Judge, 1901-01-12 · page 7 of 16
Judge — January 12, 1901 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents cynical observations about women and marriage through satirical text and cartoons, typical of early 20th-century American humor. **"Reflections of a Spinster"** offers biting commentary on gender relations—suggesting marriages fail because men deceive women with false delicacy before marriage, then reveal their true nature after. The piece satirizes both genders: women's quarrels are permanent while men's conflicts become friendships; great men lose mystique upon close inspection. **"Only Heard Of"** uses irony to mock the "ideal woman" (domesticated, skilled, selfless, never wanting the last word)—claiming she exists only in imagination. This criticizes both unrealistic male expectations and the impossibility of meeting them. The cartoons show street characters, a conductor scene, and notably **"A Trifling Delay,"** depicting a convict (likely imprisoned for violent crime) telling a philanthropist he'll join church once he finishes killing rivals who betrayed him—dark humor mocking both criminal culture and charitable do-gooders' naiveté. The humor reflects early 1900s attitudes: cynicism about gender, class, and urban life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
REFLECTIONS OF A SPINSTER. NSTEAD of making man’s body beautiful God gave woman great ideality. Marriages would be happier if Cupid used a sight- gun instead of a bow and arrow. If Socrates had been God he would probably have given a man good sense at twenty instead.of a beard. One of Satan's favorite pastimes is watching a wo- man of questionable charatter pretending to be'either dignified or religious. A difficulty between two men is often the prelude to a warm friendship; but when two women quarrel they never speak to each other again, Love so increases a man’s delicacy that the woman in the case is completely deceived. After acquisition and marriage, when the man becomes again his normal self, disillusionment sets in and marriage 1s a failure. The greatness of a great man steadily decreases the nearer you approach to him. ‘The list of immortal names would be considerably longer if men died while : : the public still believed in their greatness, No man ON THE WAY TO BAXTER STREET. can endure years of public scrutiny. Grow great and 1. Mx. Courx—"' Led me hgld some of dose barcels, Mrs. Squintsheimer, You'll fall vhen ve then die is a good motto. To try to keep up an unnat- go arount der coive right av: res I é Mas, SQUINTSHVIMER—" Never mindt,.t'ang you, Misder Cohen, I shall be aple to manach, Ural standard only results if failure and regret. alretty.” YADA AGNEW. ONLY HEARD OF, ‘ WE HAVE heard of a woman who hated to shop, Who rather at home with her children would stop, As it made her life completer; Who dressed in her best for her husband’s delight, Not only her callers to charm with the sight— But we have yet to meet her. We have heard of the woman whenever she threw A stone she would hit, for her aim was so true, And at ball was a good all-rounder ; Who could sharpen her pencils to beautiful points, Could carve pp a turkey, dividing the joints— But' we have never found her. Again, there’s a woman of whom we have heard, Who never was anxious to have the last word In dispute or conversation; + Who never found fault though her husband was wrong, But made of his life a grand, beautiful song— She was born in imagination, beets, A TRIFLING DELAY. Ct 5 re en! After you get out of here wouldn't r % to come and join our church and teach a class in Sunday-school, and "— Coxvicr—"* Yes, lady, I will—jess as soon as I kin kill Spike Hennessy an’ Kid McGurk, w’ot peached on me an’ put me here.” Jounnre Binp—"* Say, mamma, the butcher says he don’t keep worm- chops.”