Judge — December 7, 1901 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT THE JUDGE BUILDING, 110 FIFTH AVENUK, NEW YORK. Terms to Subscribers. * UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN />VANCE. Ove copy, one year, or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, of 26 numbers - 2.50 ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks = + = 35 Including the CuKIsTsAs ding, Chancery ane aarbach's news exchanges, Mains, States and Great Britain. rd. scripts, we the sender's fll spanying joke or icture, and KOT required, HE SNOWFLAKE, dainty little star, Whirls gayly round the ashen bough, The wild wind moans And snores and groans, The rooster roosts upon the cow, While sphinx-like, in a joy full-blown, The sceptred sausage holds the throne. eee RUSSIA is threatened with a famine, owing to the reported failure of the crops. The Russian Jews, though enthusiastic and jubilant over this failure, which does not mean the pay- WHS | VSS ANY. ment of anything LY N Se Ne on the dollar, are y TP efi ee still worried over SAS the prospect of a possible bread riot. Let us express the fervent wish that Russia may succeed in laying in a suffi- cient quantity of American flour to avert such a catas- trophe—a catas- : trophe which would S be all the harder for Tar \ | SS ~ =S \ her to bear, inas- a, sth Ate much a8 the Rus- H cay) NP sian, so handicap- Mh, 0 NE ped, could not tell Uf , 4 which side his bread was candled on, be= cause there would be no bread to spring the revel: tion. Uncle Sam is always ready to supply flour to any famine-stricken country, and he will doubtless see to it that Russia is not, figuratively speaking, left out in the cold. It would grieve him to see the Russian deprived of his meridian candle sandwich, and compelled to eat his candle straight, as he eats his banana. ‘And yet we trust that Uncle Sam will keep enough flour in his own bins to prevent an angel-cake famine in our higher circles, and to make such a thing asa pie riot in New England an utter impos ity. eee White on these frosty days. The jays Squawk loud their matin pow-wow A blanket red is wound Around The spry unsausaged bow-wow; And while with soul ’s adream We beam Upon the piping 4o¢ pie, The rabbit 's on the skip To siip The hunter of the pot-pie. 0) }) w Gu thee CONSTERNATION IN BUGVILLE. Farmer Buo—" By hookey! {f them infernal thieves ain't usin’ our caterpillar cattle fer bait.” 'HE OLDEST INHABITANT now discourses.at great length on the signs which, according to his observations, determine the character of the approaching winter. The words of this philosopher and seer with ref- erence to the various antics of the muskrat, the squirrel and the bear, and their subtle meteoric meaning, are being listened to and dwelt upon and turned over in the mind of the average layman to such an extent that local papers honor his forecasts made on the grocery cracker barrel with respect- ful consideration, on account of their general interest for the common reader and their rare commercial value for the dealer who is puzzled as regards size of the stock of snow-shovels he should or should not lay in. eee THE AMERICAN ORNITHOLOGICAL UNION has just held its annual convention, and, according to its reports, has done much to help the cause of wild-bird protection, especially that of the sea-bird. The union has been enabled to accomplish this good work through the instru- mentality of the Thayer fund and the generosity of contributors. These contributions have placed the enthusiastic ornithologists in a position to employ janitors to preside over the destinies of the many breeding-places along the coast, and to patrol the islands where the birds do business and have their being, and to see to it that the feathered bipeds are not trans- lated into bonnet-decorations and stuffed for the idyllic mantel-piece trade. On the subject of the national bird protection a well-known member of the United States Biological Survey, strangely enough, said nothing about pro- tecting the national bird, probably believing that this glorious minstrel is thoroughly capable of taking care of himself. One of the most interesting papers had for a subject, “‘Are humming-birds cypseloid or caprimulgoid?”” We regret to say that the question was not decided, and that we must be Content to remain in ignorance on this important points. Probably the hum- ming-bird himself does not know, and is not losing any sleep over the mooted question so long as his appetite is normal and he does not have to attempt to satisfy it on paper carnations scented with cologne. If he is sat- isfied we cannot see why science should bother about it, when society is doing its best to prevail over the ravages of a pumpkin famine. eee WEA YY SQUIRREL \ VAY ‘Al is busily engaged in \\ laying up nuts fora snowy day a cer- tain Chicago trust is gathering unto itself all the eggs that it can gather together, to the end that it may eventu- ally corner the mar- ket and create a demand for eggs, probably by putting a fancy price on ‘them—a price that will in itself entitle them to favorable consideration in the highest canvas- back and terrapin circles of society. It will be evident to all thinking peo- ple that each and every egg so corral- led and put in trust will keep even long- er than a tar-balled secret, when it is said that they are to be preserved by freezing. This process does not seem so absurd, ‘on sober second thought, when it is considered that even a chicken may be frozen and kept for an indefinite period, that its youth and tender- ness may also be preserved; for it cannot age or become tougher after the Reaper has once put his relentless hand upon it. The eggs so preserved are certain to retain all their quality of youthful friskiness and elasticity and not to become stale, flat, or unprofitable. They should also become sufficiently hard to be available as projectiles that could be used over and over again on any one who, through some misdemeanor or short-coming, might be deserving of so severe treatment. As cold contracts, it is to be hoped that the Chicago speculators have made their calculations accord- ingly. Suppose. for instance, that one hundred eggs should contract in a month of continuous freezing to ninety! That would mean a cold loss of ten per cent. And suppose that they should go on contracting at the same rate until, at the end of the tenth moon, there would be nothing left? Chi- cago speculators, as a rule, are pretty sharp and far-sighted, and it is there- fore difficult to believe that they have not made calculations to cover all possible contingencies and make it impossible for any Eastern philosopher to point the finger of scorn and exhort them never to count their profits before the eggs are sold. HILE THE comicbooks.com