Judge, 1900-10-06 · page 10 of 16
Judge — October 6, 1900 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects brief satirical jokes and humorous observations typical of Judge magazine's format. **Notable items:** The **Aguinaldo** verse mocks Filipino revolutionary leader Emilio Aguinaldo, likely referencing the ongoing Philippine-American War (1899-1902). The joke suggests he's overvalued—worthless on a postage stamp despite claims of importance. **"His Beneficent Way"** satirizes Dr. Pillsbury as an absent physician more interested in fishing than patients—a common Victorian trope about incompetent professionals. **"A Perfect Defense"** uses a crude racial stereotype in dialect, where a defendant claims an unattractive woman's face as legal defense against assault charges. **"A Fine Road"** plays on "scorching" (reckless driving) versus actual traffic fines. **"A Startling Query"** depicts Bridget, an Irish servant, blithely unaware of social niceties—unfazed learning of a neighbor's death. The remaining items are light verse, dating jokes, and domestic humor reflecting period attitudes toward gender, class, and ethnicity typical of early 1900s American satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
«MUA 1 wv Jounnie Bretir—'t Yes, Willie. you can have a bite, it don’t take all.” AGUINALDO. THEY say he is a Washington, He's more to all intents ; For put him on a two-cent stamp He'd look like thirty cents. HIS BENEFICENT WAY. City nephew —" What do you think of Doctor Pillsbury as a physician ?” Farmer Hayroob —" Satest doctor anywhere in this part of the county —nearly always off fishin’ when he’s wanted.” COLOR-BLINDNESS. Nice old lady copy of the Eventi —" Dear, deat talk so much about the yellow journals; do you know, this looks pink to me.” DO oe AK A PERFECT DEFENSE. Bitton AN AUTUMN NOTE. MONG the stacks of corn ‘The pumpkin richly glows ; The bullock winds his horn, The cider sweetly flows. Nothing but de young lady’s face, yer honor. The squirrel skims the rail, ‘The burnished chestnut falls, And down the dreamy dale ‘The bob-white blithely calls. And souneasy lies The head, though round or flat, That as the red leaf flies Wears summer's big straw-hat, AT HER TONGUE’S END. Norma —“\ suppose you are getting to be quite a literary woman — belonging to clubs?” lyn —* Oh, yes; I have all the noted authors at my tongue’s end, I'm to write a paper for next week on ‘Char- lotte Bronté ‘you know that is Jane Eyre’s masterpiece.” three * You are charged with trying to kiss that young lady. Have you any defense to offer 2” I deny de akkerzation and offer dat face as evidence.” =e mh wotice | A FINE ROAD. Tox Wier.er—" That road yo down is a fine road for scorching, isn’t it?" Jack ScorcER—" Yes ; five dollars fine.” A STARTLING QUERY. BRIDGET had left Mrs, Clark’s service for some months, and that lady had quite lost sight of her, when one day she went to call on the Gilberts and Bridget opened the door. “How do you do, Bridget?” said Mrs. Clark in surprise. “I didn’t know you were living here.” . “Oh, yes, mam, Clark an’ Mis: “ They ar you, Bridget.” An’ how's Mrs, Brown, next dour to ye, mam?” “Mrs. Brown!” said Mrs, Clark, dropping her voice, “She died last Thursday.” An’ how's Mr. Bessie an’ Mr. Bob?” all quite well, thank 0 mother was tellin’ me,” replied Bridget, unabashed. REGGIE'S VIEW. THAT autumn ’s sad and gloomy Is'not a secret deep When school is wide awake and Vacation 's fast asleep. ROUGH ON THE COFFEE-POT. Axoruine. (reading}—""A woman beats her husband insensible wid a coffee-pot ! Penetore —"* Perfect shameful. W'ot does she s'pose stove-lifters an’ rollin’-pins is for? The extravagart creature !"” Ain't dat turrible 2” Bl comicbooks.com “C, “Wha girls i hangin Press, Hor greate with A At dro oT of the him bi circles No ter, th hot sea tura B Law Wellk edges, is sot Indian