Judge — March 22, 1902 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

COULDN'T FIGURE IT UP. ee ERE there any trillion. aires in ancient Rome 2" we asked of the astute antiquarian, “TL think not,” he replied. “You see, with the Roman system of numerals it would have required a car- load of chalk and a blackboard as long as from here to Halifax to enable a man to fig- ure up the interest on a million denarii at eight per cent. for one year, six months and twenty “days, and. by the time he had summed it up anid se- cured a telescope to see the beginning of his figures the bor rower would have died of old ag ACCORDING TO SAINT PATRICK. O'Toole—"1 can always tell the real Irish whiskey.” Mulligan—* How ?" O'Toole AT THE PLAY. hat is the most realistic lawn | ever saw.” Gladys Reginal (Hloor-walker)—" It ought to be -* Because it has no snakes in it.” said Mr. Fosdick. “Yes, sort,” replied the Irish office-boy ; and how soon will you 7 it's made of grass cloth.” be hack if no one asks for you PAINTING THE LILY. Ms. Coswiccer “So your daughter is a great admirer of nature 2” Urs. Parvenue “Yes, indeed. Nothing pleases her so much as to gather wild flowers and grasses and then dye them all the colors of the rainbew.”” PRINCE SUNBEAM AWAKENING THE SLEEPING BEAUTY—SPRING. ~~'TO BOB EVANS. ANS, you're a dun’, 's our heart and Your glass was always ready ‘To toast the German bund. Bob ms, you're 4 stayer, You know your bus'ness, Bob, And when there's comp'ny comii You'll IKEY’S FUTURE. Einstein —“\ shust dinks I'll mako a farmer out of my leedle key Zuveistein — for you do dot?" Einstein — “Ny, simply pecause | read in der paper dot der crops most usually al- vays vas a failure, She puts her verdant carpet down The one that can't be beat, EXPLICIT. 4¢]F ANY one asks for me, James, | shall be back in ten minutes,” comicbooks.com