Judge — July 27, 1901 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sidge PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THE JUDGE BUILDING. Terms to Subscribers, UNITED STATES AND CANADA IH ADVANCE, ‘One copy, one year, of 52 numbers One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks - Jacluding the Cuaistmas Juocs. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS — To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 a year. Wastaan Ornicn—Heary Bright, manager, Boyce b it, Chicago, Euaorsan si ¢ ‘International mews company, Brea: Chancery lane, venue del Ora, Par a x2 jarbach's mews exchange, Maina, Germany, CORNER FIFTH AVENUB AND SIXTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. 27 Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly ia the world. ORs Te™ NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. lafringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must tactose a stamped and self-addressed envelope with all manuscripts, otherwise retura of the latter whea found unavailable cannot be guar- anteed. Sone of the season—the humid-ditty. eee +s ABSINTHE makes the heart grow fonder"—(Frenchman’s version of the old sentimental saw eee RDINARILY the Weather Bureau keeps us guessing, but the recent heat wave made the worst a dead certainty. H. PHILLIPS, the Chicago “corn king” (not chiropodist, in speculator), started as an elevator-boy. He says his great trade secret has been always to get onto something that is bound to go up. THE Matanzas mule, sole victim of Admiral Sampson's bombardment of that Cuban port, is to be perpetuated in marble by a Spanish sculptor. They have not gone so far as to put its head on a medal, though. eee BENEFICIAR of the late millionaire philanthropist of . Mos- cow, who bequeathed twenty-one million! rubles for educational purposes, will bless the name of Tsolodovnikoffskief, It re~ quires a liberal Russian education to be able to do that, UDGE TAFT, our new Civil Governor of the Philippines, despite his three - hundred - pound physique, trod the measure of a rigadoon with courtly Spanish grace at the state ven in honor of the American Commission at Cebu. The Judge’s danc- ing-steps, as well as his ns, have great weight over there. eee URL TRIALS are a source of great satisfaction to the people of New York, who are never for any length of time without their favor- ite distraction. When murderers are scarce, they try the same one over three or four times, and finally acquit him, so that he can commit more. THE BAD MEN—' HIS STYLE SAVED HIM CuoLy—" Really, you know, I must insist that the French corset is still the propah thing.” YOUTHFUL TALENT. A SOUBRETTE has achieved a fine double stroke of sell-advertising by having the summons in her divorce suit served upon her concealed in a bouquet of flowers thrown on the stage while she was doing her vaudeville turn, If that girl had the right kind of literary advice she might come in on a “ best-selling-novel-of-the-year” racket. A HAPPY MAN. DENVER, Colo., June 27. Three years ago I was married. My wife's mother came to live with us—you know the rest. The other day I kissed my mother-in-law good-bye. The thought of separation from her overjoyed me. I sat down and wrote the following verses to relieve my feelings. Dear JUDGE, please publish ! Dear June! HEAVENLY BLISS. I HAD looked, I had longed for the acme of bliss, For the soul's satisfaction, a swooning-swect kiss; T had asked of a thousand, no answer to find, I had read, I had pondered, each masterly mind ; I had asked birds, trees, rivers by which I did saunter, To bestow a vague hint, just a very small pointer : But, alas! all in vain, unavailing my quest — I must live on in sadness, the same as the rest, Ina most unexpected, fortuitous way, I suddenly caught onto heaven to-day, And it filled to o’erflowing my cup of delight, As my spirits uprose to delirious height. Eureka! I've found it, though others may miss, The soul's satisfaction, the acme of bliss, For the key to Elysium, I grasped it, in this— When I gave my wife's mother a last good-bye kiss ! MARSHALL, VREELAND'S EPIGRAMS. N EW YORK’S Metropolitan Street Railway service is probably the most outrageous that is tolerated by any civilized community but the president of the company, Mr. H. H. Vreeland, has a happy knack of turning off reasonable complaints with pungent epi- grams of his own device. For instance, if you say, “It is rather disagreeable, in hot weather, to have persplring people stand- ing in front of one, and walking over one’s feet in the open cars, when one does happen to get a seat," Mr. Vreeland will playfully respond: “The public and the news- papers are dogs fighting overa bone—I'mthe bone, and nothing doing!" This, it will be observed, is an up-to-date adaptation of old Vanderbilt's unforgot- ten phrase, “The public be damned Another quaint if not absolutely original saying of Mr. Vreeland’s is: “ The kick- ers ought to ride in auto- mobiles or hansoms.” Which is akin to Queen Maric Antoinette’s _ re- mark, when she was told the poor people of Paris were crying for bread: “Why don't they eat cake?” But, although occasionally reminiscent, Mr. Vreeland’s ready wit is of a quality befitting him to occupy a position far other than his present one. He might edit, or at least contribute to, a humorous periodical —and in this connection we would recommend JuDGe’s esteemed convict contemporary, the Star of Hope. to-day comicbooks.com