Judge, 1901-05-04 · page 4 of 11
Judge — May 4, 1901 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several distinct pieces of satirical content: **"Judge's Favorites"** features a woman in "The Climbers," a theatrical production, with a poem mocking her pretensions. **"The First of May"** is a poem satirizing moving day in New York, depicting the chaos and hardship of relocating—a common urban experience then. **"He Changed the Subject"** shows a domestic dialogue where a wife threatens automobile-related death if her husband won't listen to her concerns, satirizing marital dynamics. **"Where He Was Affected"** mocks a man claiming rheumatism while actually being a "frozen stiff" drunkard, exposing false excuses for intoxication. **"A Rubber Band"** is a cartoon showing what appears to be military or authority figures, though its specific reference is unclear. **"Lucubrations"** discusses wireless telegraphy's success and makes a medical joke about "palatable" health foods. The page reflects turn-of-century American social humor around domesticity, urban life, and contemporary technology.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BIZ. ONCE more the shaggy goat, Rampant upon the rock, Holds up with jocund note The mug of sparkling bock. The violet is blue Beside the plashing rill, The circus poster's due And eke the magic pill. All this the poet wakes And soon his pack’s un- rolled, And from the pile he takes The Christmas ode unsold. He fumigates it well, And on the song machine He changes it to sell To some big magazine. Which buys his ding-a-ling, So musical and gay, Recause it's just the thing For Decoration Day. wk, MUNKITTHICK, FOOLISH MAN. Photo, by Burr Melatosh. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. ° i palgriery He CLARA BLOODE IN ‘'THE CLIMBERS.” now that Smitl as bright books, gone insane?” white doubting we might meet some day Gowan—“No! fed in spirit, a8 in looks ; , : Sporty, yet tender; and though steadfast, gay. What was the cause?” HE CHANGED THE SUBJ In your stage portrait, Clara, shes ideal. : . ; But where, outside yourself, exists the real? Wango—" He tried Mr. Newywep —"* If — if I should be killed by this automobil 4 find Marie, I want no weeping at my funeral. I want everybody to be cheer- THE FIRST OF MAY. to find a reason for ping at my ybody HE beds are ta the moving-van, everything bis wile Mrs, Newnywep—" Nonsense, John, I shall have to weep a little 1 5 : just for the looks of the thing.” My shirts are in the frying pan, We eat from a tomato can, Upon the first of May. All bruised and bleeding is my wife, 's got the carving-knife, Strange pit-falls threaten limb and life Upon the first of May, ‘The grand piano 's in the rain, Our Rembrandt sports tobacco stain, Cook left, our silver in her train, Upon the first of May. The cat we tried to leave arrives, The soup-pot through the pier-glass dives ‘The baby quick develops hives, Upon the first of May, ‘Thus wrecked our happy homestead lies, And so my wife and I surmise WHERE HE WAS AFI We'll'move to mansions in the skies Mrs. FarMER—"' See here! I gave you a little alcohol to apply to your rheumatism and you are Ere ends the first of May. drinking it!” MC LANDAUEGH WILSON, Frozen Stvrr—"* Y-yes'm: LUCUBRATIONS, HE shortest cut to success is often the cutting of the throat of competition. It would be a great thing for woman if, instead of being as old as she looks, she could only look as young as she says she is. Now that wireless telegraphy appears to be a success, we may confidently look forward to the time that shall be famous be- cause of wire-pullerless politi WOULD SEEM SO. Crawford —" He is trying to get up a health food that is palatable.” Crabshaw —" That's ridicu- lous, The medical profession would never agree that anything “A RUBBER BAND." palatable was wholesome.” comicbooks.com