Judge — October 19, 1901 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

America’s Best The most perfect of the purest type of whiskey is Hunter Baltimore Rye S| = The best for every need of whiskey, and every one who needs whiskey needs the best. It is particularly recommended to women because of its age and excel- BALTIMORE lence. 4 at all fret-class cafés and by jobbers. WM. LANAMAN @ SON, Haltinore, Md. Tue Rock Istanp Playing Cards are the slickest you ever handled. One pack will be sent by mail on receipt of 15 cents in’ stamps. A money-order or draft for 50 cents. or same in stamps, will secure 4 packs, and they will be sent by id. Address Joun Seuastiad H ITMANS YChocolates ndConfections ramen ieamranrtey ene STEPHEN F. WHITMAN & SON, 1316 Chestnut St., Philadelphia. 1.98 will got more prompt attention and better serv oy mentioning sna wien answering advertisements, “*A Vacation Week at the Pan-American the latest brochure issued by the New York Central. Itis pretty safe to say that the person who wrote it was there and had a good time, and saw all the things worth looking at. He tells just how he saw them and how they im- pressed him. He speaks of the grandeur of Niagara Falls in such a way that you can see them with your mind's eye, and makes various allusions to the many honeymooning couples now holding down gondolas on the Venetian lagoon ; and touches on the bizarre méter of the scrub-women who are up at three a. m. | putting a patent-leather shine on the car-win- dows.” He tells where refreshing coffee flows melodiously at regular union rates, and where the room that is large and airy blossoms for one dollara day. He tells how the drummers tune up their voices at the Cave of the Winds, which is their shrine, and why the overheated man of great rotundity goes to the Esquimau village to cool off sufficiently to enjoy a walrus oil cocktail and a seal-skin sandwich. All these features and wonders are shufiled by the pictur- esque historian into a kaleidoscopic crazy quilt of dazzling effect, whose colors fuse and blend until the whole ‘prospect is simply a Buffalo Arabian night, Any man who reads this pam- phlet will want to go and see the fair for him- self, and after he has returned from the fair he will want a copy of the pamphlet to preserve asa souvenir. To reach the fair or to get "A Week at the Pan-American,” apply to George H. Daniels, who is always ready to reveal the double-barreled secret at) the Grand Central station, New York Cjty, U.S. A. Constable A2Ca Carpets. Foreign and Domestic Carpets in our new and special designs. Oriental Rugs. - | An Unsurpassed Stock for Hae Libraries and Dining Rooms, prepared exclusively for our Fall trade. Upholstery. Curtain Materials, Tapestries, Furniture Coverings. Lace Curtains. Estimates on application. ., ree New YorK Made ormared. Print your pwn carn Ace, with & Tactory. ‘Theres Can, Merlden,Coms. 1s {oll of pare fun. No poittics, We. A High-class Satirical Monthly. Illustrated by the best-known artists and caricaturists, and contributed to by our brightest writers. A MAGAZINE OF SOCIETY, the first edition of which was completely sold out three days after publication. QUALITY is sold by all first-class booksellers, and is to be found at your hotel or at all important railway stations. PRICE, 10 CENTS PER COPY. | more shtylish thin his dhra | at th’ chanst, an’ away him an’ th’ aldher- “| man wint in th’ automobilly, They wint to THE BERMUDA AGAIN, oh, silvern sphere, I see your winsome face And feel a thrill of cheer, So subtle is your grace. Queen consort of the steak, From o'er the shining seas, Within my soul you wake Unheard-of melodies ; Wherein, sublimely bland, Bestewed in buttered cream, Alone I see you stand, A fantasy, a dream, ONION. Within your silken snood Or cuticle, I wis, You're of all onionhood The apotheosis. And therefore bend I low In homage at your shrine, My appetite aglow With ecstasy divine. Oh, happy as a boy ‘Am I, and know no ban When round you, pearl of joy, I whirl my inner man. LK, MUNKFFTRICK KELLY’S AUTOMOBILE RIDE. By Harry Newton Gardner. OOM min ar-re bar-rn gr-reat, soom achave gr-reatness, an’ soom ar-re dom fools fer loife—an’ Tim Killy ‘s wan av thim,” remarked Policeman Donahue, ax he filled his pipe for his evening's smoke, well satisfied with his day's work spent in the non-observance of violations of the law by those residents on his beat who had paid their assessments to the wardman. “An what has Tim been doin’ now?” inquired Mrs. Donahue, as she began clear- ing away the dishes of the evening meal. ‘Lictioneerin’ in an automobilly fs the | " princ’pul offinse,” explained the patrolman between put s he settled himself in his easy-chair to unfold the story of Kelly's Y’ see, it’s this way,” he continued. || Killy isn’t satisfoid wid bein’ a good dhrayman—he thinks he’s gittin’ t' be a politician because he kin infloonce th’ votes av his woife’s thray broothers an’ his sicond coosin, Pat Murphy. Will, thot Aldherman Doogan ‘s bunt this sason av th’ year. “So whin th’ aldherman was roidin’ up th’ shtrate this afthernoon in his new auto- mobilly, thot he bought whin th’ new tilly- phune franchis wasn't granted, he shpied Killy an’ axed him wud he take a roide. Killy ‘s niver rid in anny vesicle 9 he joomped Moike Casey's saloon, an’ Killy used his infloonce on th’ dhrinks thot th’ aldherman set oop, an’ he filt ’s important 's a polis- sar-rgeant th’ firsht noight afther he's took aff th’ bate. “They dhrove th’ harseliss car-rige to Jim Dolan’s place an’ infloonced th’ byes there, an’ Killy begin t' fale ‘t he was as good a man ‘s Chief Divry on th’ binch. “ Nixt they wint t' Dinnis Garvey’s an ixchanged soom more whiskey an’ infloonce fer th’ promise av votes. By thot toime Tim began t’ fale 't all he naded was a dimun stood an’ a spavined colt t’ be 's big aman ‘s Dick Croker himsilf. “ Afther they lift there Doogan asked Tim t’ watch th’ automobilly a minute whilst he wint oop fer a short confrince wid de disthrict boss. Afther he'd waited awhoi Killy begin t' wondher 'f he couldn't dhriy th’ conthraption himsilf. He'd watche:: Doogan pull th’ livers an’ twisht th’ whale So he pushed wan av th’ livers a bit, an’ ti automobilly shtarted aff ’s aisy ‘s Tim's dhray-harse whin he's goin’ to’ th’ shtable “Tim pushed th’ liver a little more an’ twishted av th’ thingamagobs, an‘ th conthraption incrased its shpade t' a throt. He poonched th’ liver agin, an’ away he shcooted fashter than iver. He thought thin 't he was in th’ same class wid Willy Van- dherbilt an’ Jawn Jacob Ashter. He wint thray blocks in forty siconds, shmashed a baby-car-rige, run over a dog an’ two chi dher, an’ he filt *t he was almosht riddy fer a job ’s a Brooklyn mothorman. “Finally he thought he'd shtop an’ go back, but th’ mechane tuk th’ bit in its tathe an’ wudn’t be pulled in, He poonched an pulled what he thought was th’ livers shtop it, but away he wint fashter than ive! He got ixcoited, an’ twishted th’ shteerin’- whale till th’ automobilly shtaggerd worse'n a hod-car-rier on pay-day. “He joost missed two cable-car-rs an’ a polisman, an’ knocked down a woman an’ a Dago panut-man befoor he shtruck th’ carner by Blinker's grocery. Th’ whales hit th’ curb, an’ th’ automobilly made wan joomp across th’ walk an‘ through th’ win- dy, landin’ bottom-oop in th’ middle av th’ shtore. Killy shtruck on his back in a baskit av iggs, wid his head in a mackril- bai Blinker thought th’ divil ‘d sint fer him ¢' attind his own wake. He dishap- peared through th’ back dure an’ hasn't been seen since. Th’ mechane puffed away worse’n a cigaroot-shmoker, th’ whales in th’ air runnin’ t’ bate th’ Impire Shtate ixpriss. Th’ automobilly run twinty -siven moiles widout shtirrin’ an inch befoor Doo- gan got there t’ shut aff shtame. * Killy 's in th’ harspit’l now wid wan lig in shplints an’ covered wid enough coort- plashter t’ run a wake; an’ he’s thryin’ ¢ figger out how mooch political infloonce an’ dhrayin’ it'll take t* pay fer wan shtoor-front, eightane doozin iggs, an’ thray-moonths’ docthers’ bills,’ SAMSON AND THOMAS GREEN. HIE teacher in the Sunday-school Had found a pleasing task In getting answers from the tots To questions she might ask ; Till finally she had to stop Recauce, despite her calls, No one could tell why Samson took The gates from Gaza's walls. She waited long ; then just before She told them why. a kid Held up his hand and said he guessed He knew why Samson did. “ Well, tell the class,” the teacher said To little Thomas Green. And Tommie answered, quick * Because ‘twas Halloweet wiLusas J, LAMFTON d clear comicbooks.com