Judge — November 17, 1900 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

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PERHAPS now the Democratic party can get back its wigwam; and if it does let us hope it will know enough to hang on to it. sik ARTHUR SULLIVAN may be very ill, but he,has no business to die till he has fitted another opera to another Gilbert play. T IS NOT at all surprising that the Chinese should butcher white women. Women are the only kind of enemy fitted to their peculiar prowess. THE DOWAGER EMPRESS of China will live four hundred years and then die when her death will do nobody any good. That kind always does. se CONAN DOYLE ran for parliament and was de- feated. The doctor, however, has material for a new ro- mance with a good deal of truth in it in his experiences, HE, KAISER tells the crown prince that he must look largely to religion for his refuge; but he adds quietly that he mustn't forget to be accompanied by his army. ENGLAND boasts of a pump- kin that weighs one hun- dred and eight pounds; but it is mere weight. It needs Ameri- can winds and temperature to raise pump- kins. LET US HOPE that the man who pro- poses to send two vessels to the north pole will not send the relief expedition first. Otherwise it might be necessary to send three vessels. GTANCHFIELD and Hill are out. It is about money, of course, and Stanchfield is to blame. Croker appointed Hill to collect money, and Stanchfield contributed to the Croker pot and said nothing to Hill about it. THE CHINESE want to present burnt offerings in atonement for the murder of the German minister. There are a large number of Chi- nese statesmen who can easily be spared, and the kaiser naturally prefers their heads. ATOR HANNA says women must not vote because there are men enough to run politics without their help. If all who petitioned for atheir rights were answered with such logic as that justice would be as strange to this earth as the angels in heaven. COUNTY in Kentucky got up a prohibition ticket and appointed a lawyer to file the nomination-papers; but before he did so the lawyer got drunk and when he got sober it was too late. This is absurd enough; but the absurdity of a prohibition ticket in Kentucky is suffici- ently palpable of itself. P.s.—Or any other ticket with the purpose of an honest vote. Ants—"* Great heavens! the city is being bombarded.” A POLICE JUDGE of Kansas city says he is in favor of compelling ali women to wear"short skirts. The little matter of personal liberty ought to be urged against this man; but he doubtless thinks that would be an infringement on his own, All! E. SAID the Rochester university was bribed to co-education by a gift of fifty thousand dollars raised: by Miss Anthony. The Troy Press says: “Tue comment of Junce is fust and peculiarly pertinent. A university that exacts a price to extend opiortunities to women is deplorably deficient in ordinary gallantry, and reveals a mercenariness that gives density to its moral atmosphere.” The Rochester Democrat doesn’t like our way of putting the fact, though without the money the college wouldn't grant the co-education, and with it it did. “Co-education’at the university of Rochester,” it says, “was a business proposition. ‘The university had a-certain income. To admit young women it néeded a larger one. It got it and admitted them, The whole thing is as plain as any other case of getting money before you spend it.” Ah! Strange’such a difference there should be ‘twixt tweedle- dum and tweedledee. TWO PERPETUAL CANDIDATES. FORTY YEARS AGO this country had a perpetual presidential can- didate who was liable to'turn up at any point within its borders at anytime. He didn't have a special car, but trav- eled on foot. He preferred to call on editors, and his specialty was the college town. He usually entered editors’ rooms without knocking, seated himself without a word, and when the editor saw him recognized the editor with a broad, sweet smile and a warm clasp of a large hand. He was not proud. He read accepted such little contribu- tions to his needs as the ed- itor chose to give, and after a time squeezed himself out of the office and went to the nearest restaurant, where he regaled his inner man. As the shades of night drew on the college-boys made his ac- quaintance and presently got him to make a speech. Then it occurred to them that they had got hold of a good thing and they made preparations for what was usually called an evening blow-out. The stranger in their midst would speak to them in any public hall or, on a box, at any street- corner. They could furnish the subject if they chose, but he preferred to speak on “the hallucination of the cornucopia.” As the night went on the man waxed eloquent. The boys were extremely familiar. They pelted him with snow-balls by way of applause, and at times re- moved his tall, aged hat and sat on it. Usually about one o'clock in the morning the perpetual candidate had started to walk to the next town and the boys had gone home exhausted, not having failed to fill the gentleman up to the full capacity of their generous selves. This gentleman was formally known as Daniel Pratt, editor of the Gréd- tron, which nobody ever saw, and perpetual candidate for president. He ame and went for many years. His familiar face has not been seen for a long time; so we suppose he has passed on without having reached the goal of his ambition, The JUDGE would not compare Daniel Pratt with the gentleman who has just passed off the presidential stage for the second time. ‘The pleas- ing face of Mr. Bryan, his apparent honesty, his fine rhetoric, his profuse ideas forbid. But the idea of the perpetual candidacy was certainly orig- inally presented by Mr. Pratt and was played successfully for many a year; though, to be sure, he didn’t steal his wigwam or pretend to be more than one kind of a candidate at any one time. His superiority to Mr. Pratt is great. His dignity has never been seriously attacked, and if it were the offender would doubtless get as good as he sent, There was nothing charming about Mr. Pratt, and Mr. Bryan is charming as well as original and prolific; but we imagine that the perpetual presidential candidacy, which lasted so many years with Mr, Pratt, has perished for all time in the case of Mr. Bryan, Thus some men can nurse their capital and some can't; but we should like to know what has become of poor old Uncle Daniel comicbooks.com