Judge — October 20, 1900 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OTATO PHILOSOPHY. Dey’s a mighty sight ob people Findin’ fault mos’ ebery day “Cause de lucky winnin’ numbah Ain’ a-skatin’ down deir way ; An’ dey walks roun’ on deir uppahs ‘Twell de nap is off deir clo'es— But de way toe dig pertaters Is toc foller out de rows. Tooby shuah, ‘twould save us trubble, An’ it looks laik common sense, Jes’ toe hab de wuk brung toe us Write we lean agin de fence; But de crop is mighty scattered— Dat's de way de tuber grows— An’ de way toe find pertaters Is toe foller out de rows. Lordy ! ain’ yo" seen dem fellers Dat is boun’ toe marry rich, Dressin’ toe de top ob fashion ‘An’ in debt fo" ebery stitch, Twell some hayseed cotch dat heiress Undernead his berry nose, An’ he collars dem pertaters Jes’ by follerin’ de rows? 1 jes’ watch de polertician ‘Twenty yeahs a-layin’ pipe, An’ yo bet his tank is ready Wren de votin’ time is ripe Wiile de blowhard he gits nu! But a blossom on his nose, Fer pertaters dey needs diggin’, An’ dey strings “em out in rows, THE STOVE SMOKED. Something must be done with our stove. It smokes dreadfully, and it smokes a pipe at that.” Also likewise gittin’ dollars Bet yorr life ain’ foolish play, Fo’ dey’s roun’ an’ roll so easy Dey is apt toe git away. W'en yo" find de piunk is captured Sait it ‘way down in yo" clo'es— Fo' de dollahs, like pertaters, Seems toe string along in rows. Doan’ yo" lissen toe de hobo, Or fo" shuah yo" git’ sold. Ef de worl’ owes yo" a livin’ Dey will hand it toe yo" cold ; Ef yo" want a Chris'mus to’key Hustle roun’ befo' it snows— An’ remembah fo" pertaters Yo" mus agitate de rows. It's de debbil builds de fences Whar de lazy folks kin lean, An’ he puts ‘em roun’ conwenient Whar de crops is growin’ green. Tut de autumn time is flyin’; TT . y Soon de chilblains nip yo'r toes, TOPSY-TURVY. An’ yo! lose yo'r crop ob eaters W ile yo" squint along de rows. “* Wa-al, how's that?) There was only one os- ——Wacal, I swan! If the critter ain't turned up trich in that pen last night, and now there’s two, — PRECEDENT. AS THE general manager for Dundee cattle company’ great ranch in southwest Texas was registering ata Corpus Christi hotel the clerk r irked that he thought the name s‘:ould be spelled with a double d. “Wasal, my young friend so lang as the Almichty is satis ai SSesese i. =\c: <> SS fied with one d till his name one d will be good enough for John Tod." AUTUMN SCHEMES, NON politicians are imbued With schemes to get the vote out, The while the impecunious dude Schemes hard to get’his coat out, PERFECT SYSTEM Northern visitor —* Yur isn't there some danger that you might occasionally lynch the wrong man?” Ge Not the least. - Vi “ ti = BAU, ‘a Je have : i sah. We have a written list of EVIDENTLY “WANDERING! eligibles, and everything is in x Mxs. Jonrs—'* Oh, doctor! is. my husband still irrational ?” . ee alphabetical ordah, sah Docror Dosem—" Extremely so, When I told him your mother was coming to-morrow he smiled.” Lor Fc PA comicbooks.com