Judge, 1901-05-04 · page 10 of 11
Judge — May 4, 1901 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects satirical observations about gender relations and social behavior, typical of early 20th-century American humor. **Main content:** A series of witty aphorisms about courtship and marriage, attributed to a spinster (unmarried woman). The jokes target both sexes—men's deceptiveness, women's preoccupation with status ("Who is she?"), and mutual contradictions in attraction. Notable: the barb that attractive young women should hide their intelligence to marry, and that women ostracize other women they don't know well. **Side cartoons** include vignettes about Kentucky mountain feuds (still-active family vendettas), overcrowded streetcars, and philosophical musings on life's uncertainty. The dialect humor and rural stereotypes reflect period attitudes. **Overall tone:** Urbane, cynical mockery of courtship conventions and human nature, aimed at Judge's educated readership. The "spinster" voice provides social commentary while maintaining plausible deniability about who holds these views.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
REFLECTIONS OF A SPINSTER THE exigencies of many generations have made deceivers of men. An unselfish man craves to be loved, but a selfish man prefers loving Men accept a woman on her merit, but women always ask, “ Who is she?” A pretty young woman with ideas should keep them quiet if she desires to marry. No manis so interest- ing toa girl as the pro- hibited one with the bad reputation, Handsome men usu- ally attract women, but an ugly man fascinates them like a snake, A pessimist regrets his mis- takes, and is miserable. An op- Gus-DIRKS-~ _timist calls them experiences, and is happy. If a woman does not get acquainted with other women with whom she is more or Mr. Buc—" Run, Marie, run, the less thrown in contact, they very soon begin house is being struck by lightning.” to nudge each other when they see her, and . whisper, 1 Ong “There shegoes.”” vad acunt; CLOSE WORK. Gtapys—" Did he kiss you by surprise ? Er * Dear me, yes! Why, I hardly had time to pucker up my lips!" THRUST UPON THEM. Visitor (from the East)—" So the Diggers-Mil- dew feud is alive yet? But I thought the last of the Diggers died several months ago.” Native (ot Kentucky)—"He did, mister. He willed his hull estate to the white church down at the Corners, sah, The ministah didn’t want anything to do with the feud, but the deacons overruled him, and the church took up the feud along with Diggers’ othah property, jest where he left off, sab.” A COMMON EXPERIENCE. Crawford—* What do you do in the street cars so much ?” WORAVING OVER GIS FUTURE, Crabshaw—" Stand up most of the time. Harriep HAGAN —"* Dis paper sez dat w'en we die we'll change inter a animal er a bird er a fish." Scratcuy SAM—" Gee, Harried, you don't tink dey'd play it so low on us as ter change us inter a fish takin’ our continual bath, do yer?” THE UNCERTAINTY OF LIFE. HE individual who devoted many precious hours to the solution of the indissolvable problem of life was trying to discuss the question with ; the person who was too busy mak- ing the most of a good thing to monkey with what he was com- pelled to take as it came. PAN Ay “Life is very uncertain,” El : (\ sighed the individual. si ay * You bet it is," replied the | te see person with fine non- yg ‘ rN chalance. ; vl “Ah, you have observed that it was?” and the individual smiled as if in joy at finding another, Of course I have,” ex- plained the person, “I found out as early in youth as when I first learned to spell that half of ‘life’ + was*if’” Had you ever thought of that?” “Um—er—um," hesitated the individual, “Thank you.” , Moral.—Let us then be up and doing—some- Tum Buc Prince —"" My goodness! Look at that shoe Cinderella” Butterfl A FRIEND IN-KNEED. _ body. wuiian ). cssrron. dropped. She's from Chicago, sure." Comicbooks.com