Judge — April 13, 1901 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PHIL MAY'S PICTITIOUS TIME-KEEPING. Phil May has been telling the story of his early life. One story he tells with character- istic humor. ‘*At twelve,” he writes, ‘I was appointed time-keeper in a large iron-foundry, and was delighted with the office; but the foundry-masters were not quite so satisfied. At Champagne first they were surprised at the great punctuality AMERICA'S BEST Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That's All! of the entire staff of workmen; later they sim- ply marveled at its continuance, and finally they discovered that I kept the time-book on a system of my own, E PARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR, United States Patent Office, Washingtor price May 2d, 1901, and will be immediately opened therdatter, lor producing during the fiscal yearend-| THE WILSON DISTILLING Co. Ing June sath, sora, by the photolithographic process, Baltimore, Ma. copies of drawings ot the weekly issues of patents, Gehigns, trade-marks, and pending applications, for the Feproduction of exhausted. copies of ‘drawings| “SHOES.”. Grawings on a reduced scale for the library edition of patents, and for the production of the Official Gazette, Specifications and specimens, with forms of proposal will be furnished on application to the Chief Clerk of the Patent Office. Proposals must be sealed and red." Proposals for Photolithographic Work, P: ‘All bidders are invited to be prese: ning. WaAtreR H, Cuastoantin, Acting missioner. and specifications, for the reproduction of foreign patents and publications, for producing copies of Tocluding all indexes therefor ; also, for suite Wi Id F; Mi i i T i IS ntvsotogranse, pooogrartect cevens| WONG FAMOUS Marlanl Tonic It improves the appetite and also has a remarkable effect in strengthening the voice The Chinaman, whose taste is neat, Admires his ladies’ lily feet : mbo, who has larger views, Delights in Dinah's ample shoes, We all on this conviction rest— ‘The shoes we stand in are the best; Nor do we—let the fact be faced— Think much of other people's taste. and maintaining its tone. It is largely Yet, after all, the world is wide, And most things have another side. We might hold very different views, Standing in other people's shoes. —E£. F. Howard, Church—""1 see some of the theatres are reducing their prices.” Gotham —"Yes; it looks as if a fellow would be able pretty soon| singers and actors. to see a twenty-five-cent show in New York for only fifty cents."— Yonkers Statesm employed by clergymen, lawyers, teachers, All Druggists, Refuse Substitutes. Gold Seal at your club and cal6. It is for sate everywhere. CAUTION! Patrons are cautioned to beware of charged wines soid as champage: URBANA WINE CO., Sole Makers, URRANA, NEW TORK, Is there anything more nonsensical than your poetry?" asked the very candid friend, Dee *+Oh, yes," responded the great magazine ed- $750.00. itor. | We are going to publish love-letters of éaztt ngtest peacilcal Electste"veticheise are fo , arket. famous men."—Chicago News, i) It erabodies every good device found ia modern Auto conveyances. RUNABOUT—Style A. THE “SOHMER” HEADS THE LIST OF THE HIGHE:! ce Seca teteae Maa” mest complete GRADE PIANGG : 4 { saneeeok ever pubiiahed og the ‘Mlustrated pamphlet mailed free toany address subject of Automobiles. SOHMER cs ie img. WEES iI The National Autmoble & Elect Go " A 224d St., Indianapolis, Ind. Sohmer Building, — 2ri7,Sseg0" | Sth Ave. cor. 22d St. York. ° ey - car conductor (briskly) —"* Come, come! “You haven't given me your fare.” Mrs, Maginty (wrathfully)—"" No, an’ Oi ain't a-goin’ ter, aither! Yer blame fool trolley y AW A \ : HAW A ' y motorman hez been a-shtartin’ an’ a-shtoppin’ fbr? Zz aor i PA ay” Bound av this here car so sudden loike thot he's ay | ; Volumes gone an’ made me shwallow me last nickel."— Brooklyn Eagle, of ELECTRIC BATHS, Vibratory Massage, ‘and i ints. Consultation frec. Clreulars. DAL, NOEL, 41 West 334 Street, New York. Every copy of Jupag for 1900 in two volumes, substantially bound in cloth, with gilt edg- ing, express prepaid anywhere in the United States, for $9.00. Send orders promptly. Judge Publishing Co. 110 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK. English department (haughti- not in my vocabulary." Grad- “Where do you keep it, then?” WHERE ITS BEAUTY LAY. d Lampoon. , LAY. : ee ladies, iss ze bedstead of ze infanta Phileep, Dook de Fiesole of ze EUROPEAN TOUR. | time off de Medicis.’ Aunt Martita—** Law sakes, ain't it nice? Ain't no place fora burglar under there.” THE RESORTER. OPERA and FIELD GLASSES~ Gols mete) Paris,1000 Made under the pétrorege of the famous Astronomer. Faultiess construction, grest power. Prom $5.00 up. See thet the nome “Flammarion” Ie on each glass Rays Deserts [SE EIS pew reen comicbooks.com