Judge — October 26, 1901 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

REFLECTIONS OF A SPINSTER. © R= ° LOVE is only to be unhappy. Many men are courteous to all women save their wives. A woman al- ways suspects a man who tells her everything. Confidentially, all business wo- men would rather be married Matrimony is death to the am- bition of nine wo- men out of ten. A. husband's bnew first. deception leaves an inefface- able scar on his wife's heart Other women’s husbands. make life bearable for many. wives. No husband ever lived Tas tune beaen WHAT IT IS COMING TO. who was times the apple wan . (Chisiwit'sieve: pe First wavat orricer—"* What's Lleutenant Turrets at work on these days? o Ee: SNAOAIAG Secon vitro—"* He's designing a destroyer of the destroyer of torpedc-boat destroyers,” REFLECTING, ‘ pe'ple sit_an’ pondar ‘bout dese dre'ry days o fall I take my tho'ts hack yondar to de picture on de wall, Wher’ T cast ‘way dull ‘ours, lookin’, dreamin’ at face s Woks like summer, wid its joys an’ all its grace. TOO EARLY. Mrs. Hornblower —“ There is General Leadenhail over there, one of our most dis- tinguished soldiers.” Mrs. Daisycutter— Indeed? What bat- tles has he been in 2” Mrs. Hornblower —"Oh, not any yet. He has only just been appointed brigadier- general.” Dauber, the artist, went crazy over golf. Now he paints his pictures in the above strenuous manner. AFTER THE RACE. Now that the race is lost and won, Sir Thomas, let me say A word of wisdom in your car Before you sail away. You made a good and noble fight, And, smothered up in foam, ‘The Irish beauty aid her best To bear the trophy home. But if you want to win the prize Another year and sup Your fragrant Ceylon steaming hot In triumph from the cup, Let Herreshoff construct your yacht, And get a Yankee crew, With Skipper Barr to mind the helm, Upon the boundless blue. GOOD AUTHORITY. Hopkins—* Old Brown is y ing to marry off one of his daugh- ters pretty soon.” A MISTAKEN DIAGNOSIS. Popkins—“How do you Tue nanny—"' Why, Billy. you must have heart-disease, know 2” judging by the way it's beating.” cretion eee Buc sator—" Gee! I wish I had stayed Tue witty—"'S-sh! | just swallowed O'Hoolihan’'s sil- Hopkins —“ The gas -metre a wash-tub sailor instead of braving ver watch," man told me.” the dangers of the mud-pond,” comicbooks.com