Judge — March 8, 1902 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE PIANO-PLAYER. I'm the wooden Paderewski, not so pom- pous but as stiffski, tearing off the soulful scherzo when I'm up against the game Allegrettos, obligato: catos, are all Gre you'll find I get there just the same. { can drill holes in Lamperti old Wagner look like thirty’ cents, and Mendelssohn feel like a piece of soap when _wash-day’s done. Gounod, Schumann and. Tschaikowsky, Donizetti_and Moszkowsky, let me tell you then and nowsky, I can rip cach son of a gun Coon-songs, barcarolles. cantatas, tellas, fugues, sonatas — the : things that I can casily manipulate OK But the woes that make me weary me Chinese beri-beri—are th dollar rattle-traps on w1 forced to play. —American taran- sixty- h Um Art Fournal, A SWEET BREATH FROM SUN-KISSED FIELDS OF GOLDEN GRAIN. Uf toca} dealers cannot supply it, address the distillers, BERNHEIM BROS., Louisville, Ky. APerfect Paper Pattern of this New Blowe Waist © you sure it is really and truly she asked. | sitive,” answered the practical ang man, who had just proposed. “I “Tested it?" “Yes. [doctored myself for indiges- tion for two weeks before definitely de- ciding just what the symptoms meant.” —Chicago Most LOOD POISON 4025 BLOUSE WAIST. 327040 BUST. Mailed to any address in the United States for 40 cents (foreign, 15 cents). State size wanted and write address plainly. SMART STYLES 132 B, 23D STREET : NEW YOPK Primary. reed or Permanently Cured, Tertiary Blood Poison | sn he treat pre ota, ay part of the body. Hatt or Ryenrows faiiog oe COOK REMEDY Co. 1480 Masonte Temp! proofs of cures Gapttal. $200.00 foiatinate case voveures t i 18 co 33 Guyer 10 na Book Free Sere Pores OTN Tap | compilation in be THE WIT & HUMOR OF A NATION IN PICTURE. SONG & STORY of noted artists and humorists. Complete in one volume of over The book is beauti- fully cloth, 250 pages bound in with title stamped in white, and with gold edges, IT CONTAINS OVER 3,000 ILLUSTRATIONS by the following best-known artists and caricaturists Hamilton Flohri “B.B.” Baker Peter Newell Greening Fredericks “Zim” Griffin Sydney Adamson F. Nankivel Werner “Gus” Dirk Stanlaws Gillam T.S, Sullivant JM. Flagg Daggy and Fithian — Outcault._ J. H. Smith GESchultze Anderson Art Young ITS POEMS, STORIES, AND WITTICISMS Seer aie ack W. J. Lampton ” Madeline S. Beidges Tom Masson Edwin L, Sabin R. K. Munkittrick W. D. Nesbitt Henry Tyrrell and Carolyn Wells 1 lok specially for the library and for the home circle, picture and y PRICE, $2.00 PER COPY ve Pub NEW YORK ie CARICATURE ve and generally for Seat by expe JUDGE COMPANY, ss in the United States hy 110 FIFTH AVE., hers, MR. TELLIT ON ENTERTAINING ROYALTY. By W. D. Nesbit. OW do you pronounce *H-0-c-h?"”” asked Mrs. Tellit, looking up from the paper. “What?” asked Mr. Tellit, pausing in the operation of stuffing some tobacco into his pipe. * How do you pronounce *H-0-c-h?"” “Well, some people say it as if they were yelling at Hoke Smith, and others get a sort of a cleft-palate effect on the tail end of it. But why do you as| * Because the paper says that it will be the proper way to salute Prince Henry when he comes | “Oh, the paper says so, does it? Well, if you are going to believe everything you sce in the paper you'll be calling for a rag- | lan effect to your straight jacket in about two months. There's a whole lot of tom- foolery about this visit of the Prince, anyway. Some people act as if he were a long-haired piano-pounder, and_ the were a lot of school-girls with matin tic It’s all right for the Prince to \come over here and see the country. It will do him good. It will do anybody good. Why can’t they let him come and look it over quietly, flocking around him like a bunch of real-estate Jagents in a de-boomed town when a guile- less stranger roams in in response to a last |year's ad “Why, my d “Yes, you are the rest of them y ‘Hoch, without Tam not—" You are just like all Want to know how to do you? And you did right in asking me about it. I’m the one to tell you ery husband who is any kind of a husband at all ought to be a course-of- | German-in-six~ ling wife sy-lessons for his trust- It is worrying a lot of people in this country who have been put on the reception committees to know when to WELCOME TO By Ieaac RESOLUTIONS adopted at a mass- meeting of the citizens of Homicide | Corners, Arizona Wueras it has come to our knowledge that a foreign potentate by the of Hank Hohenzollern is about to visit | these here shores for the purpose ing his brother and Wuereas we have been told that this same Hank Hohenzollern is a good feller and a dead and w . the citizens of Homicide |Comers want to do our share giving Hank a good time EREFORE, |aforesaid Hoh hereby is, ed to our shore: we hopes as how he'll enjoy himself Furtuermore, ne tt REsoLven that we don’t bear Hank no ill will on account of his brother. Bill is sorter inclined to put on too much dog sometimes, but Hank ain't to blame for that name see- Bill's: yacht launched, me sport EREAS we towards se iT Resotvep that the k wel ollern be. © fied to write sidestep, and how far to back the band “Mein Vate whether to s glad to see him, or to kotow a few t And it is worrying a whole lot mor cause th ¢ not on the committee Mrs. Tellit looked as if she were that she had said anything, but Mr went on “And what will be the result? fun is the prince going to hav Nota bit. Think because ber of a royal family that it is nec to fill him full of salad and boned ch and pate de foie gras and pumperr and take him around and show hin city hall and the oldest in! it spring a lot of stale oratory on him. « compel him to smile at the mayo the jim-crow towns in the Smile? He ought to hoot! Why: he goes back home, he will be fully book on * Railway Sti I Have Met." 1 wouldn't blame h bit for asserting that America was vom posed of depots and city halls. It be just like some fool conductor Train stops here only long eno hand out some presents!’ And thir the he hanging around ing when they packages of Huh! And Mr. Tellit struck a match on his trousers and applied it to his pipe Well," said Mrs, Tellit, * worry about it if 1 were train will stop here and will arrive owds of eminent sta Xpet are going to ope: gifts for prominent citizens 1 wouldn't you, for only ten minutes, at seven o'clock to-mor- his row morning.” at evening she saw Mr. Tellit 1g the alarm clock for 5:30 PRINCE HENRY. Inder som, Likewise, pe it Resotven that Hank Hohenzollern be, and hereby is. to come to Homicide here as long pense of the stood that ¢ only whisky straight Be it rurtHeR Resotven that we do hereby solemnly promise not to shoot at Hank under no circumstances. provided that he don’t disturb the p invited Corners and stay as he der pleases at the ex- t being under- ampagne don't go here, but community © and quiet of this law-abiding community by wear- ing a plug hat on the streets. Lastiy, ne it Resotven that if Hank during his visit here, tries to bust bron y poker with Four-flush Phil decline to be responsible for that or to pl res| wny international complications ay arise BorLep-siirt Powers Sawep-orr Suit Doe. Perers New York and Hoboken papers please copy ¢ Committee HER IMPRESSION. s] AND sa L who was reading the paper, “these New York people seem to want to let the . said Mrs. Meddergrass, honors go ‘round a-plenty |that Mr. Pynke-Hayre will lead the Ger at Mrs V\ and Mr. Hatt Shotte will lead the German at Mrs, Fayke Dimond’s; and Mr. Oylewelle will lead Here it says jman stor's: and Mr. at Mrs the German at Mrs. Hazabinn’s Nuclose will lead the Germ Soefatt’s, and goodness only knows bow many more is goin’ to lead him at ether places next week. Seems to me a if Prince Henry ought to be able to oct around without bein’ led, but 1s they all want to be seen in his comp’: comicbooks.com