Judge, 1901-05-25 · page 6 of 16
Judge — May 25, 1901 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Lallapaloosa Lou's Lingo"** uses racist dialect humor (common to the era) depicting an African American character boasting in exaggerated vernacular about his prowess at dancing, fighting, and barbering—reflecting period stereotypes while mocking Black vernacular speech patterns. **"No Escape" and "She Had Called Him Up"** are brief domestic comedy sketches about marital situations—a husband facing his wife's anger over spoiled bread, and criticism of telephone manners. **"Remarkable Situation"** presents an English visitor noting that Washington baseball players hold Senate positions—likely satirizing either nepotism in government appointments or the prominence of certain politicians involved in sports. **"When a Man Wishes He Had Never Been Born"** is a dark humor piece about a man learning his store burned overnight without insurance—commentary on financial vulnerability and poor planning. The page reflects Judge's typical blend of domestic satire, ethnic caricature, and political/social observation aimed at middle-class readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LALLAPALOOSA LOU'S LINGO. HITE folks, Ab'll int’ojuce to you Mahse’f—Ah’'m Lallapaloosa Lou. An’ while yo’s gazin’ note mah phiz— A mahogany lini’mints strong fo’ biz Ob poultry raisin’, craps, or dice. Ah'm so wa'm when Ah skate I melts de ice; At cake-walks, pahties, I's de rage, Ah okkerpies de centah ob de stage. An’ yo’ bet no jealous niggah ebbah dares to cut up rough, Kase Ah'm sassy wid a razzah an’ Ab al- lus calls a bluff. Ah am practiced wid dat weapon, as Ah runs a barber-shop, An’ when a coon “cuts loose at me it's a case ob choc'late-drop. Abs a brack Brummell an’ cuts a swell when down street or when up— Dose niggahs fade when Ah parade or git mah ‘' dandruff” up. Dis ain’ no “pipe” tale, folks an’ fren's, dat Ah's a-spillin’ you, On de word ob de unimpeachable peach dubbed Lallapaloosa Lou, NO ESCAPE, Cobwigyer—* What did your wife say when you told her she'd spoiled the bread >” Younghusband—* Told me to never mind, that she would make a bread- pudding of it for the next day.” SHE HAD CALLED HIM UP. Her MoTHer—** How are his table manners?” Ernet—" His table manners are all right, but his telephone manners are simply awful.” REMARKABLE SITUATION. se] HAVE discovered a most wemarkable fact, don't ye know,” said the visiting Englishman, “concerning the legislative customs of your country, which, Iam quite certain, has escaped our students of your manners and customs.” “ Ah!" replied the Ame: . And what is that?” ‘Sua pacha tuciercipa: ar adeueeN WIN eepeE NES “Why, that all the players in the Washington base-ball club are For close behind, with ill intent, the butter doth resent it. ex officio Senators.” LINN HLN HHH Mi; \ | STENT TTT Hint HET ttt Huey At AY ' i U aL TaN LAN fs , ATEN yt ) AAA aN y INNIS mk \ WHEN A MAN WISHES HE HAD NEVER BEEN BOKN: After hearing the fire-bells in the dead of night, he turns over and says: And then next morning goes down-town and sees the place where his store “Oh, let her burn! Just like as not, somebody's old wood-shed.” ‘once stood. (No insurance.) comicbooks.com