Judge — February 1, 1902 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“THE LIFE-SAVER” KEEPS THE HOME SWEET AND CLEAN AND THE BODY IN HEALTH AND FREE FROM INFECTIOUS DISEASE. “1 would not be without Lifebuoy Soap in the house. I use it every where throughout the household, and for thorough cleansing I have never seen anything to equal it.” Houstow, 49 Liberty St., Bridgeport, Conn, | | HE SHIFTED TOO FAR. | Duer (by Wiliie and Edith) — + Yum-yum — tootsie- i ie wootsie—goo-goo !"* lal al Eorn—" Papa 's coming! Move to the other end of the sofa!” Ht Tableau!!! The Twenty-five Years of Experience in the construction of writing machines, which are behind the Remington Typewriter, mean everything to the purchaser. He knows that he Is getting a reliable machine when he buys a REMINGTON A FIGHT TO A FINISH. A snake caught a rabbit he happened to meet One day when out hunting for something to eat. But before he had Bunny quite ready to die wother snake, hungry, came sauntering by. + Oho!" he remarked, “I am lucky to-day,’ And went for the other without more delay. The first snake was angry, of course, and he dropped ‘The rabbit as soon as the other had stopped. ‘The rabbit was frightened so badly that he Just sat there and waited to see what he'd see. ‘The battle began in a hurry, and what It was like in a minute might well be called hot. A snake is a fighter, however unskilled, And when he goes in it’s to kill or be killed. ‘They wrestled each other, they fought and they fit, ‘They twirled and they twisted, they squirmed and they bit. They hugged and they hammered—and, watching the fight, ‘The rabbit was moveless and speechless with fright. ‘They backed and they filled like ships under sail, Each anxious to grapple the other one’s tail, At last they succeeded at one and the same ‘Time, and went at it to finish the game. But scarcely by slugging, for that doesn't go With ophidians when they can swallow a foe. With tail-holds esiablished, cach reptile began ‘To swallow the other from rear-guard to van, Alsorbed in its labor, each serpent was blind ‘To what was occurring so closely behind ; Until in a moment they came face to face, And then for an instant they paused in their pace. But only an instant ; then, straining their might, ‘They swallowed each other, which finished the fight. And the rabbit exclaimed, as a From the scene of the conflic slow he turned Well, well, I'll be derned !" WILLIAM J. LASITON. FATAL OVERSIGHT. By W. D. Nesit se YOU are discharged,” growled the city editor to the new reporter. “Bebut why, sir?" stammered the ride a horse, had foiled a burglar in home, had saved a train from | wrecked, spoke in eight languages and a unfortunate youth, smitten to the core at seeing his hopes of being a real journalist thus rudely dashed to the ground. “Didn't you write this story about Miss Lizette Hyggyns going on the sir.” “Well, you fell down on it, and you can go to the cashier and get your princely salary.” “ But, the story ? ir, what can be wrong with Did I not say that she was | beautiful, cultured, had a fondness for literature, had composed music, was an artist at the chafing-dish, and with the palette and easel also, has posed for ten series of Jibson girls, was an expert golf- player, could run an automobile, could wrote in six, exclusive of the typewrit and expected to play ¢ Jul season?” “Yes, that part was all right, but when it came to the crucial point you failed. What was that, sir?” In no part of the story do you say that ¢ Miss Hyggyns is a member of one of the leading families,’ and that * so: is tingling with surprise and expectation because of her forthcoming debut be! the footlights !"" Then, indeed, the new reporter knew . that the case was hopeless, for this mistake was as fatal as to forget to men- tion the “sea of faces” at a mass mect- ing. rind x A VALID OBJECTION. First Harlemite- Second Harlemite— That's so. One of the objections to three-cent fares on the clevaiet is that people dislike to be bothered counting out pennies and waiting for ch They ought to make it two for five. ng. GOOD CAUSE FOR DISGUST. First Filipino husband— I'm getting sick of this Americanizing bus ne I wish the Americans had let us alone.” Second Filipino husband— First Filipino husband— I'm surprised. Why 2” I didn’t kick when my wife took to wearing clothes and gave up betel-nut for tobacco, but I can't stand for her latest She has distributed a monte deck, which it took me three days to mark, arou neighborhood for calling-cards, and she has taken all my cock-fighting gaffs manicure-set.” comicbooks.com