Judge, 1902-01-04 · page 8 of 20
Judge — January 4, 1902 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains multiple short comic vignettes satirizing early 20th-century social conventions and professional life: **"No Excursion"** mocks the absurdity of inheritance expectations—a man assumes his deceased neighbor took his entire family with him. **"Sage Advice"** critiques the theater industry: authors are told not to complicate plots because dramatization will strip them out anyway, suggesting theatrical adaptation was crude or simplistic. **"He Meant All Right"** plays on double meanings: a woman's comment about a musician "murdering" his accompaniments is misinterpreted as flattery about his skill. **"Hadn't Been Kissed Recently"** uses the metaphor of "printed kisses" on lips becoming "out of print"—a dated romantic conceit. **"Original Lady Barber"** references the biblical Delilah cutting Samson's hair, suggesting female barbers were novelties. The remaining vignettes joke about insurance fraud, marital financial dependency, and aging wives. Overall, the page reflects period attitudes toward gender roles, professional standards, and class dynamics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Here's my little winter girl, ‘She's a peach and she'sa pearl, And the sweet elusive thing That makes all my winter spring — For when at her side I stray I can only dream of May, Which, I trust, will hurry'up NO EXCURSION.. 44] SEE by the paper that Jones, who died yes- terday, left two sons and three daughters.” “Well, you didn’t expect him to take the whole family with him, did you ?” SAGE ADVICE, Manager—« Be careful not to make the plot of your novel too complicated.” Author—* Why not?” F Manager —" Well, you know before it is dramatized the plot will all have to be taken out.” HE MEANT ALL RIGHT. Miss Smith (to Mr. Dearborn, about to sing) —" Miss Jones will play your accompaniments, Mr. Dearborn.” Miss Jones (coyly)—"Oh, Mr. Dearborn plays his own ‘accompaniments so beautifully 1 couldn't murder them for him.” F Mr. Dearborn (gallantly) —“Oh, yes, you “ 4 could ! HADN'T BEEN KISSED RECENTLY. With its bird and buttercup And the happy day when | Shall annex her on the fly. In the meantime round I'll wing For the scads to buy the ring. Ella—«1 have had a good many kisses printed on my lips.” Stella —" But they're out of print now.” THE ORIGINAL LADY BARBER. Detitan (to Samson) —* Shampoo, sir ?"* NO CHANCE FOR A FIRE. “said the traveler, “live in houses made of solid “ Mine gracious !" said Burnupski, “how do they ever make deir insurance come due 2” A FAMILY AFFAIR. Moneybags — You shouldn't come to your father-in-law like this and ask him to put you on your feet.” Impecune—* Why not? It was your daughter who put me on my uppers.” A POOR RULE, ETC. Lulu—* Fred says look just as I did fifteen years ago.” Ethel — Fred is right —filteen years ago you looked just as you do now.” ¥ xX WRI Cn FA HARD TO GET. Mrs. Bentam—" What shall we get mother for her birthday ?”” Bennam —* Get her hore, if we can.”” comicbooks.com