Judge — November 2, 1901 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

So you want a generel redistribution of] wealth | “Ido,” answered the man with schemes for reorganizing society. “On what plan?” “On a plan that would enable me to get rid of a lot of things I don't want and to get pos- on of a number that I have taken a fa Washington Star. “Have you had any stage experien asked the theatrical manager. "said the fair applicant, blus modestly, “Tdo not like umphs, but I was the le: school cantata | beautifully nf to speak of my trie Jing lady in a Sunday nce, and my friends said I acted | Boston Post. | Com hangin’ hi An’ fields white sunshin n’ storms are forgotten. Atlanta Constitution, ith cotton ; You can prune a gooseberry bush, a small boy's hair, or a mill-hand’s salary, and thereby make each of them less. But it remained for George H. Daniels of the New York Central to prune a railroad and make itgreater. Noune,not even the man who is a chronic boarding-house | dweller, knows what a real prune is, in all its | ramifications and subtler shades of meaning, until he has eaten one of the California variety while traveling at the rate of a mile a minute Jon any ork Central chain-lightning express. To put a prune into your mouth at Forty-second Street and ha Poughkeepsie and swallowed at Albany is cer- | tainly a unique experience, as well as one tha should convince the average epicure of limited capital that it isa great saucerful of prunes that will stretch out over the period of time required to go from New York to Buffalo. And the ason that these pruncs cover so much terri- tory is not because of the slowness of the prunes, but of the swiftness of the train. Tt isn't th prune that makes the train go, nor is it the train that makes the prune go. It is Mr. Daniels that makes both of them go, and he drives them tandem and gets there in record-breaking t without counting stops to coal up and vasel the what-do-you-call-it—sophomore phore locomotive? HITMANS Chocolates A THREE TIMES WINNER GOLD MEDALS ‘At New Orleans, 1885; Chicago, 1893, Paris, 1900. If local dealers cannot supply distillers BERNHEIM BROTHERS, Louisville, Ky. ress the The New Issue of .... JUDGE’S LIBRARY ne sem. ‘When oe sweet tooth calls for candy The wisdom tooth says emus rTM ‘nana STEPHEN F. WHITMAN & SON, 1316 Chestnut St., Philadelphia. Is published everywhere October 20th | A High-class Satirical Monthly. Illustrated by the best-known artists and caricaturists, and contributed to by our brightest writers. A MAGAZINE OF SOCIETY, the first edition of which was completely sold out three days after publication. QUALITY is sold by all first-class booksellers, and is to be found at your hotel or at all important railway stations. PRICE, 10 CENTS PER COPY. e it chewed at | ‘THE CHINESE WAY. RE the Chinese train, with big Bell and whistle, scoots, All the stations thus the pig- Tailed announcer toots : Amoy, Canton, Chengwankow, Chinkiang, Wassung ; Pakhoi Fukien, Foochow, Wei-hai-wei, Shantung Swatow, Nagasaki, Chang, Nankipoo, Hankow ; ntsin, Kiangsu, Newchwang, Peckaboo, Bow-wow ! Yea, these trains all fly like spaniels O'er the blooming le. Since they leamed the trick from Daniels Of the N.Y. C. THE LIVINGSTON CAMPAIGN. By Rebert Hobart Davis. S66] DON'T make no difference to me how of a sack Livingston throws into the campaign. I'm a candy- date for sheriff of Douglass County, Ne | vada, and I've got the cc much n to make good You can gamble that James Summerfield Banning is out to win against the bunch.” Mr. Banning smashed his good right hand down on John Sweeny’s bar, stroked his red beard with a nervous sweep, and spat through a distant window Sure, Banning, you're a candidate | all right,” put in Jack Furlong confiding ‘ly, sand a hot one, too. You're a perfect bird, Jim. Not a man in Douglass County | but what wants to see you drag down the persimmon. But. still, Jim” — Fur- long scratched his chin thoughtfulty “Still what 2” inquired Banni solicitude. with + Well, Livingston is no slouch,” re- sumed Furlong. “And what's more, Ban- ning, he will set a hot pace in the matter of blowing in large wads of dough over And [reckon a campaign conducted on that the various gin-bazaars hereabouts, basis will win out, | Has a candydate got to lead the cityzens up to the polls with a strong rye-tide on to get ‘em to stand for the re; “fs it liquor the voters want? gular nomince “Well, Jim, it is a dead cinch that some liquor must be let loose,” responded Furlong, whose political wisdom was gen- | erally conceded throughout Douglass and adjoining counties Mr. Banning blinked thoughtfully a | moment and tugged at his beard. Pres- sently the white light of decision broke Jover his face, and without further delay James Summerfield Banning added this | plank to his platform : “Alle He his hand broadcast over his audie: t, gentlemen.” swept If it's a campaign beginning. halting and ending in the various gin-mills, | accept the f-at, and we'll begin now. body step up and have a drink on Ban- ning, candydate for sheriff of Douglass County, State of Nevada !” At this juncture in the proceedings Mr. Al Livingston, with an army of henchmen at his heels, sauntered into John Sweeny’s resort and smote the bottle on Banning’s account Every- opportune + Yes, fellow-citizens ‘” exclaimed the other candidate, waving his glass in the air, “I'm playing politics according to rock-and-rye, and ™ His eye fell upon 66] ORD ROBERT: three thousand two hundred and fif “said the man who “Well, patents come high,” | patented an eradicator of croton bugs cents. Hain’t got nothin’ out of it yet. ever get his money back.” added the man with the neck-whiskers. his opponent, leaning against the bar, sur veying him compassionately. “And I pre pose to buy two drinks to Livingston's on from now on until the votes are all in an. counted. I stand to put all the cash I'v made in the logging and fluming busines. since ten year back. I give it out cole Two for one—two for one The news of Banning’s reckless po icy went up and down the main street o | swift wings, and the next day fifteen bi | rooms, hastily provided with pine-boar counters and a supply of lacerating barbed wire rum, threw open their doors Mr. James Banning, concluding that |the movement was a sign of approval of his candidac i on his sack ai went forth on his two-for-one crusade and . girded in search of Livingston's political scaly A week before election-day Mr. Banning had succeeded in affixing himself to the vingston detachment, and whenever his opponent ordered up the drinks Bannins [doubled the demand and supply without delay. He even went so far as to stand | at Livingston's elbow and scoff at his lack of liberality. But Li ngular policy, while Bannin plural The night before election the feud shifted from whiskey to wine ammunition, ingston stuck to his plied the and the battle waxed hotter and hotter Livingston hoofed it up one side of the street and down the other, lingering duly perhaps in the mushroom saloons while Banning trailed along, stepping very heels. If Livingston threw ten dollars on a bar, Banning’s golden twenty clanked afi er it without hesitation. Five bottles of wine out of Livingston’s sack was the si nal for ten from the eminent Mr. Bar 's. The mushroom bars each had a young national surplus. On the following day, by virtue of the incomprehensible law of perversity (which seems to control politics), Mr. A. Living ston was elected by a majority of three hundred and forty-seven votes. That night, after the population hal slaked its thirst and ushered in the 1 regime, Sheriff-elect Livingston: made tour of the fifteen saloons, in which was a silent partner and sole proprietor, cashing in over eighteen hundred dollrs net, most of which came from the pocket of his magnanimous opponent, James Summerfield Banning, who also ran. Thus terminated the two-for-one s! EXPENSIVE. delights to talk about figures, “had to ity dollars in fees for his patent of nobil ay Cost me forty-two dollars and seventy-e:sht I don't believe Robert What's-his-nam> ‘ll