Judge, 1901-06-08 · page 7 of 16
Judge — June 8, 1901 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"A Model Dun"** mocks a Boston clerk's pretentious language. When a Southern jobber asks him to collect a debt from a "darky deacon" at Goose Creek, the clerk writes an absurdly verbose letter using inflated vocabulary instead of plain speech. The joke satirizes Northern pretension and bureaucratic obfuscation—the clerk's ornate language makes a simple debt collection letter incomprehensibly pompous. The Southern employer appreciates it as evidence that Massachusetts has solved "race questions," which is itself satirical commentary. **Other items** include brief humor pieces: a complaint about spitting in streetcars, college-educated women reversing traditional gender roles, and puns on centrifugal/centripetal forces. The overall tone reflects Judge's satirical style: mocking class pretension, linguistic excess, and emerging social changes of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A MODEL DUN. 6e¢MA{R. BILLS,” said the Southern jobber to the new book-keeper from Boston, “IT wish you would write the darky deacon over at Goose Creek that his account will have to be paid this month. Let me see the letter.” And twenty minutes later he was reading: “The modicum of currency in my depository will not permit the reduction of my liabilities in the degree commensurate with the importunities of my creditors. The exigencies are such as pre- : : clude the leniency with which WEte ABTARSCrEn DOG T usually adjust the balances C=! Grevnounv—" Say, my friend, I wouldn't get id that car if I were you." Of ™Y obligators, and impel Sritz poc—* Why not?” 3 me to methods which ordina- Gnevitounn—"" Because there's a fine for expectorating in street-cars. rily do not charatterize my routine of business. A tran- script of the ledger folio bearing your appellation has been prepared by my subordinates and is the primary exhibit which accompanies this communication. I invite your consideration to its text, with the suggestion that you at once call into requisition the unexcelled facilities which the government has in operation upon OVERHEARD. NEAR THE “JUDGE” OFFICE. Tommy BrgTLE—'* What are you taking off your hat to him for?” Wry Fiy— Why, that’s Mr. Gus Dirks, the bug artist.” ; Our systems of transportation and = "employ them for the transmission of vei a eee as fh the evidence which will liquidate Lae Bl «your indebtedness before the first [* proximo—a course which I antici- pate you can pursue without incon- venience. “ P,S,—Send money first mail.” The wholesaler was delighted. “ At last,” he said, “ Massachusetts has demonstrated her ability to suc- cessfully grapple with race ques- tions.” THEN AND NOW. ARY had a little lamb ‘That followed her to school ; But maidens of our modern day Now quite reverse the rule. For first a college they attend, To work with might and main, And when four years have passed away ‘The sheepskin then they gain, STRONG CREDIT. Mrs, Farmer WitiFFLetRER—" Waz-al, Josh, did yew leave that firkin o’ butter at the grocer’s?” Jost WuirrLerreE—** Yes, mother ; and he said he'd give us two months’ credit on the strength of it.” LOSERS. HEY made a bet— He thought it that; she, this: He beta box of gloves, And she—a kiss, She won, He paid the bet. But why should she Be just as sorry that she won Ashe? THRODOSIA GARRISON. TWO FORCES. Jinks— What makes a rabbit wiggle his nose?” Binks — Give it up. What is it?” ate SJinks— Why, scentrifugal' force.” Binks—*Ha, ha! Well, what makes a rabbit run so fast?” Jinks— Give it up.” Binks—" Sentripedal force?” Mrs. BEFORE THEY SETTLED DOWN. . WURRYANFRET—"" Jonn, you haven't said how you like the new house,”