Judge, 1901-07-20 · page 6 of 16
Judge — July 20, 1901 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Down by the Sea"** is romantic verse with a twist—a man's poetic moment discovering sand in a woman's slipper is ruined when he also finds a hole in her stocking, deflating romantic sentiment with practical reality. **"In Topsyturvy Land"** appears to be visual absurdist humor about using Indian clubs (exercise equipment) as people. **"A Ticklish Question"** jokes about a child scratching herself causing her father laughter—implying the father finds it amusing rather than concerning. **"Hope for Him"** depicts a wife believing her husband is dying, with a doctor maintaining a "hallucination" keeping him alive—dark humor about marriages. **"Just Like a Woman"** presents a grocer's observation that women claim they can't carry small parcels but manage to transport golf clubs—poking fun at perceived female inconsistency or selective helplessness. **"Reflections of a Spinster"** offers cynical observations about love, marriage, and gender relations, suggesting platonic love's futility. The humor reflects period attitudes toward gender and relationships through exaggeration and irony.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DOWN BY THE SEA. Penfnvea Stan tews) HINT 1, HE said There was sand in her slipper; And I, like a heathen, Looked up at the sky and out to the sea then. MINT HH. She said ‘There was sand in her slipper. I felt my soul scatter, And after a moment I had to look at her. MNT She said ‘There was sand in her slipper. What on earth could I do then But kneel at her fect and unfasten her shoe then? THE DENOUEMENT, Which I did in a tremor delightful, Ah, me! it was shocking. ‘There teas sand in her slipper—and a hole in her stocking ! IN TOPSYTURVY LAND. INDIAN CLUB—" These men are just the thing to exercise with !" A TICKLISH QUESTION. Litrie Anei—"' Every time ma scratches herself pa gets a laughing fit and seems to HOPE FOR HIM. be tickled to death over something.” ‘ e nethin Doctor—"* Your hi i iri ‘am. Wire—"" Oh, dear! Do you think he will get well?” Doctor—*Er—yes, if we can only keep up the hallucination.” REFLECTIONS OF A SPINSTER. HERE is nothing in all the world so dead as a dead love. A wife won with difficulty is often retained with difficulty. ‘A man with a female type- writer rarely employs an office- boy. Happy people grow fat. There are more fat widows than wives. Only our ignorance of him makes one man seem greater than another. When a woman asks a man to be her friend it proves her es- teem; to offer to be his proves her indifference. The distinguishing feature of platonic love is that, while it sometimes leads, just as other loves do, to the gates of para- JUST LIKE A WOMAN. dise, it closes them hopelessly in Couxrry GRrocer—" Oh, no; a girl can’t carry home a pair o° shoe-strings or a package o' tea—has to hev ‘em deliv. the face of its victims. ered; but I notice she kin always manage to lug a bag o' them golf-sticks.”” YADA AGNEW. comicbooks.com