Judge — April 6, 1901 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AWAKENING. ELL nigh a million dollars I possess, ‘A mansion in the city, too, is mine, In very high society I shine, A dozen servants have I, I confess ; Rare books and pictures bring me happiness, My broughams are the best, my horses fine, Off plates of solid silver do I dine— The luxuries that are mine are numberiess. How full my life of gladness, aye, of bliss, What great and glorious sthemes did I direct, (Alas, they're all in camphor on the shelf!) When at the endof March I dreamt all this ; But then I'm sure that no one will object Since the great “*April fool was on myself ! NATHAN AL LEVY. EGGSPERT ADVICE. E, PENN., March 17, 1901. Hirro—“ Say, Mr. Fisher, we're gettin’ tired of Dear sir—-Should Mrs. Nation, when Worms. Can't you send us down some plum-puddin’ ?” she visits New York, give you a call, offer . _ F bier ais egyy aiid see ber hatchet, HAT the Chinese literature lacks in works of Respectfully humor it makes up in treaties edited by Li W. WINDER. Hung Chang. Photo, by Rose & Sands, JUDGE'S FAVORITES. EDYTHE SKERRETT, IN ‘SAG ILARTOR.” "Mid old Sag Harbor’s mixed and motley crew, ray of charm and daintiness you threw. Your counterfeit presentment now can bring Remembrances and sweetness of the Spring. Tn which we duly bask—and, since it’s you, Forgive your spelling Edythe as you do. SHE'S FOOLING THEE! “(hp F YOU ask my hand, and heart, HTT And I say **'Tis best we part !” If you vow you love me so, And I whisper softly ‘* No!" If I say “Til be to you Just a sister "—'tisn’t true ! If you care for what I say, You're an April fool to-day! 2 If you plead, and plead with me, And I say it cannot be ! If you sadly say, * Good-bye !” Can't you see my roguish eye? If you turn to go away, Don't you know I'd haye you stay? If you think all's said and done, Can't you guess that I'm in fun? If you care for what I say,” UTTER DEVOTION. You're an April fool to-« 3 * Ts he quite infatuated with you? . : La ToVCHR HAXe Oh, utterly! He got off a car to speak to me yesterday when he was going to a ball-game.” WHERE HE FAILED. S6P)ID you get your promo- tion ?” asked a friend of a warrant officer in the navy. “No,” was the answer, given in a tone of disgust. “What was the trouble? I'm sure you could pass the ex- amination.” “That's just where I missed it, Barely got through with the two-step, but flunked completely in the waltz.” BEYOND A DOUBT. The wife (during a lull in their quarrelsome existence) — “T have just finished reading an article on the subject, ‘ Does Hell Exist?" There seems to be a great diversity of opinion. What is your belief?” The husband —"\t is not ‘meet to express one’s convictions ’ a on that theme before everybody, THE FIRST"TO'SHOE. but "—with the approval of his Fanser—"* Call your husband, quick, I want him to shoe my horse.” epasclence —T between you and BLAcKsMIvH’s Wire —"“All right, sir, but yust vate till he gits troo mit shoen der chickens." me, I believe it does.” comicbooks.com