you?" ii KS Si ything 8 y | ion-paper. I haven't seen one for six months.” HER LUCKY DAUGHTER. HIS NON-PROGRESSIVENESS. Lan’ sakes! what ye fixin’ up so fer?” , Tee tT Mrs. Bacxwoons—“ W'y, hain't ye heerd thet Hattie married one o° them French fellers with Farmer Dunk —« That ‘ere hired man of a ferrin title an’ ‘s comin’ home next week?” yourn is pretty slow, ain't he, Mrs. Wicctes—** Do tell! Did she marry one o’ them counts?" y Mrs. Backwoops—" Mercy mel! I guess he's bigger'n a count. She says in her letters thet Farmer’ Horabeak uss. He's too gol- he's a chauffeur,” vummed slow to make a successful pall-bearer.” A MATCH. lanche, are you going to accept Mr. Oldboy?”” Yes. I think so.”* jut he's three times as old as you." But he does harmonize so lovely with my antique furniture."* comicbooks.com