Judge — December 22, 1900 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE SOUVENIR SLIPPER, Another reply came the next day: “Drums already gone by freight.” “They won't get here before New Year's,” groaned Mr. Durlington. Then he forcibly exuded a quantity of breath and rang up a friend in the nearby town of Bigg- port by telephone. “Buy me three good drums, and send “em down by to-night’s train,” he said; “the drums here are no good, and the boys have been promised.” He waited at his office until the express had been brought up from the night train. There were no drums from Biggport. Then, rendered desperate, he rushed to the Toggleville fair store, and purchased the last three drums in stock. He carried them home, and threw them disgustedly into the woodshed. “You look tired, dear,” said Mrs. Durlington, as he sat down to supper. THE SELF-ADVERTISING QUACK. “Tam tired,” said Mr, Durlington frankly. “The lack Faith jours: Devel an of management and systematic attention to detail prev: Sai if son aie, that proves ee Guacke= ing in the average mercantile establishment is maddening.” And if you don't, my big bill will. «T have noticed it,” said Mrs. Durlington. The front door bell rang at this juncture, and simultaneously a rapping sounded upon the side door. Mr. Durlington went to the front door, Mrs, Durlington went to the side door, while Master Willy Durlington, happening to remember an item of unfinished business, stepped out at the back door, Two minutes later they returned. Mr. Durlington bore in his arms three drums, Mrs, Dur- lington also carried three drums, and Master Willy ‘The bride was lovely as a dream : - was similarly burdened. ‘The wedding bells like wild were rung. ~ “That durn fool at Biggport sent ‘em down by As the happy pair went down the stair, Sf the brakeman,” said Mr. Durlington savagely, giv- Slippers and rice were daly flung. f ing no heed to the fact that the family was not in- 7 formed regarding the circumstances. A TALE OF DRUMS. : “The expressman delivered these,” said Mrs. «6 ]F there is any one season of the year when manage- 4 Durlington sweetly. “He said they got them out ment and systematic attention to detail are abso- 7 Of the freight office just in time to catch the night lutely required,” said Mr. Durlington impressively, “it is 7 k. 20 express. | — the happy Christmas time.” \ r “I found these in the woodshed,” said Master “Yes, dear,” assented Mrs. Durlington faintly. She \WaRAGge Sy Willy with a gladsome whoop. . . was lying upon the lounge, with her head swathed in cloths. : Na | “You have forgotten the tree entirely, haven't “You have simply exhausted yourself,” continued you, dear?" asked Mrs. Durlington, Mr. Durlington, “in your efforts to buy a few presents t “Nine drums!" shouted Master Willy.“ Hur- and arrange a small tree for the children. It is quite rah! Come on, boys!" woe ridiculous. If you had applied the most ordinary of busi- “No one has eaten a mouthful,” said Mrs. ness principles to the matter there would not have been Durlington, glancing at the table. the slightest difficulty.” Ee __ “I believe,” said Mr. Durlington, after a few Mrs, Durlington moaned softly. - minutes of dazed inactivity, “that I'll go to bed. “1 shall shoulder the load myself next year,” wi 1 seem to have a headache.” . Mr. Durlington. “It will be as nothing to me. You will _“You have simply exhausted yourself, dear, see how perfectly easy it is for the trained business man aavtectenttald Mrs. Durlington. “It is quite ridiculous. Such to bear such a bagatelle.” . a bagatelle!” ; So lovely of you,” aiutewuted’ Mra Deatngtoal Mr. Durlington smiled; he could not help it. Christmas time came around again presently, and ; But he said nothing; he had nothing to say. Mr. Durlington announced his intention of buying drums PAVID Me TALMADGR. for the three boys. ‘ 3 NO USE FOR IT. “There is nothing in the stores here,” said he, “that The bridesmaid for remembrance keeps Storekeeper — Christmas tree? Yes, sir. Here is good enough. They must have something substantial. Her miniature, set in gald. is something I can recommend. Warranted non- I shall send to the city for what I want, and I shall pay But | as dear a souvenir— inflammable.” no more for really good instruments than I would pay for ___ ler miniature slipper !—hold. Ichelberg—" Dake it away! Ton't you dink 1 worthless ones here in Toggleville.” vant to gompine pisness mit bleasure?” He dispatched his order a full week before Christmas, and thought no more of the matter for five days. Then, the drums not appearing, he permitted a trace of annoy- ance to show upon his face. “1 shall wire,” he announced, and did so. A reply came. It said: “ Drums go forward by freight to-morrow.” He wired again, ordering the drums by express. RABBIT-HUNTING IN RICHMOND BOROUGH. bridesmaid doesn't know Nimrod Manhattan, with his terriers two, ee ae indeed, the aie fain ‘Went hunting rabbits, Staten Island way. " wre He tramped all day, then found some—in a stew, ‘To say by stealth) who drank her health Ata Grant restaurant francais, Once, in a slipper of champagne! COPYMGNT 1900 BY JUDGE COMPANY OF MEW YORK. Sackett & Witbeles Litho & Pit Co New York comicbooks.com