Judge — December 7, 1901 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

4KODAK Christmas is the Merriest Christmas. Amid the festivities of Christmas-tide one often finds the greatest charm of picture The children, the children’s tree, the visit at the old home, the flash-light at an evening gathering, the merry sleighing party, the home portraits of one’s friends—all these offer subjects that have a personal interest, that one cherishes more highly as the years taking. go by. “KODAK”? stands for all that is Best in Photography. Kodaks, $5.00 to $75.00. Brownie Cameras, $1.00 to $2.00. Caristmas Booklet free at the Dealers or by Matt EASTMAN KODAK CO, Rochester, N. Y. THE HOME ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE. “Say, Bill; yer mopin’ like a sick dog. W'ot’s eatin’ yu?" “Me woman ‘s dead." “Well, yu didn’t do nothin’ but cuss an’ abuse her when she was alive."” “ Dat's de trubble—ain't nobody to cuss and ‘buse now.” Produce each a disease having definite patholo gy. The disease yields easily to the Treatment as administered at the folowing Keeley Insti- of this treatment, and lie y of the insti ] AM not speaking from theory when I refer to the effects of the Keeley treat. ment. 1 speak from an ample experience — from the closest observation. ments made about the treatment being deleterious to health are all bosh. Tt is just exactly the contrary. T have seen these nervous, haggard, distressed-looking drunkards rom here. and, when reporting to me upon their return, Tdid not need (after observing the complete physical metamorphosis which had taken place in one month) to hear them say they never felt better in their lives to believe the treatment has been a physical as well I benefit to them. The effect upon discipline here is simply marvelous. Ges, JAMES W. FORSYTH. U.S. A. roots of its success, seat free ADDRESS THE INSTITUTE NEAREST YOU Los Angeles, Third and 283 Locus | S¢GHPAKIN’ av th’ intynational sitooa- tion,” remarked Mr. Hinnigan to Mr. Flinnigan, as the latter added anoth- er shovglful of cinders to the fire, “did |yez iver paws U considher, Flinnigan, th’ | troo nature av diplo-macey ?” “Oi niver heard av Diplo Macey, replied Flinnigan. “Now, there's Mick | Macey, what horses brick fer Mulligan th’ conthractor, an’ Dan Macey on th’ rail- road crossin’, but th’ wan yez mintion are a stranger t' me.” Mr, Hinnigan assumed an expression that made him appear like a cross be- | tween an aggravated bull-pup and a Hin- du idol, and, elevating his voice about an ‘ octave, interrupted his host. |“ Flinnigan,” he asserted, “if com- | prehinsion were sellin’ at th’ foive an’ tin- cint shtores Oi'd inthertain some hope fer yez, but at toimes yer as dinse as a shlab lav rock, Oi hov riference t’ th’ art av dipio-macey as practiced be th’ rippysinta- | tives av wan country in some other coun- try, an’ not t' th’ Macey fam'ly.” “Yez remoind me av Casey whin he are makin’ a po-litical spache,” retorted Flinnigan in selfdefense. Yez ought dishtribute a book av diffynitions v th’ aujence befor yez commince yer oration.” | As Oi wor sayin’,” continued Mr. Hinnigan, « th’ troo diplo-mat are a child av Munchausen, Incidintally, Finnigan, ' Munchausen wor th’ champeen liar av th’ | Dootch. Th’ ginnywine diplo-mat are a lad what can relave himsilf av tin thou- sand wurds widout revalin’ th’ other felly what are on his moind. His lang- widge consists av mintil riservations an’ hot air, as they say in th'wist. It are his jooty U foind out what th’ other lad knows. widout showin’ his hand. He don’t begin diplo-matin’ be placin’ his hand in th’ air an’ kissin’ th’ book. Th’ raysult. are an ixchange av wurds thot wud make Ana- nias take ¢ th’ tallest timber an’ hang him- self be his suspenders as far as he wor able t' climb on th’ highest three.” “ Yez same U hov somethin’ agin dip- pylomats,” said Mr, Finnigan as he masti- cated the stem of a corncob pipe.“ Did wan av thim iver sell yez a goold-brick ?” “As I wor sayin’,” continued Mr. Hinnigan, without vouchsating a reply, “ diplo-macey are no job fer th’ man whose | conscience are not covered be boiler-iron, | unliss he hov rejooced it ta mere vermy form appindix be long neglict or hittin’ a good rap on th’ hid whiniver it bekem obstre What Oi wor gittin’ down to, Flin nigan, wor th’ sitooation in th’ far ast | There are diplo-macey fer yez. In th town av Conshtantinople are a felly wid a ‘rous. HE light Club Cocktail is the thing ‘That makes you want your dinner. It puts your fancy on the wing Until you are a winner. it gains, all m To give one good digestion, And of the seven which is best Is quite an open question. MR. HINNIGAN ON DIPLOMACY. By La Monte Waldron. fez. Oi raygard him as th’ man wid th ricord as far as diplo-matin’ are concerned He are so riticint he wears a gag, an’ he kapes th’ powers a-shtandin’ around him in a ring, ache av thim wid an eye on th lad nixt him ana hand on his six-shooter An’, moind yez, Flinnigan, this Turk ar: a sick man, far from bein’ convaliscint Manny an’ manny ’s th’ toime he wud ho ben called out t defind himsilf had not his docthor appeared in th’ back dure av th iz pallas an’ held up a warnin’ han. v th’ powers cavoortin’ in th’ near-b shtrates not t' make so much nize. An thin they shpread shtraw on th’ thorro- fares be th’ sultan’s hidquarthers an’ wir away on tiptoe t’ wait ontil he wor sufi ciently shtrong t’ shlap back whin some- wan hit him. “Thin, Flinnigan, there are th’ czar ay all th’ Roosias. He are no amacho as a diplo-mat. Yez will recall thot h waved th’ gavel in th’ famous. pace-co ferince called racintly fer th’ purpose av prevailin’ on th’ other lads U lay down goons an’ sase_minacin’ th’ poor, wake Slav. Oi hov it from an ixcillent soorce thot, whoile th’ dillygates wor wranglin™ over th’ quistion who shud dhrop his way. ons first, th’ czar wint t’ an anty-room an’ ordhered his navy-yard v immajetly con- shtruct eighteen more battle-ships an’ twinty-foive torpado-boats. “But, Flinnigan, thot are nayther here nor in Conshtantinople. T’ con-clude me riferince U th’ invalid av th’ Yildi:, who wears middles be th’ hunderd fer diplo- matin’, Oi moight raymark thot ivery toime th’ powers rache his foive-yard line he are taken wid a new shtyle av pains. In ordher be th’ bist diplo-mat he don’t hov to say annythin’ thot are not so, He pounds his cimmyter on th’ flure an’ fer a grane apple or a pint av tomanes. An’ Oi am lid t’ belave thot th’ czar him belongs t' th’ same lodge, an’ t whin they mate th’ monarch av all th’ Roosias puts his right thoomb ¢' his right car an’ wiggles all th’ fingers on thot hand.” For a few minutes Flinnigan seemed to have been dazed by the dissertation Finally he broke the silence by asking, “Vez wint t-th’ raycint ixposition, didn’t yez 2” “ Yez know Oi did,” replied Mr. Hin- nigan. “Well,” continued Flinnigan, © yez should hov kept off th’ Midway. Some black-whiskered felly wid a pair av pants thot made him look loike a flyin’-machane hov ben imposin’ on yez. An’, Hinnigan, yez kin bet yure loife he wor a dippylo- mat.” From Amsterdam to China, From Ballywhack to Barbadoe: From France to Caroli And as it always hits the spot, In palace, cot, oF steerage, It lands the drinker, Turk oF Scot, Right in the British peerage. ORNITHOLOGICAL. Bowlby—" This ostrich reminds me very much of a boarding-house chic! -n- fricassee.” Dolber—* How so?” Bowlby—* Because it’s all legs and neck.” Portland, Ore, 420 Williams Ave. Sea 29 Sullivan Block, Waukesha, Wis. Toronto, Ont... * Grand Ra New Orleans, La., Cor. sgth and : 3628-38 Felicity Se. Leavenworth Sts. 3o6 Washington St. jon-Heredity of Inebriety," by Dr. Leslie E. Keeley, mailed upon apNication. LESLR &. KEELEY, M.D., LD, comicbooks.com