Judge, 1901-08-03 · page 5 of 16
Judge — August 3, 1901 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains satirical commentary on early 20th-century American life: **"Golden-Rod"**: A humorous poem celebrating ham omelets, using flowery language to mock overwrought poetic sensibility. **"One Result"**: A joke about Andrew Carnegie's philanthropic funding of education for Scottish youth. The "discord" from Earth that Martians hear is Scottish students practicing their dialect—satirizing both Carnegie's generosity and Scottish accents as comically grating. **"How He Took It"**: A brief gag about someone named Percy refusing to ride a horse over a five-barred gate, treating it as a personal insult—mocking oversensitive masculine pride. **"The Usual Way"** and **"Reflections of a Spinster"**: A domestic humor cartoon about children ruining lawn appearances, paired with cynical observations about marriage, divorce, and women's roles—reflecting period anxieties about matrimony and gender relations. The overall tone is sophisticated, class-conscious satire targeting upper-middle-class pretensions and social conventions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
GOLDEN-ROD. | SEE the goiden-rod Of eighteen carat fine ; I see it gayly blow and'nod And gleam and ibeam and shine. And when I see the pig Amidst it poke his snout, I have to dance a joyful jig And shout a joyfulshout. For I'm reminded of The thing I dearly like— The thing, in fact, I dearly love At early morn to strike; The thing that makes me fog With joy till I salaam; The thing composed of egg ~ and hog— The omelette charged with bam, BX. MUNKIFFRICK, ONE RESULT. First Martian — “What is the cause of that hideous discord which rises from the earth?” Second Martian — “Didn't you know? Car- negie has provided every Scotch boy and girl with a university education, and they're practicing dialect college-hoots.:” Mrs. Jones—'* Th Mas. Paovaut Sroc kids K: Did you ever see Percy take a five-barred gate?” No, How does he take it?” Why—aw—he seems to take it as a personal insult.” ruining a fifty-dollar gown. THE USUAL WAY. appers have thrown two more messages onto the Porkenhamm’s front lawn.” here's no use trying to keep a front lawn looking decent if one has children.” REFLECTIONS OF A SPINSTER. MAN is a woman's slave before marriage; afterward she is his. A man’s real-charac- ter is only visible in mo- ments of intens¢ emotion. A love which cannot endure constant propin- quity lacks a vital prop- erty. ‘The re-marriage of a divorced. person is more frequently for spite than love. The husband of a widow is like the’second captain of a once wrecked boat. The monotony of the daily life of a virtuous wo- man would drive a man crazy. A_ beautiful woman devoid of sentiment is like a flower without fra- grance. A married life with- out a quarrel is like a pasture on which it has never showered, The real ange} is the woman who can walk cheerily through the rain with the man who failed to take a cab, while VADA AGNEW. comicbooks.com