Judge, 1901-06-01 · page 7 of 16
Judge — June 1, 1901 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces reflecting turn-of-the-century American attitudes: **"Decoration Day"** offers patriotic verse honoring Civil War fallen, referencing the "united blue and gray" (Union and Confederate forces). **"Among the Inanimates"** is a light pun joke about a clock and ticks. **"Embarrassment"** satirizes a Spanish-American War profiteer—a government official distributing Manila Bay battle prize-money to a sailor, whose discomfort suggests society's unease with war profiteering. **"Should Be Right"** mocks French currency and dining pretension. **"A Feminine Occupation"** jokes that grain-drilling is unremarkable "sowing" work for farm girls. **"Why Luke Has Stopped Lying"** depicts an Irish laborer ("Lyin' Luke") and a farmer's wife, playing on ethnic dialect humor and rural temperance themes—she threatens to waste liquor he won't admit to drinking. The page reflects period class anxieties, xenophobia, and rural-urban cultural tensions typical of Judge's satirical approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DECORATION DAY. KEFEP this day, and keep it holy, To the fallen hero's deed ; Let the races you remember Be the vones that he has freed. © Let the ball-game that you honor Be the Mauser’s whistling , play, And the colors that you favor The,united blue and gray. BIC LANDBURGH WILSON, SOME GROUND FOR_IT. Miss Gaylord —" Have you heard of Mrs. Rushitt’s last break?” Miss Pompadour —"1 have heard of a thousand or two, but I dare say this has escaped me. What is it?” Miss Gaylord—*She is to give a reception in honor AMONG THE INANIMATES. of the Earl of Inchley. He 1s Ents watnut—" Hello, Clock! I hear you're mov- about the size of Tom Thumb. ing. Where do you sleep?” ita Mr. CLock—" Why, I sleep between the ticks.” ‘Well, she seat. cut hes invita: PLEBEIAN CLOTHES-PIN—"‘Aw, ye needn't feel so proud tions for a ‘Small and Early. just because yer holdin’ a silk stockin’.” EMBARRASS- SHOULD BE MENT. 1} lt PD RIGHT. : , ' Ny © WN rend Hone SOYVHAT kind of . By i 4, bss money is ii pewey: Te- = that ?” said the cashier marked the govern- ae f the restaurant as h ment cashier, handing Wate ERY pushed back 2 esnGe 5 Wy i ‘Ay * out an oblong piece of wy ys fered by a patron, paper, “is a cheque for : cont: $ . a ¥ “That is a five- nine thousand five hun- q aw ‘ * Ne franc piece, French dred and seventy dol- \ . AAA Mii is s money. lars, your share in the “We don't accept prize-money of the bat- % . French money.” tle of Manila Bay.” ‘ . “Then why do Shiver my tim- = you print your bill-of- bers!" replied the old S fare in French?” salt, who was visibly embarrassed, “ but this is so sudden!" A FEMININE OC- 1 CUPATION. A . %. Zz Visitor —" Don't AN EX-PERT. NeF ava you think it's hard on Bibbs —"1 just your daughter to run passed Miss Flyte, your that grain-drill out on typewriter. Is she an the prairie every day?” expert?” Western farmer— Gibbs —"She is “Why, I didn't think now. She got entire- it was anything un- ly too pert and I dise usual for a girl to do charged her.” plain sowing.” WHY LUKE HAS STOPPED LYING. Mrs. PLowup—‘* Do you ever use liquor, my man?" Mrs. PLowur—"' Then (bang /) I suppose it'll have to go to waste. I told Lyin’ Luxe—" No, lady; I never touches de vile stuff.” Jonathan I'd chuck that bottle away if I found it.”