Judge — February 23, 1901 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE 4 WEEK AT THE JUDGE BUILDING. Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AMD CANADA IH ADVANCE, ‘One copy, One copy. : “Tectuding the Caisrmas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS — To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 a year. 1a nager, Boyce building, Chicage. sal mews company Br idding, Chancery lane, venue del Opera, Paris; Saarbach's mews exchange, Main, CORNER FIFTH AVENUE AND SIXTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. 27 Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. Ee NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoos are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. RRR AAS [TJ ENNIEL leaves Punch alter fifty years of service on that paper. How will the average English reader know, without his pencil to indicate, which are the jokes and which the seri- ous matter of the paper? THE LAST words of the queen are said to have been an earnest appeal to Edward and the kaiser to preserve the peace. They promised to do so as far as they were concerned, but no response was received from South Africa. ICHARD VAUX of Philadelphia was the only man who ever danced with the queen, and she gave him that honor at her corona- gt tion ball. He has been dead several years, and to her death is due the resurrection of the incident. ° CERTAIN PARTS of the far west are found to be inhabit- ed by thousands of moose, whose appearance is sudden and mysterious. We have no doubt this is one result of ‘Teddy's hunting experiences. The influ- ence of that man is as boundless as the prairie itself. | F HOPKINSON 11TH says “Uncle Tom's Cab- in” was not a fair book and that it undoubtedly brought about the civil war. Mr. Smith ought now to see if he can’t have that little affair in the garden of Eden resurrected in order to destroy it in some other way. ONE OF THE MOST important things at this period is the apprehen- sion and punishment of Pat Crowe, and if fifty thousand dollars won't bring it about’the banks ought to open their doors to suit some detective with brains in his head, The fact that this scoundrel is in com- munication with the Cudahys, making their lives miserable with apprehen- sion, is shameful. Cus-pinks 92, wil! we TICK-T BUG-BURGLAR- we'd better not break T hear somebody wor! HOWELL of the Atlanta Constitution has a sure cure for If you can’t sleep,” says the captain, “get up and take adrink. If at the end of another half hour you are still awake get up and take another. Keep this up for a time, and if finally you are not asleep you won't care whether you are or not.” This remedy has been tried for many years down south, and it is claimed that it has been found to be infallible, MO8SIGNOR SETON, the eminent Scottish-American prelate of the Roman church, is credited with a bon mot which may have general application. A countrywoman of his was indulging in extravagant over- praise of Macaulay as a historian, whereupon the clergyman remarked protestingly, “But, my dear madam, Macaulay did not write history.” “Indeed?” was the scornful reply. Then, pray, what did he write?” “Why, he simply wrote Aés-story.” Ml A “NATION”-AL HOLIDAY. ASHINGTON’S BIRTHDAY may be celebrated in some Kansas towns this year by the precipitate closing of what Mrs, Carrie Na- tion calls “joints.” She does it with her little axe. SOMNAMBULISTIC STUNTS. A YOUNG MAN in Illinois walked twenty miles while asleep. A young man from Minnesota—his name is Charles A. Towne, and for a brief pericd he stood in the shoes of the late Cushman K. Davis in the’ United States senate—made a speech twenty thousand words long while in a dream; and it was a very bad dream, at that. THAT PIECE OF FAMILY PLATE. {R TOM LIPTON sends word from England that his new challenger yacht, the Shamrock II, promises to be excessively speedy, and that he will be over here with her later in search of “that little piece of family plate,” the America’s cup. Commodore Bill Hohenzollern of Germany also promises to comic over and see the races if he can get away from his em- peror business for a few weeks. Evidently William doesn’t believe he will ever see the cup on that side of the Atlantic. MALICIOUS MISCHIEF. E ABILITY of Pettigrew as a mischief-maker is fairly demon- strated by his action in the senate the other day in bringing to light a decument twenty years old which set Senators Haw- ley and Chandler to calling each other liars and all man- ner of bad things. The matter treated by the docu- ment has long been closed, and there was no possible reason for reopening it except to cre- ate trouble and bad blood. Evidently Pet- tigrew enjoyed the effect hugely, how- ever, as he does the making of mischief on all possible occasions. T MAYOR VAN WYCK AS A MARTYR, Mayor VAN WYCK of New York will have to be put down as a martyr to his sympa- thies and a Quixotic slave to prece- dent. In the first place, he is pas- sionately devoted to the cause of the Boers, because he is of Boer—or at least boorish — stock himself. Last summer he grew sick with worry over the terrible increase of infant mortality in the tenement districts of this city, ow- ing to the scarcity of ice, which the perfect- ly innocent trust in which he held a big slice of stock had forced up to prohibitive prices. And now the poor little man is suffering from the criticism of all his decent fellow-citizens just be- cause, remembering a “precedent” which everybody else forgot, he refused to permit the lowering of the municipal flags in token of respect and mourning for Queen Victoria. Really, so sensitive and punctilious a creature as Van Wyek is not fit to be mayor. VERBALISM ON THE POLICE-FORCE. LFRED AYERS, author of “The Verbalist” and other text-books making for the correct and refined use of the English idiom, had occasion recently to administer a reproof to a New York policeman, The colloquy is reported as follows: Mr. -lyers—"1 am constrained to call your attention to the flagrant violation of a city ordinance.” The police- an old guy like you ought to be home in bed instead of out on de ave chewin’ de rag wid a cop.” Mr. Ayers— But I am simply directing your notice to a matter which should lie within the province of your official observation.” Tie policeman—*G'wan, now—g’wan! I've had enough chin-music from you—see?” Mr. Ayers—"I shall insist that you take cognizance of my technical complaint.” Tie policeman—* G'wan, T tell you, or I'll run you Mr. Ayers—"1 prefer not to bring the matter to that issue, though logically your position is quite untenable, to say nothing of your grossly inapt choice of expressions. But such inso- lence must not go unpunished. You will please give me your numeral.” The policeman gave the verbalist a number, which proved to be wrong: but the complainant subsequently identified the offender, before whom Nemesis now looms up. When the magistrate shall pronounce judgment upon that policeman let us hope his sentence will be a correct one, ICK! -sh! I guess this house yet. king inside.” comicbooks.com