Judge, 1901-04-13 · page 5 of 20
Judge — April 13, 1901 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine **Judge** collects several humor pieces and cartoons mocking courtship, marriage, and social conventions of the era (appears to be late 19th/early 20th century). **Key content includes:** - **"A Point in Law"**: A poem playing on legal terminology to joke that courtship resembles court proceedings—petty at times, but often requiring appeals (suggesting couples frequently reconsider their commitment). - **"Centipede" joke**: Wordplay on a 100-foot race called "the centipede"—the humor plays on the insect's many legs. - **Chinese prince suicide jest**: Dark satire suggesting coffee is slow poison (common contemporary complaint about coffee's effects). - **Hans the saloon-keeper**: Immigrant character (indicated by accent) who plies friends with drinks now so they'll attend his funeral later—gallows humor about building loyalty through alcohol. - **"Reflections of a Spinster"**: Cynical observations on bachelor life and marriage's double standards. The overall tone mocks marriage, courtship rituals, immigrant accents, and contemporary anxieties about modern life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A POINT IN LAW. IS COURTSHIP con- sidered a high court or low? You ask in good faith and I an- swer in kind That it honestly might be styled either Ttrow, By any law-student of erudite mind. It is in some instances petty indeed, So little’s involved that I very much doubt If ‘twould be worth the while of a sane man to plead— A judge self-respecting would throw the case out Yet sometimes in courtship the court is supreme, If you estimate it by the bliss that one feels ; But judged by the pleading required T deem ‘That courtship's more often a court-of-appeals ! MOY VARRELL GREENE. NAMED. Secretary — What shall 1 call the one hundred foot foot- . we os TRIFLING DELAY, race for the dollar prize ?” qaen= Good-bye, old chap! A brief season of honeymoon, and then we shall come home, settle down and Manager—" Oh, enter it as OLETINER—"* Oh, it will take a little longer than that. You'll have to wait till you've raised all your children, got them the centipede.” all married and over their honeymoons, before you'll be ready to settle down and enjoy life.” HIS PREFERENCE, VING extended to the Chinese prince the official inv tion to commit suicide, we asked him, tentatively, what method he fancied. “A lingering one,” he replied. We pressed him for details. “T think I shall commit suicide by slow poison,” he said at length. “Say by drinking two cups of coffee per diem.” MAKING HIMSELF POPULAR, Friend (to saloon - keeper) —* Why do you treat your friends so often, Hans ?” Hans —" Vell, yer see, I vant ash many of dem ash pos- sible to surrount mine pier ven.I'm det und gone, und I tfought maype dey might pe more apt to do it if Tox dem to surrount some of it ven I'm still alife. See?” REFLECTIONS OF A SPINSTER. A bachelor of long standing never makes a successful husband. Lvery man is anx- $ if NK 4 ious to protect a { ) : pretty woman against eae yy Sut all men save himself. bi AU A.“ magdalen " ' +1 gan and a “man of the world” earn their ap- pellations in exactly the same manner. It jarsa man awfully to have his bachelor friend elaborately commend a virtue in his wife which the husband . — knows only too well she does NOIMECE NEEDED. Proressor Froc—*" Gée! what Mr. Urrercur —'' Help the blind? W'ot's de use? Its got shall I do—study or eat ?" HOt, | possess. vava acnew. him knocked out widout any Betp.” be Cus opast