Judge, 1902-03-08 · page 6 of 16
Judge — March 8, 1902 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple unrelated jokes typical of Judge magazine's satirical format. **"Gym and Gin"** mocks the contradictory behavior of a drinker who exercises to combat alcohol's effects, then immediately returns to drinking—a circular logic exposing self-deception about addiction. **"A Reasonable Conclusion"** is a children's riddle joke with no political content. **"Thoroughly Appreciated"** satirizes inattentive churchgoers: the father falls asleep repeatedly during services, requiring his wife to jab him awake with pins—commentary on obligatory religious attendance without genuine piety. **"A Test Desirable"** jokes about premarital quarrels as necessary to establish marital independence. **"A Disappointment"** uses a shopkeeper's sardonic response ("age of miracles is past") to mock impossible consumer demands—comfort and style in shoes being presented as mutually exclusive. **"Ready Wit"** and **"A Profitable Sign"** are brief absurdist visual gags with minimal satirical content. The page reflects early 20th-century middle-class concerns: alcoholism, church hypocrisy, marriage dynamics, and consumer culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
GYM AND GIN. | SWING the clubs and hammer The bag till badly blown. To knock out old John Barleycorn, That claims me for his own. And then with ten-pound dumb-bells T boil and tear and rip, Until with perspiration T Kun, trickic, flow and drip. And when Tam exhausted My ulster big I don. And smoke a dozen cigarettes And hit the demijohn. Drink drives me to gymnastics, And, furthermore, [think Gymnastics drive me fiercely on And on and on to drink. So I will keep on drinking Until my throat is sore, And give WILLING TO PLEASE. A REASONABLE CONCLUSION. Mr. Meovers—" Yes. it's a tony hat, but it's too blamed big. It comes down over Tommy—« Isn't the house-dog a dog for the house ? my eyes. f Fs Ma. Conensurcer—" Rachel, ged der scissors, qvick, und cut der chentlemuns two Manna— He is. ie eye-holes in his hat! Tommy —* Then isn’t a flat fish a fish for the flat?” A TEST DESIRABLE. The fiancee—"George and [ have never had a quar- rel.” Her friend — Ob, Vthink you ought to have one before you are married, Otherwise you can't be"guite sure whether you are going to have your own way oF not.” Jack—* Do you think she still loves you as much as when you married her 2" hp Be Tom—"1 don't know. | ih was too much in love with her THOROUGHLY APPRECIATED... at that time to be able to Minister—"* Well, my boy, | hope you enjoyed the services this morning ?’ : 1 Boy—"* Yes, sir. Pop fell asleep six times, and ma had to stick a pin into him each tinie to make him wake up.” tell, A DISAPPOINTMENT. Shopper—\ want a shoe that is both comfortable and stylish.” Salesman—"Very sorry, madam, but the age of miracles is past.” READY WIT. A PROFITABLE SIGN. Mr. Adjutant Bird, having an architectural drawing to make, and being eR ( jubilantly)—" Great idea of mine, planting that sign. Keeps unable to find his compasses, devises an excellent substitute. anglers off the best pickerel spot on the lake. Whcop!"* comicbooks.com