Judge, 1901-07-27 · page 10 of 16
Judge — July 27, 1901 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous sketches typical of *Judge* magazine's satirical content: **"The Lost Word"** is a whimsical poem about a typist who accidentally strikes an incomprehensible word on their typewriter, unable to reproduce or explain it—poking fun at the mechanical unpredictability of early typewriters. The other sketches mock everyday absurdities: a father praising his daughter's worse musical performances as "better music," a doctor praised for an operation that benefited the patient's family by his death, a hunter with an awkward gait, a new father asking what his newborn son "wants," and a young man claiming he converted his horse into an automobile. The "Hay Fever" and "Fashionable" pieces use dialect humor common to the era—rural/working-class speech patterns—while "And His Widow Got a Dollar" jokes darkly about a workman's fatal accident being financially worthwhile. These are light, pun-driven satirical vignettes typical of early-20th-century American humor magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
1 THE LOST WORD. Itt TY 1 Tende@obkéntaahy TH reat Nill SEATED one day at the type- | i Ax i writer, A I was weary of a's and e's, And my fingers wandered wildly (Over the consonant keys. I know not what I was writing I With that thing so unlike a pen; I But I struck one word astounding — Unknown to the speech of men. i It fell on the flood of my verses , Like the close of a tinker's dam, | And I felt as the tyro feeleth, When for calm he writeth clam, There were s’s and p's and h’s, A | ‘And y's, n's, x's were rife; ter | It seemed it must have a meaning — te | So I showed the word to my | wife. d It seemed a perplexing meaning, aft ‘And folded in many a crease ; bh But rags may be woven as carpets ei Into one perfect piece. Te T have sought, but I seek it vainly, That one lost word to divine— Which came from the keys of my typewriter— So I think I must call it mine. It may be that wretched typewriter ‘Will produce that same word HE DIDN'T APPRECIATE IT. again; . 1 * * . 5 ” | , i . Mother, it jest ‘peers to me that the more lessons the girls take the worse their music sounds. . 1 Ber oct iene tt 1 ee “ W'y, paw, how you talk { the worse it sounds the better music it is. It 'd cost you five dollars to hear that opri they're iH pen. vonw race,» Singin’ if you was in New York.” A REAL BENEFACTOR. “MY DEAR doctor, I cannot thank you enough for performing that operation on my uncle.” “I did the best I could.” “T know, I know it. By his death, two whole families are now living in compara ease. ON A WET TRACK. Stokesby —* Who is that chap with such a load 2" Trotter —** Charlie Hounslow, one of the hunting set.” Stokesby (Arily) —" He has a five-bar gait, sure enough !” FORCE OF HABIT. Nurse —“ It's a boy, sir!” Editor—" Ask him what he wants!" AN INVENTOR. Well, well! What have you been doing to yourself 2" ; By attaching a ram to my spout I've had myself made into an automobile.” THE SHARK Tur wiace HAY FEVER. DEAR father—t cannot come home As usual this year; I've got hay fever, doctor says, And got it bad, I fear, The sight of grass, or smell of hay Affects me through and through ; Will come to hunt in early fall, Eschew! eschew ! eschew ! Dear son — I'm sorry yew ain't well, We need yew purty bad ; ‘The hay is ready tew be cut, ‘The most we ever had, Can't send your extra money now, Hey got ter hire, yew see, FASHIONABLE. Another man ter take yewr = AND HIS WIDOW GOT A DOLLAR FOR IT. Mams — "* Cryin’ ‘cause youse has ter wear yer old man’s Place, Jone writer (cing blozwn up}—"* What a fool I was not pants? _W'y, Chimmie, yer right in de swim—ey ft you jest Hoho! Haha! Hehe! to run when that workman told me to! A regular (ha-ha-ha !) ike de swells’ do now,” sox coxa, blasted idiot!" (Gets out note-book and jots it down.) comicbooks.com