Judge, 1901-02-09 · page 4 of 16
Judge — February 9, 1901 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces targeting early 1900s American life: **"His Absentmindedness"** mocks a farmer (Farmer Hornbeak) who absent-mindedly hangs himself on his own bed post, confusing it with his spectacles—absurdist humor about rural forgetfulness. **"His Disappointment"** references William Jennings Bryan's newspaper, satirizing readers expecting patent medicine testimonials from famous figures like Senator Pettigrew, suggesting gullible public appetite for celebrity endorsements. **"Pay for the Long Wait"** depicts a customer complaining about restaurant overcharges and slow service, typical Progressive-era criticism of urban dining establishments. The cartoons employ working-class characters and domestic situations to critique American consumer culture, rural simplicity, and commercial dishonesty—recurring Judge magazine themes targeting both elite deception and common-folk naïveté.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TWO SINS. IIE sin I did for Love's sake Lies in the soul of me, And lights me far as some white star Whose strength is purity. The sin I did for Hate’s sake — Ah, heart, that this should be— Has bound the feet that would be fleet, The eyes that fain would see. THRODOSIA PICKERING GARRISON. HIS DISAPPOINTMENT. Farmer Lunkhead —“\'m kinder disapp'inted in William Jennin’s Bryan's new paper.” Farmer Neckwhiskers—" What's the matter with it, Lafe ?” Farmer Lunkhead —"* Wa-al, 1 ex- pected to find in i: somethin’ like patent- medicine testimonials signed by Croker, James K. Jones, Senator Pettigrew, Alpha- bet Belmont, and them fellers, tellin’ how they'd been cured of somethin’ or other." JUDGE'S FAVORITES. ANNA HELD, ‘They couldn't play against he hand that Anna Held: Her charm and fame in beauty’s game ‘All competition quelled. Who shall begrudge her winning? None! ‘The game was hearts, and played for fun. ON OCCASION. WHEN a wife asks a husband blunt questions, Of course he'll respond as he can, sir; But I make the suggestion Don't answer the question— For she’s likely to question the answer. HIS ABSENTMINDEDNESS, +6] HAVE always considered that my Uncle Luther Gapperson was just about the absentmindedest man I ever seen,” id honest Farmer Hornbeak. “ F’rinstance, I recollect, one time when he started in to. write a letter, he hummed and hawed in a nervous man- ner for quite a spell, and then asked me where I s'posed he had put his spectacles; and when I answered that they were on his nose he wanted to know if I had any idee where he'd put his nose. Then, after he had finally got started, he mumbled for a while and presently inquired if I recol- Wir, Duckuinc —* My goodness, how cold Willie Toad must be, See the goose-flesh on hi lected what John Smith's first name Disgusted guest —" You wrote that you had ample accommodations for was, and, bime-bye, _me—this room is a mere closet.” after I had informed him, he wanted to know if I thought that that ‘particular Smith was the Jones that had run off with Brown's wife a year or so before. “And, at last, he came home one night and carefully hung himself on the bed- post with his suspenders, inad- vertently mistakin’ himself for his pants. Yes, I am sanguine that Uncle Luther could have given ‘most any- body else I ever knew cards and . oo , spades and then PAY FOR THE LONG WAIT. STILL IN THE GAME, beat ‘em all holler Customer—" What right have you to charge such high prices? Why, con- Sux —" John, I've called you till I'm tired.” 5. abgentminded- (Udit! T can get better food and better cooking in cheap restaurants,” He. (drovesify)—"* Tha'sh all right s‘long as you fF absentminded- Me a NeW watreR—" Yes, but those cheap places don't take so much time to get don't raise me.” Ness.” you r, soxcas. your order ready.” Landlord—" Well now, you sce, sir, 1 thought you was a smaller man.” comicbooks.com