Judge — September 21, 1901 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE 4 WEEK AT THE JUDGE BUILDIN Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES Ano CANADA, TH ADVAN ‘one year. of 53 numbers FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS — To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 viding, Chancery 1 ilding, Chancery lane, news exchange. Maine, CORNER FIFTH AVENUB AND SIXTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. (2 Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are ef ment of this copy! tected by copyright in t will be promptly and CONTRIBUTORS must taclose a stamped and self-addressed envelope with all manuscripts, otherwise return of the latter when found unavailable cannot be guar- antecd. DRAWINGS and all other coatributions seat to the Art Department should have the seader’s fu! name and address writtea plalaly 00 each and every separate sketch. The accompanylog joke or descriptive letter-press should Ia every lastance be written upon Its Individual picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. In- closure of stamps to the full amount of postage Is also required, to Insure safe and prompt retura of material aot accepted. HO SAYS that the immediate future of this country is not of a rose- ate hue? The peach-crop is all right, Chauncey Depew has returned from Europe, and “Coin” Harvey has had a falling out the perpetual {ree-silver candidate. Hurrah! oe PERSIM MONS and_ presidential nominations resemble each other in one respect—neither should be picked before it is ripe. This choice bit of wisdom is commended to the atten- tion of several gentlemen and their friends East and West. eee {* MUST be obvious now to the dullest that there are ends and ends. For example, there is an end of a book, an end of a bee, an end of “a high old time.” But when it comes to the end of the war in South Africa, or in the Philippines—well, there is a dif- ference somehow. see ‘SARE WE A CIVILIZED NA- TION?” inquires one of our esteemed metropolitan contemporaries. Why, yes; of course we are. If any one doubts it let him read the recent daily accounts of negro-burning in the South, police intrigues in New York and Philadelphia. and feudal wars in Kentucky. The man who is not con- vinced by this evidence deserves to be lynched himself. IF THE SULTAN was only an or- dinary man, now. like the rest of us, he might dodge around the corner when he saw a person coming who was likely to hold him up for a trifle of cash overdue. This is where one of the disadvantages of being a Sublime Porte comes in. It might be added that Abdul Hamid has so many such persons lying in wait that he would hardly find corners enough in Constantinople to dodge around. WE ARE growing“ a-weary,” as our friend Tennyson used to say when the government wanted a new ten-line puff. of trying to keep up with this record-breaking business, We had just finished writing up the “ big- gest ship ever floated,” the greatest trotter ever heard of, the greatest ex- port record ever known, the hottest July, and several other smashers, when along come the potato-crop statistics, If this thing doesn’t stop we shall move over into Canada, where things go the other way. Anything for a little rest. enough,” ALcy—"' He does?” DURING THE CALM. Epirn—"'Papa says he thinks you have courted me about long Eprtu—" Y-yes; says he thinks Iam old enough now to pick out a husband and stop fooling with dudes."” THE NEXT MAYOR OF NEW YORK NAMED [7 MAKES us feel bad to think how wilted and discouraged our es- teemed metropolitan contemporaries will be when they realize what a “beat” we have scored on them; but the demands of head-of-date jou: nalism, and incidentally of the box-office. require that we shall announce that the Citizens’ Union has at last agreed upon the name of the HON. SETH COLER PEABODY as the anti-Tammany candidate for Mayor. ‘The prematurity of this an- nouncement may have a damaging effect upon the candidate, but that’s his funeral, and not ours. We bought the information for one dollar and fifteen cents direct from the janitor of the C. U. headquarters, who heard it through a key-hole, and we are under no obligations to withhold it from an anxious public. Besides, we want to get our money back. We are aware that this startling piece of news would justify a caption a yard wide and at least one foot high; but our font of circus-type happens to be dry, and so we have to be more modest. The other names on the ticket will be disclosed in our next issue. We can't afford to give away too much information for a dime a copy. Besides, we have a little feeling left for our poor, crushed contemporaries. TROUBLE FOR “THE SICK MAN.” TROUBLES of a large and threatening aspect are looming up before Abdul Hamid, known more or less to fame as the “Sick Man of Eu- rope.” A simultaneous demand for more pin-money on the part of the three hundred and sixty-five partners of the Sultan's joys is as nothing compared with his present harassment. A few stranglings would soon settle that, but the demands of the Powers are not to be silenced in that way. The insistence of the United States Government on the payment of a little bill long over-due. and the final acquiescence of the Sultan in its liquidation, seem to have precipitated the present difficulty. Numerous other creditors whom his Majesty has also been standing off for many weary years are now coming forward and saying, “Me, too.” France is the first in line just now with a few million francs to be paid, and Germany and Russia are un- derstood to be polishing up their old accounts for immediate use. Evident- ly the wisest course for Abdul Hamid to have followed would have been that advised by the impecunious British philosopher, which was never to pay anybody and thus avoid unjust dis- crimination. But it is everlastingly too jate now. If it comes to the worst, and the rotten old Empire falls to Pieces, no tears will be shed, outside of the royal harem at least. There will certainly be no mourning in Ar- menia. CROKER’S HOME-COMING. AS THESE WORDS are being writ- ten, the report comes that the Lord of Wantage, erstwhile the tough and youthful leader of “de tunnel gang,” has embarked on the high seas for New York. It is understood that the tail-twistings which Philbin and Moss have been giving the Tammany tiger recently have caused that animal's howlings for help to penetrate even to Croker's English retreat. Hence the hurried home-coming. Now, Lord Croker is a puissant and resourceful man, no doubt, and few are the wiles and crooks of New York politics not known to him; but he will find Tam- many Hall in an entanglement, when he arrives, which even his deft and cunning fingers will not be able to un- loose. And there is something more than a glimmering possibility that Croker himself may be caught in the toils before the struggle is over, in which case he will regret that he dared the dangers of the deep for the sake of the tiger. Since his highness declared on the witness-stand that he was working for his pocket ‘‘all the time,” it is difficult to see why he should sacrifice himself for anything else now. Those of his followers who still retain the delusion that he is all-wise and all-powerful should remember the disastrous fizzle of the last New York Bryan campaign, engineered by Croker himself. We would wind this up by saying veré, sap. did we nox hesitate to throw that pearl of wisdom before the Tammany porker.. comicbooks.com