Judge — February 8, 1902 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘THE OLD ART GUARD. An art write a ed preference tor See there in a row, with faces aglow, ‘The same dear old paintings above and below. ‘They're greased and they're glazed, An the gentle art lover is more than amazed. New Practical System for Developing and Perfecting the hovse said t. Why didnt you bein a Grease, grease when will it cease When will art, from the greasers, Of new life get a lease? ‘They pour on the gravy, now streaky, now wayyy, Till you wish they wereall in the locker of Davy- ‘They think from the start As cooking "s an art Surely art must be cooking-—and asting 's a the pith—Jones bastes, so does ung Brown and Robinson imitate Frith, s glaze, over glaze Yellow.green 's now the craze, ahad red it's next year we will gaze, and ** make tin bout, yw that the greaser ‘Il go on with She gives them a jar, So they make it all up aI Eoole des beaux Arts! Grease, grease, oh | when will it cease When will art, from the grea Of new life get a lease? ONE OF TERWHILLIGER’S YARNS. TERWHILLIGER told me this story as we lounged in the moonlight on the piazza of the big hotel at Palm beach. don't like to any 1 liar, espe-| cially a large man like Terwhilliger, but —well, here is the story. The | ne Twas up in Maine,” said Terwhilliger, “1 ran across. the queerest house you ever saw." Here 1 interrupted the narrative to call attention to the fact that, as Tha never been in Maine, and so had not seen the house in question, it could not pos: sibly be the queerest house | had ever seen, though I was quite willing to be- lieve that it was more remarkable th: anything [had ever laid eyes TE knew this remark would irritate Terwhilliger, and I hoped that it would make him for- get all about the story, but it was no use. You can't stop him when he gets started on one of his yarns. “This house,” he continued, pre- tending not to notice the interruption, * stood in the middle of a small clearing. It was only two stories high, but the floor of the lower story was some eight or nine feet above the ground, giving the house the appearance of standing on stilts, On the ground underneath, a young man was puttering about with some carpenter's tools and a lot of lumber. Just in order to be sociable, | asked him what he was doing. ++ I'm just figurin’ on addin’ another story to this house,’ was his reply. | t*Don’t you think it’s high enough | now ?' I asked. EMORY TRAINING 22Se22e20- said he. ‘This story’s goin’ to be « nthe bottom, That's a funny way to build 4 the bottom in the first place 2° Memory Discovered by an Indiana Student-Business “eT didn’t have nuthin’ to do with Man. Is Rapidly Becoming the Wonder of the beginnin’ of it, stranger. My gra : | father began to build this house lon: Twentieth Century Progress. fore I was born.” “Why didn’t he begin at the bor. tom, then?" Needed by All, Possessed by So Few, a Good Reliable Memory Is the tHe did! Key to Success. Anywhere, Everywhere, the Person Having 9“ * But you said ’—— ‘ | s+Wait a minute before you ‘cuse the Best Memory Rises to the Top. me o' lyin’. My grandfather built the first story of this house, my father built PARTICULARS FREE TO ALL WHO WRITE, [Ue {cond and Him Just Peginnin’ the third." ‘ ‘I don't quite understand.’ “+ Well, now, look here, and I'll ex. plain it to you. When my grandfather built that top story there, it was on the ground.’ “+Then how did it get ‘way up there ?° + Easy enough. It just growed, See them four corner posts there, that house rests on? Well, them 's trees.” “+ Trees! Impossible !" “*Yes, trees. The limbs has all heen trimmed off and the trunks squared, but the trees kept right on growin’ just Ui, ; \ [the same, Of course the house haul to go HM) jf up with ‘em, so after a while there was MY room for another story underneath. My father built it and went to housekcepin’ He'd just been married, and this was h weddin’ present. The trees kept ri growin’ some more, and now I'm build the third story. When I I'll get married and move in.’ “It's quite a remarkable house,’ said 1. It is that,’ said he. «There's only one thing that bothers me." iQ y) és =" And what is that ? \ ey + Do you see how the upper st Mb Z a tilt up at this corner? That's ‘cause this tree grows faster than the others. | D. F. Urbahns. a ; , jdon’t know what makes it, but it does. if Tallow for that in the beginnin’ you in any way ‘are questions worthy of ['ll have to make this corner lower than a s er that a aystem is now being used which the others. Then, by the time I get old, uit a simple ps a these serious obstacles t ced. is “there to hesitate? Any My part of the house will be straight mapel in Fore, Wayne willbe glad’ to teit what But if T make it straight now i il get honesty of purpose are unquestioned Te Wore crookeder and crookeder all the time vared to furnish plenty of evidence as to the value | Now, what would you do in a case like an i oe seem that any one whe, feels the that ? thi thie Just then somebody asked Terwhilli 2 sy sel yur ane ger to have a drink, and I escaped before rgetting « set of figures or a business appoint idress to Mr. D. F. Urbahns, 103 Bass Block. je ¢, fi c. ma ever low al by forgetting nd and ¢| information he could finish the tale. ra area will be forwaried to. you fre by re requested to write without delay IN THE CLUB CAR. Crabshaw —"1 tell you we cant A COMMON VARIETY. afford it.” Squib—“ How did you come to print my boarding-house joke upside down ?” Mrs. Crabshaw—"If we could, my Editor—* Because the question was funnier than the answe dear, | wouldn't care two cents for i AN AGREEABLE STIMULANT, TONES UP A WEAK ST ACUP ON RETIRING RELIEVES INSOMNIA ‘AT ALL DRINKING PLACES ~ SOLD “IN-BC ARMOUR <,COMPANY. comicbooks.com