Judge — March 15, 1902 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEELY AT THE JUDGE BUILDING, 210 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK, Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year, of s numbers - = $5.00 One copy, six 2 numbers: 3.80 One copy. eeks es + 83S aclu nstatas Jvoc FOREIGN SURSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign count Bright, manager, Beyce Burldine, Chicago nttrmational ewes company. fiveam's building, Chancery lan catwane we POpera, Parte: Saarback's mews exchange, Maine in the postal unioa, $5.00 a year. otherwise return of the DRAWINGS and all coatr name and address written plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying escriptive tetter-press should in every instance be written upon its individeal picture, ve . postage is also required, HE MASSACHUSETTS CAT will soon be licensed, if the bill just introduced in the legislature of that state shall become a law. The owner of each cat will be required to see to it that his domestic pet is sup- Plied and equipped with a collar bearing his name and address, and also a number by which the mouser may be legally known and identified. A part of the statute which may be made and provided should be that the collar be placed around the cat’s neck so firml id tightly as to preclude the possibility of his making himself heard when the moonlight fantasy peculiar to cathood is discoursed in gentle undulations or with poetic fire amid the arboreal silhouettes of the garden paling. If the cat shall be licensed the question will naturally be raised as to whether the person afflicted with insomnia shall become amenable to the law for projecting, with all the vim of a boomerang-thrower, the boot-jack on a parabolic whizz at his midnight tormentor. As a licensed quadruped, the cat should certainly enjoy certain immunities; and it is not going too far to say that he should be legally protected inst the onslaughts of the licensed dog that regards the tabby as his legitimate quarry, whether he wears a collar or not. But the cat’s natural melody should be curbed as far as possible, with the exception of the musical relation he bears to the violin when the bow seesaws gracefully on his pasteurized intestines. The cat should be proud and happy in being no longer a four-footed but a creature that may purr in sweetest content to the accompaniment of the sizzling tea-kettle, and feel that the friendliest relations. been established with the natives of the state that is now considering the advisibility of making him, so to speak, a certified cat. (CHICAGO iis likely to rival Boston in the matter of recognizing sterling merit in apparently silly fads and foibles. And it seems only con- sistent that the fad that flourishes in the town cf beans should likewise thrive in the metropolis of pork. The wind-swept city by the lake is now busily engaged in the practice of the Christian Vaudeville Cure. Whether it is a remedy to cure sick people by practicing the vaudeville cur: on them, or a school created for the purpose of ccring people of the vaudeville habit, is not quite clear. The Christian Vaudeville Cure may in time have a rival in the Jewish Vaudeville Cure, and if Chicago should secure the Semetic fad also, which is not likely on account of her pronounced porcine idolatry, she should receive the congratulations of Boston on the strength of a tri- umph that may be but one of a number of stepping-stones to the formation of a Chaucer club. WHETHER one chews or eschews pie, the fact still remains that a fond- ness for or an aversion to this disc of joy is largely a matter of environ- ment, although an inscrutable love of pie is born in many. In such people, who are simply habitual pie-eaters, the craving is a disease which, to put it mildly, is a form of insanity like unto that which possesses a man who loves to look upon the Maraschino cherry when it is red beneath the bosom of the ante-prandial cocktail. Pie has been greatly abused, and it is true that its fair name and fame have been besmirched by many an unhallowed criticism, But the laurel of enduring fame will remain untarnished upon its brow until the end of time. Pie is an enchanter and an enslaver. It is both material and ethereal, inasmuch as it establishes friendly relations be- tween the stomach and the soul, filling the one and gilding the other with a joy that is, alas! only too brief and evanescent. It inspired Emerson, who rose with the lark to place himself under its benign influence, and who probably fancied that it came to him through the rosy portal of the east on the horseless car of Pharbus. And even as it was enjoyed by so appre- ciative and discriminating a mental lotos-eater as the Sage of Concord, so was it relished by another great American, the late P. T. Barnum, the Hearst of the show-business. And now it is vulgarly dubbed“ commercial pie,”’ owing to the fact that some eccentric statistician has discovered that two hundred thousand of these disci, hand and machine-made, are disposed of and engulfed daily in New York City alone. To say that it is commercial is really a compliment to its popularity and a tribute to red traditions. It has a special representative for each season of the year, and several that Il seasons for their own. To put it loosely, Pomona and Ceres pre- er the destinies of Pie, one supplying the crampless apple and the other the superficial structure known as the crust, or envelope. Pie is an American institution, and the man who looks upon it with favor is iot that the land may well be proud of. It may seem like sacrilege and idolatry to quote the language of at certain high priest of pie, who said that when- ever a new kind is discovered or invented another star should be added to the flag. Fully appreciating the poetic beauty of Shelly’s brief but peerless comparison when he paid architecture the highest compliment it has yet re- ceived, let us say, while we doff our hat and salaam, that pie—especially the predigested pie of oll New England—is baked music. HIS NUMBER. Rupert Haroto—** | don't know. Rupert—"' Well, i: “Do you think she will accept you?” She has a dozen other suitors besides me.”* are the thirteenth ycu will probably be the ons to get her."* comicbooks.com