Judge — September 21, 1901 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AS TO TRIGGS. ‘Then Dante grappled Homer's arm and led the bard aside, “Did Milton speak of Danger?” to the Greek | he softly sighed. “Well, yes,” replied old Homer; know he’s full of rigs. He said that Shakespeare warned him to be- ware of this here Triggs.” “but you “But who is Triggs?” the Dago asked, and Homer looked amazed. “Great Trov!"" he faintly murmured with the air of one that’s dazed. ** You must have heard Longfellow 'd got a lot of vicious digs— He got them from the scalpel of this same Professor Triggs.”” “And can you tell," poor Dante asked, "* where next he will attack ?” “It's hard to say,” replied the Greek ; ‘I think he’s working back. He'll get to us in time, I's'pose, and with fan- ‘tastic jigs He'll boot-heel on our name and fame the pri- vate mark of Triggs. “There's Tennyson and Schiller, too, and Keats and Bobby Burns— T s'pose when he gets round to ‘em he'll mash “em all in turns.” “It worries me, Dago said; but Homer shouted, "* Fig When my turn comes,” he loudly laughed, “there won't be any Triggs !” —Cleveland Plain Dealer, Weakness turns To strength with the use of Abbott's, the Original Angostura Bitters. Gro- cers and Druggists PLANTATION PHILOSOPHY, Kill off de fools an’ yo'll t'row de lawyers outer work.—Doin’ good will be found mo’ rofitable in de end dan diggin’ gold.—Duty Is de telescope t'rough w'ich we should pick out de way befo’ us.—De use ob de arrow de- en's on de aim.—W'en a patriot wants offs wants hit all over.—Hit takes de hammer ob practice to drive de nails ob precept. folks live jes’ like dey Vink hell is a mighty good place to spen’ de winter at.—Sum preach- ers try to catch de big fish by speakin’ wid bated breath ob dheir sins. —De worl’ is might! ‘ol’, but it ain't half ez grey-headed ez sum ad de young sinners in it.—Sum folks say dis worl’ is not dheir home. Dat's why dey moves w'en- eber house-rent comes due.—Arhansaw Thom- as Cat. “A Genuine Old Brandy made from Wine.” —Medical Press (London), Aug. 18. MARTELL'S THREE STAR | phenomenal, MISTER FALL TIME. Mister—Mister Fall Time, Ain't yo" comin’ ‘long? Want ter see de oak fire blaze En heah de fiddle’s song. LIFE 18 BUSINESS. Life is real, life is earnest, ‘And we all have stunts to do. Even if they are not pleasant, We have got to see them through. Weary er de summer, Hot ez anything— Want ter heah de ol’-time tune, “* Swing yer partners, swing !* Not a creature is exempted From the universal rule. ‘Those that can't do useful things are Holding down the dunce’s stool. Want ter tap de cane-juice, Sweet ez sweet kin be; “Taters in de ashes, Roastin’ dar fo" me. Knowing this, the little bumble- Bee will hustle like a chump Just to furnish an example That will make a sluggard hump. Mister—Mister Fall Time, Make de summer fly. Want ter ketch dat raccoon En shine de ‘possum eye. fanta Constitution, And the robin clears the garden Of the surplus bugs and worms, While the little old mosquito Peddles round the fever-germs. —Buffalo Express, ‘As an appetizer and general tonic, mix quar- ter wine-glass Dr. Siegert’s Angostura Bitters, fill with iced water, add teaspoonful sugar. Sohmer & Co., the great Piano-makers, fur- nish every variety of instruments—square, up- right and grand—and are constantly str ful i to meet every demand, Their success has been Man on bridge—* Time can't be very valu- able with you, my friend. I've been watchin; “Ali Baba,” HENCE THESE TEARS. Ob, summer girl! ob, summer girl ! 'No more of you we sing. Like butterflies that lightly whirl, Your charms have taken wing. | No more we see the raiment fine Of soft ethereal stuf— A fleeting vision. half divine, | Of lace and flowers and flud. In straight-cut garb at golf you play, And when you are in town Your skirts are a la rainy day, Your face and hands grow brown, And so we sigh and say alas! And kerckiefs moist unfurl, Since we must see a summer pass Without a summer girl. — Washington Star. HEARD AT CONSTANTINOPLE, | said the sultan, after thought- consideration of the subject for three con- secutive seconds, ** do you think the French. | man is bluffing?” "You might call him, sire.” | Call him! On what, slave?” “* Then I sup- Shall I write a fresh pologize again “There's one thing about me," said the | You for two hours, and you haven't had a bite.” | Pose , rite a illionaive who Kad, tegae le as’ poor boy ‘Man on bank—" My time's wuth too much, |e?" Fresh nothing! Send him No. 37 and won by his own efforts, "that I can't help| by gum! to waste two hours of it watchin’ a|in the, U- S- forms. We haven't. used that liking, Tadmit that my manners may not be|man fish that ain't ketchin’ nothin’."—Chicago) lately.” And another serious complication was Tribune as polished as they ought to be, and perhaps I | averted.— Boston Kecord, exhibit weaknesses that make me appear ridic- ulous in the estimation of people who are pol- ished. Still, in one respect I am different from almost all other self-made men. There is one distinction that I'can honestly claim. No one has ever driven up to my house, and, seeing a common-looking person out working around in the yard, said, "Here, my good man, come and hold my horse,’ only to be told after entering the mansion and inquiring for me that I was the ordinary-appearing chap outside there with abandon the bridle.” —Chteago Kecord-Herald, “A Barrel of could not afford more fun CLEVER. “The Changing Faces.” It will amuse you and entertain your friends, and keep you puzzling for hours. INGENIOUS. Monkeys” than our new puzzle, MYSTERIOUS. D THE J. B. WILLIAMS ADDRESS, tJ FREE for 2c. Stamp to cover cost of mailing. ARTMENT F, PROPRIETORS OF WILLIAMS' FAMOUS i + & CO., Giastonsury, Cr. SHAVING soars. beee An eastern poet sings, ‘Oh, to be able to love once more!” He must be married to some lady who keeps him away from the girls.— Chicago Record-Herala | BRANDY AT ALL BARS and RESTAURANTS. 29 Broadway, New York, N.Y. G. F, HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole Proprietors, Naw, she ain If she was mad she'd * me Edward."—Philadelphia Record, GENTLEMEN'S HEAVY FLAT BELCHER RING, Weare the Oat iotatrodace Agold-filied fat Belcher: heretofore, they baw made only 19 gultd gol Pings ect with & Bahiant will be fa we receipt of price, $1.00. This ring tas the saraace of one, costing i. Write today. THE BARRIOS DIAMOND CO., 1139 Broadway, New York. She's callin’ ‘ Eddie. be call . TE C.uB= | THE “SOHMER” HEADS THE Sohmer Building, LIST OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS. | SOHMER PIANOS Only Salesroom tn Greater New York. Sth Ave., cor. 22d St. COCKTAILS Don’t be prejudiced against bottled Cocktails until you have tried the Club brand. No better ingredients can be bought than those used in their mixing. The older they grow the better they are, and will keep perfect in any climate after being opened. You certainly appreciate an old bottle of Punch, Burgundy, Claret, Whiskey or Brandy, why should you not an old bottle of Cocktail? Have you considered tt? Seven kinds. All grocers and drug- gists keep them. PIES anv by simply afow If you will send to Department ** O., we will mai tle book of recipe “ Geventy Geren Dt Hartford, Conn. London. PUDDINGS are wonderfully improved EAGLE MARASCHINO CHERRIES STROM. BROS.,” Cincinnati, Sur dainty lit: AWWW LL) Wd ICES N yur name RHEL Léa ZZ da AR \ comicbooks.com