Judge, 1901-08-17 · page 6 of 16
Judge — August 17, 1901 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains five separate humor pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine: 1. **"A Dangerous Symptom"**: Two outlaws discuss an injury feeling like "an ice-cream soda"—likely satirizing the popular soda fountain culture or possibly referencing carbonation/fizzy sensations. 2. **"My Pretty Typewriter"**: A sentimental poem where "Dot" (the daughter) is metaphorically compared to a typewriter. This plays on typewriter popularity and the conceit of romantic devotion, punning on "dictated to." 3. **"It Has Reached the Horses"**: Two women discuss seasickness/hat straightness—light physical comedy about ship travel discomfort. 4. **"On the Coast of Maine"**: A joke about Maine's cold ocean waters, with locals claiming they wear "sealskin bathing-suits" (likely exaggeration). 5. **"The Way She Understood Him"**: A merchant claims goods are sold at cost; an elderly customer sarcastically refuses to help him out of his "bad bargain"—satirizing retail deception and haggling. These are largely apolitical, domestic humor pieces emphasizing wordplay and social observation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A DANGEROUS SYMPTOM, First outLaw—"* Where are ye hit, pard? Can ye hang on till we git to the canyon?” SECOND OUTLAW—"* Don't know. I got it right in the middle, and it feels like an ice-cream soda.” MY PRETTY TYPEWRITER. [ HAVE 2 preity txpewriter. As pretty as can be. I'm very much in love with her, And she as much with me. I tell her what I'd have her say, Bat not what she must do; For this I find the only way She'll be dictated to. Sometimes she makes a lover ‘* stare,” When I would have him start, But never strikes a wrong note on ‘The key-board of my heart. She dotes on her old ‘* No. 2,” This girl who's one with me, She chose the number so because We hadn't room for three. And must I tell you now her name? T'd quite as lief as not. This pretty typewriter of mine Is—just—my—daughter—Dot. youn raul. IT HAS REACHED THE HORSES. Sue (with the sailor hat}—'* I feel awfully bad.” Hx (with the Panama}—"* What's the matter—mal-de-mare?" Sur (with the sailor hat)—"* No; but I can’t tell if my hat is on straight. ON THE COAST OF MAINE. Newcomer—"\ don't see how you ever stand bathing in this icy sea.” Old stager—" We wear sealskin bathing-suits.”” ‘THE WAY SHE UNDERSTOOD HIM. * Madam, we are selling these goods for just what we paid for Otp Lapy—'‘An’ you've got the face ter think I'm goin’ ter help yer out of a bad bargain!” Dees ne Tue curax comicbooks.com