Judge — January 19, 1901 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Se age | Hy Sidge- PUBLISHED ONCE 4 WEEK AT THE JUDGE BUILDING. Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AMO CANADA It ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or $2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 3.50 ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks» == 1.35 Including the Cunistmas Juocs. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS — To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 Henry Bright, Internati mal aewes company, Bred oP Optra, Paris: Saavbach's mews exchange, Ba my. CORNER FIFTH AVENUE AND SIXTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. €27 Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly In the world. PUBLISHERS.—The contents of June nd Great Britain. Infringement of this protected by copyright in pyright will be promptly and NDIANA had better stop her lynchings or go south and grow up with the country. and the outside saloon are, in brief, the difference be- isky and bad whisky. THE CANTE! : tween good w! IF THE CADETS at West Point must fight, there ought to be rules prohibiting several hun- dred of them pitching into one boy. ME: BRYAN will prob- ably find it more prof- itable to be president of the Commoner than to serve the United States in that capacity. MAx!Mo GOME sometimes a grand old hero, At other times— well, he talks about driv- ing the American foreign devils out of Cuba by force of arms. eee Gev is RNOR PIN- GREE has formally withdrawn from the Repub- lican party, and to begin with has real whisky at his public dinners, and not of the best kind either. SADIE MARTINOT writes in a Christmas a “In the sanct- uary of my heart is enshrined my be- loved.” If none of the happy men are ex- ! i The hunter ts comi cluded the sanctuary must be crowded to re- papier a sore pletion. guised, you know.” TO DETECT the new counterfeit five-dollar bill—first secure your fiver, and the rest is comparatively simple. Observe the engraving of the Indian’s head, and if there is a cynical smile on his lips he is a bad one, only to be passed off on’some one who is easy and can afford it. THE GOOD CITIZENS of Sing Sing, New York, talk of changing the name of their town to Ossining; but wrongdoers who are forced by circumstances and the officers of the law to take up a more or less pro- tracted residence there will find the old place practically the same as of yore. Z=NATOR DAVIS, who recently died, is credited with these words by a western paper—" These United States must not be estopped from the defense of its own canal or the maintenance of public order.” Thus the senator gave both the singular and the plural in this often-disputed sentence, but we don’t believe that was the cause of his departure. J says Mr. Kruger. . W IGHTING for arbitration to-da: The fighting is successful enough to warrant a hope of inde- pendence, and if John Bull isn’t informed of the real purpose he will pres- ently begin to think that he is going to get whipped and will accordingly throw to the dogs the victory and peace he has so ardently claimed. Gusinns-B GQ AFTER THE BALL WAS OVER. Mrs, Ranntt (coming home from balt)— What's the difference? He won't recognize us—we're dis- “HOBSON'S CHOICE.” < OUTSIDE of a few kissed-out kisses, the rewards promised Naval-con- structor Hobson for his conspicuous heroism at Santiago seem to be as far from substantial materialization as the once-talked-of “ permanent” Dewey arch. THE METHOD MOST NEEDED. R. CLEVELAND gives rules for the resurrection of the Democratic party; but he doesn’t mention the most important method of all—to buy off Mr. Bryan or take him out in the woods and lose him. Of course the populists and other cranks ought to be destroyed, but perhaps they can be coaxed to stay with themselves and attend to their own politics, LONG NAME, BUT GOOD WORK. THE WOMEN’S AUXILIARY to the society for the preservation of scenic and historic places and objects has undertaken to rescue and rehabilitate Fraunce’s tavern in New York, the scene of Washington's farewell to his officers after the war of the revolution. The place to-day is a squalid, commonplace, modern-looking lager-beer saloon. If the ladies succeed in restoring to something like its former dignity and picturesque- ness this Mecca of American patriotism they will achieve one of the noblest jobs of house-cleaning ever recorded to the credit of the tidy sex. POETS, TRY MEXICO. THE SPANISH LANGUAGE is so rhythmical and sonorous that in the Castilian idiom poetry practically composes itself, and fine writing in prose is easy. Thus in Mexico, during the thirty years of peace that have ensued upon the fall of the E empire, a galaxy of poets has sprung up and created an already flourishing national literature. The Mexican government encourages Ameri- can immigration, too. We of- fer these suggestions to about fourteen thousand JuDGE contributors for what they are worth. THE POETIC IM- POSSIBLE. HERBERT VIVIAN, an English traveler and writer, wrote to the London Saturday Review some months ago: “Tadmire your attitude to- ward the group of revolting colonies, which, please God, will one day return to their al- legiance. Let Spain have South America, but let us restore our dominion from Alaska to Flor- ida.” Why do men with pretty names generally have such a bad habit of being un- reasonable and violent, ad- “My goodness! what shall 1 do? vocating the impossible and attaching themselves forcibly to the totally un- expected? Think of all Mr. Vivian expects—the voluntary return of the Boers to English alle- giance, the recapture of South America by Spain, and the restoration to England of our territory from Alaska—which she never had—to Florida! Why, the man will be looking: for the restoration of Eden to Adam and Eve next. SHELDONIZED JOURNALISM. R SINCE the reverend Mr, Sheldon tried his sensational but pro- fane experiment of running a Topeka, Kansas, newspaper for a week on what he alleged to be true Christian principles other clergymen in various parts have shown occasional disposition to follow “in his steps.” JUDGE would suggest a reciprocal extension of this plan, whereby secular j sts might try their hands at conducting religious and goody-goody Papers once in a while. For instance, William R. Hearst and Joseph Pulitzer would surely stir up things on Zion's Herald and the Lutheran Observer, while the respective and respectable editors of those pious week- lies were getting out purified Sunday supplements to the New York yellow journals. The Police Gazette might take on Edward W. Bok, while its own sporty scribes proceeded to Philadelphia and edited a banner number of the Ladies’ Home Journal. Should these interesting shake-ups be tried and prove successful, we might be induced to consider the proposition of letting the reverend Dr. Parkhurst take a whirl at JUDGE. comicbooks.com