Judge — January 25, 1902 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

INSIST ON NOVENA RYE 4 Pure Old Whiskey, that Tickles the Palate and Stimulates Send_name tof Department J and receive the handsome book “After - Dinner Storles*? Free, by EAGLE EAGLE Ligue UR DISTILLERIES, ted S. CINCINNATI, RAIL ALLEY ROUTE OF THE BLACK DIAMOND EXPRESS THE GREAT DOUBLE TRACK SCENE MKGIMAY NEW YORK. PHILADELPHIA AND BUFFAL! NIAGARA FALLS. TORONTO, A compilation in book form of the best work of noted artists and humorists. Complete in one volume CARICATURE THE WIT & HUMOR OF A NATION IN PICTURE. SONG & STORY of over The book is beauti- fully bound ‘in cloth, with title stamped in white, and with gold ¢dges. 250 pages. IT CONTAINS OVER 1,000 ILLUSTRATIONS by the following best-known artists and caricaturists: Hamilton Flobri “B.B.” Baker Peter Newell Greening Fredericks “Zim” Griffin Sydney Adamson F,Nankivel Werner “Gus” Dirks Stanlaws Gillam T.S.Sullivant JM. Flagg Daggy and Fithian Outcault J, H. Smith CE Schultze Anderson Art Young ITS POEMS, STORIES, AND WITTICISMS are by writers such as W. J, Lampton ‘Tom Masson Edwin L, Sabin Madeline S. R Munkittrick W. D, Nesbitt Heary Tyrrell and Carolyn We “CARICATURE” isa ok specially for the library and for the home circle, and generally for every lover of fun in picture and prose. PRICE, $2.00 PER COPY ‘Sent by express, prepaid, to any address in the United States by the Publishers, JUDGE COMPANY, 110 FIFTH AVE., NEW YORK HOW THE ORNITHORHYNCHUS CAME TO LAY EGGS. (With apologies to Mr. Kipling.) r WAS morning, Best Beloved, in Australia; stone of a cherry is outside. marge of a river. wriggled into their company. goose waddled forth from the dewy shadows. ‘The purpose of their meeting was this : through the forests and over the plains and waters of the earth. "| before | Finall zest. Everywhere the game of finding what was the fittest that should survive |had palled. A nor for something new had arisen ; some diversion ; above all, something novel that might live and furnish endless amusement. So the lion, the turtle, the rattlesnake, and the goose had been chosen to meet and determine what this novelty should be. You will not wonder, | am sure, that the lion had been sent by his kind, nor that the beaver, the turtle and the rattlesnake had been chosen ; but you will no doubt question the choice of the goose. But, the beaver | Best Beloved, if you will cast about you a keen perception of the influences that elevate individuals to distinction, you will behold this far-away goose as a fore- rune L ted the chair, it was decided that they should construct an animal that would give universal amusement. * What shall we make it of 7” > having appropri inquired the rattlesnake. 'm sure | haven't the slightest id “Of mud,” said the beaver, This being approved, the 1, that from this oc * replied the goose. and I'll soon have plenty of it.” beaver set to work. You should know, Best jon sprang the saying “working like a beaver.” He would have landed enough mud to construct a mastodon if Leo had not grown “Tl oversee the construction,” Leo went on, “wanted that place for myself,” said the rattlesnake. “TIL oversee the construction,” the lion repeated ; and gave orders that a kid be brought, and when the spectators had done so he proceeded to refresh the inner lion while his co-delegates gave their attention to the mud. By high noon the creature was fully fashioned, but the lion, while internally discussing the kid, slept so impressively that no one had the heart to wake him. he rose to his haunches and cast his eyes at the work of the committee. , “It's a mite of a thing, and I suppose it will have to do, but you didn’t get any lion into it After examining it he ss No,” explained the turtle, who was slow under his raw material for combs, but wily elsewhere. “This creature is made for amusement. If we had put lion into it, it would have been an affront to your dignil Whereupon, Best Belove . the lion approved the paw-craft of his associates. While they were discussing how to make the amuser amuse, an Australian came and, examining the animal, asked what it was for and when told he said, Well, it certainly will amuse you. It’s an ornithorhynchus.” How do you know demanded the lion. it is?” Did you ever see one “No,” answered the native. «There never, has been such an animal even thought of, but that does not prevent me from knowing it is an ornithorhynchus.” snake, | Very well,” said the | it's an ornithorhynchus.” | IV's an ornithorhynchu: the lion, and the discussion closed. | ‘ow, if you wish this ornithorhynchus to live and amuse you,” advised, * each’of you must breathe into its mouth a trifle rattled: “If it’s an ornithorhynchus, the native the land where the south wind blows cold, the north wind hot, the stem of a pear is on the thick end, and the From the forest a lion stalked out upon the sandy Presently a turtle gurgled out of the current, and a rattlesnake A beaver swam to them from an island, and a A soul-deadening monotony had spread Life had lost its | The delegates blew their breath into the mouth of the ornithorhynchus. Forthwith the mud turned to flesh and the creature walked. Whereupon a |mighty cheer arose from the assembly, followed by laughter; for, though the |creature had not yet done anything humorous, every one had come expecting }to laugh and he was determined to laugh; and, as none of them had ever seen | an ornithorhynchus, it was funny just to think what such a creature might do. | Now, Best Beloved, the ornithorhynchus moved about, followed by shouts of merriment. Suddenly it was seized with convulsions. ‘Looking nervously about, it waddled toward a hill of sand beneath a palm. A fawn, too curious, impeded its course, and the ornithorhynchus struck it with its fore paw, Instantly the fawn jsank, to the sand and began to swell. “Ana!” exulted the snake, “I puta poisoned fang into the creature's front paw. If had known it was an ornithorhynchus I'd have put in three more, for the more fangs the funnier life is.” «Just like you,” growled the lion, “to put snake into an ornithorhynchus and leave out all the lion. Meanwhile the ornithorhynchus had sat down under the palm. For some moments it writhed there in pain; then was itself again. The beaver, the turtle, the rattlesnake and the goose hurried over where it had sat, and immediately burst into a roar of laughter, “ What is it?" dema “It has laid two eggs,” the beaver shouted. “What!” said the lion. « Eggs ?” “Yes,” said the native.“ Now I know it's an ornithorhynchus.”” “An animal laying eggs.” said the lion. Well, we certainly have succeeded, | fellow-committeemen. "This thing will be a lasting amusement. But who did it?* ““T put in the ornithorhynchus’s web feet and his fur,” said the beaver, « but not the eggs.” 5 “Ive already mentioned my fang,” said the rattlesnake. +L made the ornithorhynchus amphibious,” said the turtle. | ‘Then there was silence; and the lion, turning around, said, “It’s up to you, goose.” The goose waddled about, stuttering, but at last confessed. | “T.guess I did it. I got through putting in the ornithorhynchus’s bill so soon that I'wanted to do'sometbing elec and | naturally. fixed it to lay eggs “Well; there’s no one but a goose that would be stupid enough to make an animal lay eggs.” said the lion. “Now we have two things to amuse us—the goose and the ornithorhynchus. But we had a narrow escape. I was so angry with you for not putting any lion into this ornithorhynchus that if it hadn't been for the kid I ate I would have put an ornithorhynchus into a lion.” And now, Best Beloved, when you see an animal or a snake or a bird or a turtle or other water creatute that seems to be amused, or see a goose that appears cast down and ashamed, he is thinking of an ornithorhynchus. OWARD WARKLE WOKE ded the lion, rushing over. 2 comicbooks.com