Judge — November 23, 1901 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIS TROUBLE. MBE-GRE N was ill. Lost his ap- petite, couldn't sleep and had various other. alarming symptoms. Mrs. Green called in the family physician, Dr.Saunderson. Now the doctor's medical skill was unquestion- ably great, but he «was deaf as a post and so abrupt and gruffin his manner as to be cuite distressing at times. During the careful exami he made ofthe pati Mrs. Green stood by with clasped hands and anxious eyes, eagerly watching for any change in the phy s expression that might reveal his opinion of the case. At last he turned to the lady, gave her some directions as to the care of the patient and handed her a little bottle of pellets. As he was leaving the room Mrs. Green sud- denly remembered that nothing ha said about diet. flew to the doctor's side, exclaimin « Oh, doctor,what kind of nourishment am Lto give him?” The doctor, mis- taking the question for one regarding the cause of the patient's illness, half turned and flung back over his shoulder the startling reply: Liver, madam, liver; nothing but liver, NO DOUBT OF IT. SEMAY be it’s just M as well not to have a lot of money.” “Well, anyhow, it’s just as well to try to make yourself think The jolted— “My! these Broad- way cars can scarcely be called the poetry of motion.” The jounced— - “No; they are the blank verse.” HE custard pie is blowing ripe Upon the whifile-tree, And man his timbre! and his pipe Attunes to cestasy. \ ¥ Phare ————— AN AIRY NOTHING. ‘Sue—" Mr. Spacer says he got a mere trifle for that last poem of his."” He—"A mere trifle! Why, the editor hit him with an ink-well and threw him down the elevator-shaft.”” Sue—" Yes, but that's a mere trifle to Mr. Spacer—he used to be a foot-ball player! "" A BUD OF PAS- SAGE. HE JOvED that she was back in town, He had resolved to tell his love. To meet her train, he hurried down Inardent haste his fate to prove. “You're glad to be at home?" His pause She filled as fast as she could speak- “Glad? yes, lad—because Tnadia, next DAYBREAK, (Up a Harlem light-shaft. 1, YI, YU! and bow- The dog begins the row; resenting the milkman’s carly call, he barks and yelps through the basement hall. The next-door janitor, rest-disturbed, in mind and body is much perturbed. “Did iver yez know the loikes of that? Shure, why ain't the satisfied widea cat? The first-floor baby is now awake and howls till the walls of the building shake, while his doting parents join brew the shaft, with right cous resentment is al- most daft—" Mein Gott in himmel! 1 bays mein rent, but [ don't gotno sleep here vorta cent.” And then, with irony hard to bear, alarm-clocks tinkle upon the air, and a sad French voice breaks on the ear, “Oh, zis is so bad I nevair-r hear!" ‘Then several men rise at one time, but what they say can't be told in rhyme. And where do we find this cause for wrath?) In “six light rooms anda fine tiled bath.” JENNIE D. Lockwood, ‘THE INEVITABLE. Wife—1 had to spend fifty of that five hundred for some necessary things Husband—Well, what are you going to do with the four hun- dred and fifty 2” Wife—" Oh, tha goes for luxuries.” comicbooks.com