Judge — August 24, 1901 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LITTLE LIBELS ON HER SEX. Women are mighty good about having their teeth pulled.—Some women always look as though their hair is about to fall dowa.—When two women meet who use the same brand of flour a sort of affinity exists between them.— When an old girl marries she tells around that he has been “wanting her” for ten years— sometimes longer.—A woman has few friends who do.not wonder, when her engagement is announced, if she used hypnotism.—A woman always curls her hair on the anniversary of her wedding-day, though she may neglect it the remaining three hundred and sixty-four days of the year.—Before a marriage engagement is a week old the girl is well posted on an argument to prove that boarding is cheaper than keeping house.—It is a difficult matter for a woman to believe that there is any quarreling in a pretty cottage with roses in bloom over the front porch.—When a woman gets one worry off her mind she is as unsettled as a hen that has lost sight of her chickens until she finds something new to worry about.—Refreshments are not served at parties because guests are hungry, but because people drop their reserve when eating begins and commence to get acquainted.—It is the scrawny woman who is most opposed to evening dress for women And she is the one who should be prohibited from wearing the décolleté costume.—When there is a wedding in the neighborhood work is suspended all day while the women keep count of how often the express-wagon stops at the house —The wo- men say a great deal about sinking their iden- tity when they marry. There may be something in it, but the men sink their money, which is worse.—Did you ever think that at a big party As ly; ‘What is it that he wants to say, He sings his song quite through before He stops to hear me gasp or snore, I slap myself both deaf and dumb, To find at last I must succumb I scratch and swear and tear my hair; But all I do, he still sticks there, Perhaps he condescends to quit Just long enough to hear me grit And then, believing I am game, Plys his old force As an appetizer and general tonic, mix quar- ter wine-glass Dr. Siegert’s Angostura Bitters, fill with iced water, add teaspoonful sugar. Once a wine-agent intruded upon a party of which Maurice Barrymore was one, The agent told Barrymore he was a man of good taste and all that, and wound up by saying: ** When you want a bottle of wine in future, will you not gratify me by asking for my wine? of course,” answered Barrymore most gracious- T shall be delighted to ask for your wine. But, heavens! suppose they should have it!" ‘SKEET, “round my head he tries to play, And all my protests veto? This horrid big mosquito. To his persistent wooing. His fearsome game pursuing. My teeth in angry passion ; to the same In true mosquito fashion. LILLIAN ©. VAN RTTEN, “Why, all the refreshments are for the women? The men do not like ices and scraps of cake. They like a good glass of beer on a hot night; but if their host has any they have to sneak off around the corner of the house to drink it, and come back looking as if they had been stealing sheep.—Arkansaw Thos. Cat. FRESH—RIPE—DELICIOUS » IN PUDDINGS—PUNCHES—ICES ‘You will get more prompt attention and better service vy mentioning Jepwe when answering advertisements. 29 Broadway, New York, N. ¥. A BOTTLE of EVANS’ A Movage fem Halute’s gevieus Trrewed for pase 115 Tears by VANS & BONS. Hepeow ~ G, Fr HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole Proprietors, Hartford, Conn, ALE YPSILANTI Perfect Fitting Health In all sizes and best materials, At Your Dealers. Send for booklot to the makers, HAY & TODD MFQ@. CO, YPSILANTI, MICH, Cocktails until you have tried the Club brand. No better ingredients can be bought than those used in their mixing. The older they grow the better they are, and will keep perfect in any climate after being opened. You certainly appreciate an old bottle of Punch, Burgundy, Claret, Whiskey or Brandy, why should you not an old bottle of Cocktail? Have you considered st? Seven kinds. All grocers and drug- gists keep them, London. THE NOVEL OP THE YEAR. Advertisement.—"' A_New Historical Ro- mance! Positively the Great American Novel! Written by Araminta Jeannette Featherstone with one hand tied behind her! The nine hundredth thousand sold before the author had given the book a thought, or, indeed, before she had written more than fifty chapters! Pro- fusely illustrated with nine thousand steel plates having nothing whatever to do with the story, and twenty-seven thousand wood engravings only remotely bearing upon the same! For sale at all dry-goods shops !—Detreit Journal, Sohmer & Co., the great Piano firm, can point with pride to the magnificent indorse- ment their instruments have received at the hands of the best native and foreign musical artists. Sampson and Schley continue to do the worst sort of team work in their great dual rdle as the hero of Santiago.—A lbany Argus. A POET ON PEACH TODDY. In_an article on his recent visit to Georgia Mr. Ernest McGatfey, the Chicago poet, says: “A nocturne, a statue, a lyric, and a Georgia peach toddy. There is nothing incongruous in such a grouping. We read of the nectar of the gods and draughts of vintage that have been cooled a long age in the deep-delved earth, But when we quit touching such high spots and get down to modern ambrosial de- coctions I vote for a Georgia peach toddy. There were ice and crushed peaches and Stone Mountain corn liquor in the one I drank. What else I did not ask."—Atlanta Constitution. Dull care and doleful faces do not abide with the user of Abbott's, the Original Angostura Bitters. She—""1 see Shamrock /1. is to have a new jury mainmast. What is a jury mainmast?” He—"1 suppose it is the one they use in the trial races.""—Chicage Tribune, WILLIAMS “soap FOR PUBLIC SAFETY WHAT PRES. REEDY SAYS: “ The Master Barbers’ Association of the State of New York was organ- ized with the specific object in view of promoting the interests of the Barbers in this State, and for the PROTECTION, SAFETY and WELFARE of the public in general. We certainly cannot do the above, unless we use in our business the BEST material and supplies obtain- able, among which I certainly class Williams’ Shaving Soap. After an experience in this business covering a fees of twenty-two years, I can onestly say, that Williams’ is the best shaving soap. To all barbers, who believe in the PROTECTION and SAFETY of the public in general, I would say, use none but Williams’ Shaving Soap.” GEO, E. REEDY, President Master Barbers’ Association, State of New York. Moral: Barbers who consider the safety and welfare of their patrons, use Williams Shaving Soap. THE J. B. WILLIAMS’ CO., Glastonbury, Conn., U. S. A. LONDON Paris DRESDEN SYDNEY. Maclay and the Matanzas mule are the shin ing marks of what Sampson did.—Baltimore American, THE “SOHMER” HEADS THE LIST OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS. SOHMER PIANOS Sohmer Building, — 2°U,cu3"92 HITMANS or aale everywhere. Waiman'é Tnstantancher Checatate, ‘Made ina minute with bolling milk. F. WHITMAN & SON, 16 Chestnut Bt., Phitadeiphia, to Greater New Sth Ave., cor, 22d St. Yort. Best Line to Chicago and the West—New comicbooks.com