Judge — December 28, 1901 — page 37: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MR. HINNIGAN'S VIEW OF CHRISTMAS. HIS are a great sayson av th’ yeer,” remarked Mr, Hinnigan to his friend Flinnigan, as he shook the accumulated snowflakes from his raglan overcoat and elevated his fe t in a comfortable position on the four-dollar-ninety-cight range which Flinnigan had brought home in a wheelbarrow ornamented with evergreen wreaths, greatly to the delight of his spouse. “As Oi wor sayin’, Flinnigan,” con- tinued Mr. Hinnigan, th’ hollydays are a grand cilibration. This are th’ toime av year whin th’ tinder youth av th’ pine npytated furnish ornymints fer th’ parlers. As Oi kem down th’ shtrate, pickin’ me way bechune th’ groves av fant monarchs ay th’ woods cut off in th’ lower av their youth, " f ane : Tue etackinc-rorme 07 filt loike Oi wor in th’ wilds av th’ Addyrondacks. Oi almost Me sine forest are A BAD TIME. * What are the numerals running for ?"* The clock's just struck one.” ixpicted U hov a squirl dart bechune me ligs, er a pa'tridge knock me hat off be thryi "t'fly too close t' me head. An’ th’ shtore-windies, Flinnigan, U tell th paper, wid roses in th’ carner av ivery shate, whi trooth, th’ whole trooth, an’ nothin’ but th’ facts, glitter loike Parrydise itsilf, wid their rid, whoite an’ blue ca th’ ton, their Uys fer th’ kids, an’ their loads a man, wid his brist full t' overflowin’ wid Chris'mus che they moight betther hoy a coorse in a noight- v fancy artickles fer school. Think av th’ shmall byes wid ventilated ran’ a pocket-book — sates in their p: ndy b th’ onsuspectin nts gittin’ foire-e! es an’ rail- road trains be th’ ton, Think av th’ host av folks. givin’ other payple what they want thimsilves an’ gittin’ from other payple what they don’t want an’ niver will want. + But it's a grand occasion, Flinnigan, an’ far be it frum me tutter wan syllabh in crityeism ay it, Lasht yeer Oi wor presinted wid a bootiful- covered book. ‘Th’ cover alone wud shame th’ rainbow an’ warn th’ rayder U provoide himsilt wid a pair av shmoked specs.” «An what wor th’ hook on?” queried un, “+ Whin Moike Hood Were in Flower.” . « An’ who's Moike Hood ?” asked Flinn «igin’ frum th’ title av th’ book, he wor a ambele: an, n’ the vollum rayfers t'th'spishel toime whin he wor shpikelaytin’ in flour, Oi shup- pose he wor wan av thim Chicago cornerers.” * An’ why don't yez foind out ? » Well, Flinnigan,” concluded Mr. Hinni “some foine day, whin Oi brake me lig or me arm, or git laid up wid appendyceetus, OF'll take a gud look bechune th’ covers; an’ thin O/'IL take me pin in band an’ wroite th’ follyin’ inscription : +T' me dear frind an’ silent: philosopher, Moike Flinnigan. Merry Chris’mus.” vs woxre watprox. Long 4W& THE fu ARTISTIC: THE CHRISTMAS TURKEY DRAWS A CARTOON. sadly rajooced in th’ mather av avordupois. It are foony, Flinnigan, how th' avridge individoo hekims th’ vie nay mintil demenshia at this toime av th’ yeer, Th’ milk av human koindness seems t' come in bar'ls inshtid av boockets. very body are daytermined (' spind his last cint to buy grand things fer th’ other felly. “Incidintally, they tell me Sandy Claws are a German institooshun ; but in all me ixperience him comin’ down th’ chimney sing- in’+ Hock th’ kaiser,’ an’ Oi am av th’ opinion thot he shpakes as OF niver b ood Oirish whin he chooses as old Dinny Mulligan’s grate-grandfather, who said he had it frum gud authority thot $ . Nick spint his byhood days in th’ vicinity av th’ Blarney shtone. “As Oi wor say “linnigan, Chris'mus are a grate occasion. Niyt t’ a weddin’, it hates th’ Foorth av Joo-lye, hands tied an’ wan fut lame. Think av all th’ happy payple wakin’ up shiverin’ in th’ marnin’ an’ pullin’ sterlin’ silver button. hooks frum their stockin’s through th’ holes in th’ heels, notwithstandin’ th’ fact thot they wear lace shoes. Think av th’ man what recaves a shmok- in’-sit_ whin he niver uses th’ wade, barrin’ an occasional boite av ploog. Think av th’ young wimmin what gits whole boxes ay vi'let_ note: A JACK KNIFE. comicbooks.com